Our life and times....

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T18:49:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are not on our Christmas card list, I apologize for the oversight. Here, however, is what you would have received in the mail from us:

What a year 2011 has been! We don’t normally do a Christmas letter, but so much has happened in the last year we thought we would put it all in writing to keep you updated.
As you probably know, we moved to the Joplin area for Joe to pastor a church. This Christmas brings us to the close of our second full year at Pathways UMC in Oronogo, which is north of Joplin. Last December we broke ground on the land the church had bought and construction started on the church’s first permanent building. Prior to that the church had been meeting in an old school building in nearby Alba. The school had sat vacant for many years until the church moved in. The building was drafty, creaky, and smelled a little funny (can you tell how much we loved that building?). We spent January through August in the construction phase of the new building.
A lot of our time this year was devoted to the church, whether with building projects or with preparing for the church’s grand opening. There were a lot of activities throughout the summer to let the community know we were moving to our new location. We hosted a concert with the Mark Chapman Band and a comedy night with Skinny Improv. We also did a Back-to-School Blast for kids and did outreach through events in the community during the Hope Epidemic and Serve 2011. It’s been a busy year but we’ve made a lot of great memories with our “family” at church.
This year also brought some big changes in our lives as well. This summer we took the plunge and bought a house in Carl Junction. The house we lived in before was a rental with a hard-to-mow lot and a pain-in-the-neck swimming pool (or frog hatchery) to keep up with. The carpet was ugly as was the outdated linoleum throughout the house. The house we bought is only a mile down the road, but sits on a lovely, tree-filled lot and has lots of recent updates. The view out every window is trees, which was wonderfully beautiful throughout the summer. These same trees have filled us with dread this fall as we have watched our yard fill up with leaves! Those leaves aren’t going to rake themselves! The joys of homeownership, right?
Speaking of our home, we’re sure many of you are curious about how we fared in the Joplin tornado. At the time of the tornado we were still living in the rental house, although we had already signed the paperwork to buy our new house. Where we live is northwest of Joplin, so we were totally unaffected by the storm damage. When the tornado hit, we were in the car on our way home from Springfield. We were moments away from where the tornado went through and the large hail forced us to take shelter off the road, under an overpass. Thankfully, we were a couple of miles north of the path the tornado ended up taking, so we were safe in the spot where we waited out the storm. As we waited, we turned on the radio and heard play-by-play of the places in town that were being destroyed. It was a scary time as we didn’t know what awaited us. The tornado started just outside the city limits on the west side of Joplin and kept right on going, tearing a ¾ mile wide path across the entire city, exiting outside the city limits on the east side of town. Along the way it destroyed thousands of homes, hundreds of businesses and killed 161 people. Of the people who were lost, we personally only knew two of them – our church’s bookkeeper and the electrician who was performing work on the new church building. Four of our congregation members lost their homes in the tornado. In the six months since the tornado, many businesses have either rebuilt or relocated to new buildings. Most of the debris has been completely cleared and many homes are either newly completed or under construction. We had thousands of volunteers and countless donations during the time that followed the tornado and the outpouring of generosity toward Joplin has been inspiring.
Other news I’m sure you’re interested to know: Truman had his fourth birthday this month. He is loving the new house – especially the fenced yard and the never-ending parade of squirrels he gets to chase outside. Tina is still working at Missouri Southern State University. This year she has had a chance to sit on a couple of committees, including the committee on emergency management for the campus. This committee was an integral part of the campus signing an agreement with Red Cross just weeks before the Joplin tornado, an agreement that led to the campus being a major source of support to the entire community in the weeks and months following the disaster. The ink was barely dry on the agreement when the tornado hit and we hadn’t even had a chance to be trained in how to handle a disaster! After the fact, the Red Cross and FEMA both told us that our response to the disaster has caused them to re-think how they will handle wide-scale disasters in the future. Since we hadn’t yet been trained, the campus leaders just jumped in and did what they knew best – and set a new standard for disaster relief in the process!

Other than work and church stuff, we have had a chance to do some traveling this year. In March we traveled back to Minneapolis, MN for a week. We visited our old favorites – Raising Cane’s, IKEA, Mall of America, Izzy’s Ice Cream, and Bad Waitress. We were also blessed to see lots of old friends. In November, we were able to travel to Gulf Shores, AL for a few days for a time of retreat and relaxation, thanks to our friends who generously let us borrow their family’s condo. Joe took the time writing sermons while staring at the beach and Tina used the time to read. We enjoyed some of the great restaurants Gulf Shores had to offer, including LuLu’s (founded by Jimmy Buffet’s sister) and Hawg Wild BBQ.
Certainly there are lots of details of the past year that we’ve left unsaid here. Either we’ve forgotten or the details are just too mundane to bore you with. We do hope this letter finds you and your family full of joy. We hope you have a blessed Christmas and New Year!
Merry Christmas!

Fiiiiiiiive Familyyyy Gatherings...

2011-12-16T16:31:00.000-06:00

A few years ago Hollywood brought us the movie "Four Christmases" with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. In the film, this couple always planned a vacation during the Christmas season so they could avoid their respective families during the holidays. The plan falls apart and they end up having to attend all four family events. They survive the ordeal, but the situation makes for good comedy.

Getting married has brought us not four Christmases...no that would be a welcome scenario, actually....but marriage has brought us FIVE Christmases. We have three in my family (two extended and one with immediate family) and two gatherings of immediate family for Joe's side of the house. None of these gatherings takes place in the town where we live. Each event involves at least an hour and a half of driving. One way. Our dog is only welcome at one gathering and is tolerated at another. The whole Christmas break is fraught with stress.

I hear friends talk about just having their own little family gathering on Christmas day or taking a cruise over Christmas break and it all sounds so free and wonderful. I love my family...all of them...but I don't love the five drives involved in spending the holidays with them or having to figure out what to do with poor Truman while we're away. Maybe someday we can get our Christmases together for one gigantic family event. Or maybe the entire family should all just go on a cruise together and forget about the stress that Christmas can bring -- while we drink out of glasses with tiny umbrellas sticking out of them. Until then, I'll dream about it. If you see me smiling during the holidays, imagine me with a fruity cruise-style drink in my hand and you'll have a pretty good idea of what's going on inside my head.

Things I bet you didn't know

2011-11-10T16:48:00.000-06:00

Next time I (Tina) play "Two Truths and a Lie" we'll see how many of you read this blog. Did you know that:

I don't have pierced ears. Never have. No piercings at all, actually. Two reasons for this: (1) I develop weird scar tissue called "keloids"; and (2) I'm a certifiable coward.
I hate cooked fruit. I love fresh fruit and I love the idea of fruit pies. Unfortunately something weird happens to the texture of fruit once it is cooked that makes it unpleasant to my mouth. So, if you serve me a fruit pie I'll eat it, but you'll probably see a pile of cooked fruit leftover on the plate when I'm finished. Please don't be offended by this. It's my issue not yours.
I am legally blind in one eye. I was born with a cataract (thanks Grandma Smith and Grandma Thomas for passing that gene down) and I've never had surgery to correct it.
I have a six inch scar on my scalp. When I was three years old my mom and I were in a car accident. That was before kids were required to be strapped into car seats until their 13th birthday. Instead of safely sitting in the backseat of our car, I was laying across the front seat with my head on my mom's lap. Well, I was laying there until someone ran a stopsign and broadsided us and my head plowed into the dash of the car. That's okay, I don't have many ill effects from it other than the scar. Wait...who are you and what are you doing here? Do I know you?
I have been hugged by both Jay Leno and Vince Gill. Don't tell my husband.
When I was a kid I wanted to be either an astronaut or a detective. I'm glad I didn't grow up to be either.
I've been a lion, a tiger and a bear. Oh my! I graduated from Missouri State University (bears) and got my master's degree from the University of Missouri-Columbia (tigers). Now I work for Missouri Southern State University (lions).
I was born 19 days late (I suspect the due date was wrong, but it's a fun detail to pretend is true)
My wedding was the first one ever at the Gillioz Theatre in Springfield, MO. The theatre was renovated and opened in October of 2006 and my wedding there was in December.
I have always planned to adopt my children. That's been my desire for as long as I can remember. I could probably give birth to biological children. I don't know. Why bother when there are so many great kids out there who need forever families?

I'm sure there are other little known facts and maybe those will be recorded in some future blog.

Sometimes Hindsight is 20/80

2011-10-12T18:46:00.000-06:00

The saying "Hindsight is 20/20" sounds great and is very often true. But, I find that sometimes hindsight is blurry, like the vision of someone with a serious cataract. Sometimes hindsight is 20/80.

I (Tina) worked for a private, Christian school for six years. I was the guidance counselor. I loved that job and would happily go back if we ever move back to that city. My students were great and I had great relationships with many of them. Aside from being a guidance counselor I taught senior Bible and high school drama. I was able to be a class sponsor and Student Council sponsor for several years while I was there. As class sponsor I was able to travel on the senior mission trips taken to Toronto and Belize. My drama Lovelies produced three comedies and two Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. While in that job I made a plethora of memories that I will always cherish.

Unfortunately, not everyone shares my fond remembrance of that school. Tonight while on Facebook I saw a conversation string about this particular school and many of the comments were about how these former students had basically no good memories to look back upon. They claim that this particular school gave them nothing and did not prepare them well for their experiences in college. Really? I wonder, was their experience really so terrible as all that? They had small class sizes, teachers who cared about them, opportunities to be participate in activities like drama or sports or be part of an award-winning choir. While kids in area schools were cut from sports teams, our students all had opportunities to compete. Everyone who participated in drama had a part in our plays. Was the school perfect? No. But no school is perfect.

Why then is their view in hindsight so negative? I believe it was a culture of negativity in this particular cohort of students. While they were in high school they were generally prone to see the glass as half empty. In the moment they had fun, had lots of friends, had good relationships with their teachers, and were involved in lots of activities. But even with all those positivies, they were focused on how much they hated the dress code or how unfair it was that our school didn't have a dance for prom or how cruel it was that we made them wear lanyards. When viewed through poop-colored lenses, the school I loved was seen by these particular students as being full of....well, you can imagine what they thought. Their negativity was contagious and seeped over into others and the climate of negativity was hard to escape. Even now, reading this Facebook conversation has caused me to question all that I thought was true of my own experiences. Did I really enjoy it as much as I remember?

There's a lesson to be learned here. I don't want to view my world with poop-colored glasses. I don't want negativity in my attitude to cause my hindsight to be a blurry mess. There are so many blessings around me and I want to enjoy them now...and as I look back at them later.

Advice to future church planters

2011-09-18T18:30:00.002-06:00

In December of 2009, we came to pastor a small church plant (or a new church start-up) in southwest Missouri. The church had been planted several years before we came, but had taken a pretty rough roller coaster ride before our arrival. Having been there for almost two years now, we have a few pieces of advice for future church planters based on what we've learned so far:

Lesson #1: Don't plant your church in a rented space that is larger that what you can afford to build. Why? You'll be spoiled by all the space and it will be somewhat of a shock when you enter your new building. It is better to be squeezed for space in your rental so that your new building is a welcome relief.

Lesson #2: Watch TLC's "Hoarders: Buried Alive" and strive to do the exact opposite. Don't accumulate items you won't want to move later. 'Tis better to have to re-purchase a few items than to figure out what to do with thousands of items you'll never need to use again.

Lesson #3: Seek advice from others who have gone before you and use the advice that fits your situation. Other church planters are a fount of knowledge on the subject and can offer you amazing advice that you couldn't possibly think up on your own. It's not a sign of weakness to learn from others' successes and failures....it's a sign of wisdom.

Lesson #4: There are about 5,847 details that will fly at you, demanding your attention every day of pastoring a church plant. It's easy to get bogged down in all those details. Just don't forget all the people you're there to lead and the other people you're there to reach out to. The details need to get done, but none of those details matter without the people.

Lesson #5: Your spouse had better be 100% on your team or you'll never make it. We have amazing friends outside our church and inside our church, but leading a church plant requires a special kind of team-work and communication as spouses. Lean on your spouse because you are each others best advisors and cheerleaders.

Lesson #6: Don't forget to love people and have fun along the way.

The Summer of Boxes

2011-07-14T18:07:00.002-06:00

We made a major life decision a couple of weeks before the May 22 tornado in Joplin. We put an offer on a house. Since moving to Joplinland we had been renting a lovely house with wonderful neighbors. But the rent was high and it was time to put our money to work for us instead of our landlord. The house we bought is a mile from the house we were renting. Because of the close proximity, we chose not to get a U-Haul. "We can just load up our cars, a couple of loads a night" we told ourselves. "It'll be easier to move down the street than it was to move to/from Minnesota" was the delusion that drove us. Sweat, a million boxes and three weeks of frustration/exhaustion later and we're finally moved into the new house. And the new house is wonderful.

If it were just the move from one house to another then a few weeks of pain would have been bearable. But our move from house to house is the easiest part of our summer. The real fun will happen in a few weeks as we move from one church to another. All the stuff that our church members have accumulated in the past 10 years will have to be moved from the old school in Alba to our brand new "home" in Oronogo. Oh, don't get me wrong, the new church will be a dream-come-true for us all. The old Alba schol building is just moments away from being condemned. There's mold in the basement, broken A/C in most of the building, funny smells (not "ha ha" funny), stains on the floors and many many more quirks we will be leaving behind. When this summer is over I may never want to see another box again...unless it's wrapped in gift wrap and full of a wonderful surprise!

Parenting

2011-06-19T20:47:00.005-06:00

Disclaimer: I don't have children. I don't even pretend to know what it would be like to have children. All I have is a dog who sometimes acts like a toddler, but I know that doesn't count. The written rant that follows is based mostly on my opinion and in some cases an educated guess about what I might do as a parent someday. Some of this is based on the fact that I have a master's degree in social work and lots of experience with children (other people's children). Some is based on my own childhood and some is based on seeing the successes and failures of other parents I have witnessed. Feel free to roll your eyes if you must, but at least give me the benefit of the doubt and read the whole blog post first.

I want kids but more that that I want kids who will grow up to be great adults someday. I'm not one of those people who laments when my kids are "too big to cuddle". I want them to grow up and be preteens and teenagers and adults. I'm excited for the different stages of their development and I can't wait for greater and greater maturity to be evident. I want to raise kids who live as debt-free as possible, who have happy, healthy marriages, who value education and knowledge and work hard at jobs they love.

Because I want to raise great adults I know I have a hard job while my kids are children. They are going to hear the word "no". A lot. I'm not going to be a jerk about it but I also want them to know they can survive when things don't go their way. I want them to be able to cope when someone else wins a game or when someone else takes home the prize. I want disappointment to be a momentary glitch in life and nothing more. I also want my kids to value the things they own -- and to value the things that belong to others. As members of a family, my children will have household chores each week. And these chores won't be tied to any form of allowance or other benefit beyond the knowledge that families must work as a team to make life run smoothly. My kids will have opportunities to earn money for extra chores they do, like helping with yard work or washing the car.

Along those lines, my children will have to save up their money and will learn that there are certain things that they must buy for themselves. "Do you want a cell phone? Great. You can have one when you can pay for it yourself." "Expensive, impractical shoes? Sure. Let me know when you've saved up enough money and I'll drive you to the mall." You get the picture. I don't want my children to expect to receive every item that strikes their momentary fancy. One of my biggest fears is that someday my child will leave our home and fall into the credit card trap in an effort to keep up with a lifestyle I've instilled in them. I want them to understand that they won't automatically turn 18, move out on their own and immediately have a home and nice things and the freedom to buy everything they want. A realistic first place involves ratty, handmedown furniture, cheap Ramen noodles, and old Cool Whip containers in place of Tupperware. You work your way up to the comfortable lifestyle that most adults enjoy and you do that by working hard and spending your money wisely (including savings).

I want my children to grow up with the ability to delay gratification. Saying "no" to something right now might allow the freedom to say "yes" to something even better in the future. There are several studies about delayed gratification, and children who are able to delay gratification tend to be more successful as adults. I want that for my children. I want my children to be able to say "no" to their own impulsive decisions and to the pressures of impulsive friends. I want them to do well in school so that they have plenty of options available to them after high school. If college is the path they choose then I want them to have plenty of options available for scholarships so that they don't have to graduate with burdensome student loans.

Most of all I want my children to be well liked. Don't mistake what I'm saying here. I'm not saying I want my children to be "popular". I spent a lot of my life expecting that popularity would be the thing that would make my life complete. I can now look back at many of those then-popular kids and I see the error of my ways. I don't want that for my kids. I do want them to be well liked. I want them to be socially adept, comfortable with other kids and with adults. I want them to be able to carry on a conversation. and to have polite manners. I want them to have empathy and concern for others. I want them to be generous and thoughtful. I want them to be the kind of kid (and someday adult) that others admire fondly, not because he or she is the life-of-the-party, but because of a lifestyle of genuine kindness.

"It all sounds good, but unrealistic", you say. Maybe. I don't have kids and so I don't know how unrealistic it really is. But, I know that it won't be easy to raise great adults. I know that saying "no" won't always look like an episode of "The Cosby Show". But, I know that if my kids are going to mess up I would much rather they mess up while they still live under my roof so I can help guide them through their mistakes to help them avoid making that same mistake a second time. I do know it can be done because I've seen it done. I think my parents did it, and even though I didn't always appreciate it at the time, I know I have a great life now that is almost entirely thanks to their parenting back then. I hope that someday my kids write a blog post just like this using Twitbook or whatever social networking tool that is available in the future. Check back in 20 years or so to see if my parenting plans are successful.

Chaos and Courage....Joplin style

2011-05-27T10:01:00.003-06:00

As most people have surely heard by now, Joplin, Missouri was hit by a killer F5 tornado on Sunday, May 22nd. The tornado tore through the heart of our city at around 5:30 p.m., a time when many people were shopping and eating at businesses in the path of the storm. The storm started it's destruction on the west side of town, ripping through one of our large hospitals before tearing through residential neighborhoods and destroying Joplin's Stained Glass Theatre in the process. It continued east toward Main Street, cutting a 3/4 mile wide path across Joplin where it anhilated most of 15th - 26th streets and everything in between. The destruction along our main business route, Rangeline Road, was perhaps the most visually devastating. Unrecognizable are the Home Depot, Walgreens, Pizza by Stoutt, Aldi's, Enterprise Rent-a-Car and many other businesses. Parts of Walmart are still standing, as are parts of Cherry Berry, Chick-fil-a, Joann's Fabric, Freddy's, Goodwill, Jim Bob's and several others. Most of that section of the city is unrecognizable since business landmarks and street signs have all been wiped off the map, scrubbed from the face of the earth. Beautiful old trees that had weathered many decades of growth now litter the tops of cars and homes. Cars were tossed hither and yon as if a giant naughty toddler were tossing his toys in the air mid-tantrum.

Joplinites have responded triumphantly with the help of countless volunteers from across the U.S. and workers from the Red Cross, FEMA, National Guard, Convoy of Hope, Samaritan's Purse and other agencies. Thousands of donations have poured in from all over. People across the four-states area have held donation drives and blood drives. Missouri Southern State University has become a chaotic hub of activity as it houses the central location for Red Cross, FEMA and the National Guard. The guardsmen have erected mobile barracks and FEMA has brought in large mobile units. These agencies have commandeered our Health Sciences building, Leggett-Platt Gymnasium and Billingsly Student Center along with most of the parking lots and green spaces on campus. The newly homeless of Joplin have found a temporary home in Leggett-Platt along with plenty of food, new clothing and other services.

In tragic situations like this, you see the best and worst in humanity. We've definitely seen the worst come out in people as we hear reports of looters ravaging the remains of businesses. Some have stolen chainsaws from out-of-town volunteers and one was reported looting equipment from a firetruck. On the whole, however, the majority of stories coming from this tragedy have been stories of courage, survival, generosity, service and Christ-like love.

The TV cameras will soon go away from Joplin and the next big thing will move people's attention and focus away from our devastation. We will be forgotten by most people and be left to pick up the pieces on our own. The generous spirit and servanthood of locals will continue as we clean up the mess and rebuild the city. Please keep Joplin in your prayers even after the TV cameras leave town. It's going to be a long while before we're back to normal.

Confessions of an INTJ

2011-05-11T18:05:00.000-06:00

Hi. My name is Tina and I'm an INTJ.

When I was growing up in my small town, I was a square peg in a round hole. A really small round hole. I didn't fit in. You know that scene in Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" where Belle is walking around her provincial little town with her book in hand? That was me. I graduated high school, arrived at college and had this wildly freeing epiphany about how I no longer felt out-of-place. A couple of years later in one of my business courses, the instructor gave us the Myers-Briggs personality inventory (or maybe the Keirsey Temperament Sorter which is a shorter version with the same results). I was very definitely an INTJ. Reading the description of the typical INTJ was like reading my autobiography. The description fit me perfectly.

The "I" is for Introvert which explained why I always had a smaller group of close-knit friends instead of the feeding frenzy of here-today-gone-tomorrow popularity that was so prevalent in my graduating class. I am very social but I'm not social in large-group settings. I am a good conversationalist but I'm not good in situations where I have to drive the conversation. The "N" in INTJ is for iNtuitive, which means I lean toward the big picture instead of details. I love thinking about possibilities, new ideas, and how to build a better mousetrap (not literally). The "T" is for Thinking. I do think a lot and I tend to ask a lot of questions (either out loud or in my head). The main issue with the T characteristic is that in making decisions I want to focus on right vs. wrong, black vs. white instead of focusing on the feelings of others. I care how others feel, but ultimately I'd rather make the right decision, even if it isn't the popular decision. Finally, the "J" stands for Judging, which really just means I want a plan. I like a list, a schedule, and an itinerary.

Finding out my personality provided me a ton of freedom in accepting who I am and why I didn't fit into my hometown. But, as the great "Facts of Life" will tell you, you take the good and you take the bad. The bad of being an INTJ is that I tend to think I'm always right. I sit back and observe and ask questions and think about possibilities for doing things better and, even if it isn't popular, I think that I'm right and others are wrong because I have a plan and my plan is well thought out. The prayer that goes with my Myers-Briggs type is "Lord, help me to be open to others' ideas, wrong though they may be." This is a funny prayer....but also too-true. I'm trying to learn that I'm not always right -- or that I'm not always the only right one in the room. I'm trying to learn to shut up and listen to others as they give input and make suggestions. Am I right? Yeah, sometimes. But am I always right? Probably not. Only Jesus can make that claim.

Freedom?

2011-05-02T19:35:00.002-06:00

My heart is distressed. Last night, the President of the United States appeared live on national television to announce that Osama bin Laden had finally been found and killed by members of the Navy Seals. The coverage since then has been largely focused on that event and the reaction of Americans. There was celebrating in the streets and at national monuments. People cheered that bin Laden had been killed. At a gathering in NYC's Twin Towers site, one person celebrated by playing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes. My friends on Facebook were equally vocal in their reaction to the news. Many of my Christian friends (even a few who consider themselves leaders in the Christian community) celebrated that bin Laden got what he deserved -- Hell.

Is this what Jesus would do? Would the savior (who died so we might have life and have it abundantly) be happy that we are rejoicing in the death of another human being? Would Jesus be happy that a song with the lyrics "Amazing Grace.....that saved a wretch like me?" is being used to celebrate someone's eternal suffering and separation from God? Really? We're really going to use "Amazing Grace" to celebrate someone going to Hell? Is that why Christ died?

Is it okay to be glad the world is rid of Osama bin Laden? I don't know. That's not my job to decide. Do I think it's okay for Christians -- who are supposed to look like Jesus in their words and actions -- to celebrate bin Laden's death? Well I think we've lost sight in who the true Enemy is. The true Enemy deceived bin Laden into his wrong religious beliefs and now he is paying the price for all of eternity. The true Enemy wants to deceive you, too....so be careful to make sure your response is from the heart of Jesus.

Hug a Pastor Day

2011-04-28T20:34:00.002-06:00

Okay, don't literally hug your pastor. Especially if you're a woman and your pastor is a man. That could be awkward. Unless your pastor is your husband -- which luckily for me is the case. I get to hug my pastor whenever I feel like it, but that's hardly the point of this blog.

The title "Hug a Pastor Day" really isn't a call for a literal day of pastor-hugging. This blog is a call to consider the needs of your pastor so that you can show him the love and respect he needs in order to continue to effectively do one of the world's hardest jobs. Pastors work for low pay (even lower than teachers) because they feel called to serve God and mankind through ministry. Some pastors even work a "regular" job during the week and pastor their congregation with any time that is leftover. Pastors have the daunting task of studying Scripture, commentaries, other texts, Hebrew, Greek, and the occasional joke book to write their weekly sermons. They need to strike just the right balance of humor, insight, exegesis, human interest, and application -- all while making sure the Holy Spirit has room to speak. These sermons have to be a "home run" each week to hold the attention of congregation members and leave people feeling properly "fed". Of course, there has to be a proper balance between conviction and inspiration, along with the periodic "stewardship" sermon thrown in to keep the church budget intact.

While writing these home-run sermons, pastors also have to "shepherd" their "flock" through their various life events (births, hospitalizations, pre-marriage, marriage, divorce, dying, and death) at whatever time of day these events happen. Pastors also have to connect with congregation members throughout the week using letters, emails, Facebook posts, blogs, phone calls, coffee meetings, lunches, small group meetings, and various committee meetings -- and with the bits of time that are leftover, he might get to connect with his family.

Let's not forget the expectations we have of our pastor. He should be loving at all times. Always kind, encouraging, full of wisdom, and amazingly able to bend his schedule to meet whatever needs arise. He should be able to hear complaints of congregation members at any time and presented in any manner (including Sunday mornings right before delivering that home-run sermon) without expressing any disappointment or self-doubt. Because of your pastor's great spiritual-maturity, his ministry (and his attitude) will not be negatively affected in the least by these criticisms. Your pastor will continue to do his job with a smile on his face and a word of encouragement on his tongue because that is what God called him to do.

If you want to Hug your Pastor then offer him a compliment once in a while. Offer to pray with him or for him. Ask him if there is anything he needs help with around his house or at the church. Make sure he and his wife have ample time to spend together outside of ministry commitments and maybe offer to let his kids come over to play with your kids on a Sunday afternoon so he can take a much needed nap. Do you really want to encourage your pastor? Invite him to lunch or coffee sometime during the week and ask him how you can help pray for or reach out to your community. Be part of his ministry as a partner, not just a consumer.

Lent Sacrifice

2011-04-06T18:59:00.002-06:00

As the wife of a United Methodist pastor, I am celebrating Lent for the first time in my life. I grew up in a church that didn't celebrate Lent and until recently, I thought only Catholics practiced Lent. This year I gave up Facebook statuses. For most of you, this sounds like a pretty frivolous sacrifice. But, I get a lot out of updating my status with witty, sarcastic, irreverent comments meant to solicit reactions from my friends. Some statuses are in response to what I'm watching on television (like "The Bachelor" or "American Idol"). Other statuses refer to my passionate love of pajamas or deep hatred of Mondays. Whatever the topic, I get a lot of satisfaction over finding just the right combination of words to put something out there that is worthy of a chuckle or even a "like". I've got about 20 days left at this point and I'm having some serious withdrawal. So, I will blog a few of the things I have been unable to say for the past several days of status fasting: * American Idol's country crooner Scott McCreary looks like Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine. And it kind of freaks me out. * Frank Haith? Really Mizzou? What, did my dead grandma turn you down for the job so you offered it to the next best basketball coach? * I love me some pajamas. If I could wear pajamas all the time, I probably would. * (This would have been my status the day I had to go back to work after our vacation to Minnesota). Missouri....or should I say "Misery". The weather was so lovely in Minnesota and I come back to this?! Snow and sleet?! Blargh! * Cadbury Mini Eggs = my favorite part of Springtime. * Joplin: Why don't you have Raising Cane's, Bad Waitress, Izzy's, Ragstock, Home Goods, IKEA or Target Salvation Army? You could be such a better town with any of those places. * Wanted: A job where I can (a) sleep until at least 8 a.m. (b) be creatively utilized, (c) wear pajamas some or all of the time, (d) have a paycheck that supports all my habits (like bill paying) and (e) have plenty of time to pursue my non-job interests. That's not too much to ask, right? * Mondays! Blargh! * I Heart Pajamas! That about sumes it up. Actually, there have been lots of things I wanted to comment on and couldn't and by Easter Sunday I'm sure there will be plenty of other things I'll have to keep to myself. For now, some of the pent up statuses have been released through this blog and I think I can make it a little longer.

Movie Review

2011-03-15T18:47:00.004-06:00

I've been wanting to rant about a recent movie release and haven't had an audience who cares. Who better to rant to than cyberspace? Disney recently spent $150 million on the movie version of Berkeley Breathed's charming children's book "Mars Needs Moms". The book is one of my favorites. It is an adorably funny, intensely sweet tale about a boy's journey from thinking of his mom as an over-bearing parental nightmare to seeing her as the person who loves him more than her own life. The ending will bring tears to your eyes, unless your soul is dead. The movie version, which I will admit I have not and will not see, looks awful. The artwork that was so wonderfully Berk Breathed is nowhere to be seen in the movie version. The main character is the wrong age and doesn't look anything like the book version. The storyline has been expanded to make it feature-film length -- but has also taken it very far away from Breathed's story. I was so excited to hear they had turned it into a movie....until I saw the first trailer. I have since decided that because of my great love for the book I simply cannot see the movie. It would be too much of a travesty. But, isn't that so often the case with movie adaptations of favorite books? "Polar Express", "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs", "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", "A Day With Wilbur Robinson" and others have been a disappontment, too. My advice? Save yourself some money and don't watch the movie. Go to the bookstore and buy Breathed's book instead. Trust me, you'll love it.

All quiet on the blog front

2011-02-18T21:00:00.002-06:00

For about the last six months I have found myself with nothing much to write about. Usually I can muster a comment or post about something. Whether it's an update on life or commentary about some event or description of some memory, I rarely am at a loss for SOMETHING to say in print. Words generally come pretty easily out of my fingertips and into the blogosphere. But lately, I find myself quiet. I don't have anything to say that I think anyone will want to read...myself included. Work is....well, it's work. Church is going well, but not anything that I feel particularly inspired to write about on my personal blog. Perhaps this is what writer's block feels like. Keep checking in. I'm sure I'll get my writing groove back soon. Until then, write your own blog in the comment section to provide me with some much needed inspiration.

Ideas. Daydreams.

2011-01-18T20:43:00.002-06:00

Creative juices have been flowing through me all week. I've been a fountain of ideas on all sorts of subjects. I've got one idea for our church's "summer of grand opening" to have summer movies available for all the kids in the neighborhood. We'd turn the church into a movie theatre each Friday and allow families to enjoy a summer outing together. That little gem is a throwback to my own fond memories in childhood. There were a couple of movie theatres in my hometown that offered a summer movie series full of flicks like "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" or "Apple Dumpling Gang". We were too poor (or mom was too frugal) for us to regularly see regularly priced movies, so summer movies felt like a luxury. We would always sneak in our own treats -- sometimes even hamburgers from McDonalds (another rare treat back then). I so enjoyed those days that I want other kids to grow up with those same memories.

Another big idea I have is hosting an art show as a fundraiser. We would invite local school children to create art pieces around the theme of "childhood" and the fundraiser would help our local agency "Children's Haven". Then there are the ideas for family camp, and for a business I want to someday start.

Maybe someday someone will leave a huge pile of cash on my front doorstep to fund my ideas (or at least let me quit my job so I'd have time to carry my ideas into reality).

Missing Minnesota....maybe?

2010-12-20T20:47:00.002-06:00

Lately, I have found myself homesick for a place I called home for only 11 months. I miss the Twin Cities. I keep dreaming about visiting my Minnesota haunts: Bad Waitress, Raising Cane's, Izzy's Ice Cream, Minnehaha Falls, Urban Refuge, and all the rest. I miss the hustle and bustle of the big city and I miss that within 30 minutes of driving I could escape to any one of its 10,000 beautiful lakes. There were so many great little neighborhood nooks and endless possibilities for adventure to be had in the Cities. I miss the Mall of America with it's cheap mid-week movies and Ragstock shopping.

But, as I watch the Vikings play the Bears at the open air University of Minnesota football stadium, I realize what I do NOT miss about Minnesota....the bitter cold days. My dreams of visiting the Twin Cities are brought to a screeching halt as I remember the Vikings game I worked on a brisk 10 degree day. I shudder as I recall the day it snowed six inches during the workday and I had to ride public transit home for over an hour followed by the two-block hike to the house while the snow pounded into my face. Goosebumps appear on my arms as I reminisce about shoveling snow off the sidewalks. These memories are the ones that makes me happy to be further south this winter. Minnesota, you enjoy your snow and I'll enjoy some relatively balmy 30 degree weather this winter. Maybe when your lovely, temperate summer climates return, so will I.

Update

2010-11-28T16:46:00.003-06:00

It has been a long time since I have blogged a personal update. Joe and I just celebrated our one year anniversary at Pathways UMC in Alba, Missouri. We were introduced to the church one year ago today. Since then, we have gone through some ups and downs with the church. Hidden issues surfaced to be dealt with and hidden hurts have been healed. God has worked a miracle in our midst.

One year later we have a church that just voted to approve building plans and financing for a brand new building. This has been a long-awaited project for the church, a project that began long before we arrived. Earth-movers will begin their work within a few weeks and soon after the foundation will be poured. Before long, walls will emerge and a church will be formed before our very eyes. We should have our grand opening in early May. Until then, we will do the work of growing the church members and preparing them for the real labor of reaching out to our community.

Fall into Autumn

2010-10-23T12:42:00.002-06:00

The wind is blowing outside my window and I can hear the multi-colored leaves rustling as they fall to the ground. Orange, red, yellow and brown everywhere I look. The neglected parts of my closet are making it out into the sunshine as the cooler temperatures demand long-sleeves, sweaters, tights and boots. Stores are filled with spice scented candles and pumpkins. I find myself tempted to bake pies, carve jack-o-lanterns, and drink hot cocoa. I. Love. Fall. There is something to appreciate with each passing season. I love the warm, long days of summer but I grow weary of its sweaty humidity. Winter is lovely when it brings blankets of white and snow days. However, by the end of February I have cabin fever and my always-dry skin is evidence of winter's long cruelty. Spring is probably my favorite with its green goodness, flowery beauty and increasingly more pleasant days. I love those first warm days of spring when the blahs of winter are finally brought to an end. But for today, fall is the best season of all as I look out at the changing colors while pondering pies and sweaters.

New Direction?

2010-09-18T10:11:00.003-06:00

I sometimes teach about goal-setting using the example of planning a trip to Disney World. If you want to get to Disney World then you'll make decisions with Disney World in mind. You wouldn't pack a parka and snowshoes. You wouldn't head out the door without comfortable walking shoes. You would never get there if you got in your car in Missouri and headed north -- or even if you headed in the right general direction without any map. You make choices along the way to get to the right destination.

We have a destination in mind. Joe and I both have had separate dreams of starting a non-profit ministry to provide job skills, family-style connection, social support and other practical needs to those who need a leg up to get out of a bad situation. Mine was concern for young people who are aging out of the foster care system. Joe's was concern for teen moms who have no family support. When we started dating and began talking about our dreams for the future, we realized that we shared what was essentially the same dream. As we've continued to talk about that dream it has taken shape. We hope to someday open a bed and breakfast or resort. The resort would have housing for young people who have aged out of the foster care system (or teen moms). They would be the employees at the resort earning an income while learning trades from cleaning and maintenance to kitchen work to business. We would allow them to use creativity to develop and produce products for a gift shop. They would also work toward receiving an education, whether it is obtaining their GED or pursuing college degrees. They would receive familial support and care, enjoy family-style meals and activities, and have an opportunity to see Christ's love in action through the love of their new "family".

This ministry is our Disney World. We want to start making decisions based on that as our destination. I want my job now to help us get to that goal someday. Perhaps my current decisions need to change so that I can be on the right track to wind up there in a few years. Even now I hope God is opening up a way for us to get there. If you want to invest in this future you can begin by praying. Maybe someday you can join us in the adventure and we can get to our destination together.

Pool Pity Party

2010-08-06T06:54:00.002-06:00

We have a pool. Or a fancy pond. I'm not sure what term our "water feature" deserves. When we looked at this rental property we fell in love with many of the features, like the walk-in closet, new appliances and double sinks in the master bathroom. We also appreciated the large deck, screened in porch and at the time we even thought that the pool might be fun. Since opening the pool earlier this summer we have dealt with filter issues, tadpoles, a variety of pollen and leaves, more tadpoles, endless attempts to clean it, and a few more tadpoles for good measure. We've vacuumed the pool and yet there are still dozens of tadpoles happily calling our pool "home". Other than getting into the pool to clean it, we have yet to enjoy the cool relief of its water. Pools on TV are always portrayed as a luxury, an item that adds to a home's value. After one summer of pool ownership, however, I see it as nothing but a hassle. Maybe we should just declare the tadpoles the winners of this particular fight and let them have the pool.

Lightning Bugs

2010-06-24T13:53:00.004-06:00

Close your eyes and think back to childhood. Hot summer nights in late June or early July, just after the sun has set but still before bedtime. There's a half-full lemonade glass with condensation sweating down the sides sitting on a table next to a folding lawn chair. The grass feels cool and soft under bare feet and the night air feels fresh with a summer breeze blowing just so softly. And all around are the twinkle lights of God's creation as lightning bugs flit here and there in the air all around. Just then you spot an empty Mason jar and with a childhish giggle that jar turns into your own private lightning bug zoo, lighting the night just for you. Those were the days when there wasn't a care in the world. A few nights ago I looked out the window and the sky was dotted by thousands of twinkle lights and it was as if God gave me a little reminder of those carefree childhood days with my very own summer evening light show. Did you ever wonder why God made lightning bugs? What purpose do they serve? I like to think that the lightning bug was a gift to me...a little something bright and cheery to make me smile. :-D

Basement Dwellers (and no, that's not an insult)

2010-05-29T19:24:00.002-06:00

We are basement dwellers. No, I'm not trying to insult the kind of people we are with a term like "bottom feeder". We are literally living in our basement right now. Our air-conditioner has decided not to play nicely and the outdoor unit keeps turning into a giant ice cube (which is cold but doesn't work to make our house any cooler). We moved our mattress into the cool basement of our house and moved the TV down, also. There's a bathroom down here and all of our basic needs are being met on our little "camp out". It has been a fun little adventure but we're ready to get back to normal life. Air-conditioner repair man, where are you?! Landlord, why haven't you sent someone over here, like, yesterday to fix this? And if I'm going to be camping out, then WHERE ARE MY S'MORES?!

My church is McDonalds and yours is Burger King

2010-05-12T13:56:00.004-06:00

I've been teaching the Wednesday night youth group for a couple of weeks now and this week we're having a discussion on the different Christian denominations. It is interesting to note that I grew up in a non-denominational church and worked for six years in an inter-denominational Christian school. I must admit I have been somewhat anti-denomination for most of my adult life because I have seen so many instances of denominations being divisive to the Body of Christ.

It occurred to me as I was preparing for this week's lesson, though, that denominations are really just a way to classify churches and make them somewhat standardized. You're probably thinking "Uh, no duh..." I decided that denominations are really no different than franchises. If I go to McDonalds in St. Louis my hamburger will taste just the same as it would at a McDonalds in Orlando or London or Tokyo. But my McD's burger won't taste anything like a hamburger at the Burger King franchise in any of those cities. The people who work at the counter at the McDonald's in Tokyo may behave differently than those at my neighborhood McD's in Missouri, but I can rest assured that the food itself will be predictable. I can relax in the knowledge that if the signs says "McDonalds" the food I order will be what I expect.

The same is (mostly) true of denominations. If I go into a Southern Baptist Church while on vacation in Seattle or Honolulu, I can reasonably predict they will teach the same basic doctrine as the Southern Baptist Church down the street from my house. That's not to say, however, that my experience in Honolulu or Seattle won't feel different than my local church. Local customs will drive the behavior of the people I meet there, but I can rest assured that the doctrine I hear should line up with what I expect. Same goes for United Methodist, Evangelical Free Church of America, or any other of Baskin Robbins 31 flavors of churches out there.

Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

2010-04-21T08:38:00.002-06:00

In my life I have been affiliated with only three colleges -- Missouri State University (then known as SMSU) for my bachelor's degree, University of Missouri Columbia (fondly known as Mizzou) for graduate school and now Missouri Southern State University for employment. Their mascots are lions (MSSU), tigers (Mizzou) and bears (MSU). Thinking about my time at each place, I realize I learned a lot about myself at each university. I went from small town living in rural Missouri where my graduating class was 65 people (mostly people I had nothing in common with) to the very large campus of Missouri State University. I went from feeling like a square peg in a round hole to finding that I wasn't the only person like me in the world. Other people liked to read books. Other people didn't drink themselves stupid every night. Other people had quirky dry senses of humor and actually understood my jokes. Suddenly I realized that I was pretty okay just the way I was and no longer had to work so hard to try to fit into that small town life from which I had come. That message became even clearer at Mizzou where my eyes were opened up to all sorts of qualities I never realized about myself. I moved to a place where I knew exactly zero other people and by the time I left I had gained friends who are still in my life today. I learned that I actually enjoy public speaking and that I can make a crowd laugh. I also learned that I actually have creative "muscles" that I enjoy flexing from time to time. Mizzou gave me an abundance of skills outside of my degree and I believe God used the very liberal Mizzou to show me how He had shaped me for ministry. I've worked a few places and lived a lot of life in between Mizzou and Missouri Southern. I haven't been at Missouri Southern long enough to learn very many lessons about myself, but I know that I am learning to trust in God's sovereignty and to wait upon the Lord. I have learned a ton from the tigers and bears, so I guess we'll see what lessons time will bring here amongst the lions.

My name is Tina and Im a Reality TV addict

2010-04-07T10:27:00.002-06:00

Joe and I love reality television. In particular, we love reality television where we get to study people in emotional situations. Our favorite light-hearted reality television (R-TV for short) shows are NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice", Fox's "American Idol", Food Network's "Chopped", WE's "Bridezillas", and TLC's "Cake Boss".

It's the not-so-light shows that really suck us into some serious time with the tube, though. "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew", "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew", and "Sober House with Dr. Drew" (notice a pattern here) are some of our favorites along with our newest fav "16 and Pregnant". Joe and I can't help but watch these shows and cringe at the raw, hideous emotions we see presented to us. The people depicted are so lost...lost in a way that is even evident to other lost people. Take "Sex Rehab" for example. The individuals on this show are D-list celebrities (placing them on the D-list might be generous) who have entered treatment for sex addictions. Most of them eventually open up about childhood sexual abuse that is most certainly the root of their adult sexual dysfunctions. Dr. Drew Pinski is a masterful therapist, taking in all the ugly things he hears and the tragic behaviors he witnesses without breaking down in tears at the injustice of it all. He uses a listening ear, empathy, and wise questions to lead participants on a path to healing and a return to hopefulness.

Many times Joe and I watch these shows and cry. We see the lostness and the consequences of it presented in full color on our 25-inch screen and we both feel compelled to pray for the folks who are so much more than characters on a TV show, so much more than actors playing a role. What these individuals need is Jesus -- and in many cases, a whole lot more time with Dr. Drew. Why do we continue to put ourselves into emotional-harm's way by watching these sad reality shows? Because in the end we see that the folks have made progress. More often than not they end the show a little more self-aware, a little more hopeful and a little more whole than when they started.

What did the Easter Bunny bring you?

2010-04-04T18:57:00.000-06:00

What did the Easter Bunny bring you this year? Did you get candy? Maybe some jelly beans or a chocolate bunny? Perhaps you got some Peeps in your basket this year. Whatever you got this Easter, how long will the sugary sweetness fill you? A few moments? Most parents know that candy isn’t real food. Children can eat too much candy and ruin their supper, but the fullness from candy isn’t long lasting. There is no nutrition in the candy to last more than a few minutes of sugar high before the body feels hunger again. My hope for you this Easter Sunday is that you find what will truly fill you. The true reason to celebrate Easter is that Jesus died on the cross and rose again on Easter Sunday about 2000 years ago. His dying and rising were done so that we could have real life and true freedom. Jesus gives us what we need in a way that the sweet-tasting but temporary pleasures of life never could. When you fill yourself with alcohol or money or possessions or sexual pleasure or hobbies, you will find yourself always chasing after more. With those things (like with candy) you’ll be “hungry” again soon. Jesus gives us freedom from those cravings if we walk in obedience and spend daily time with him. This Easter enjoy your Peeps and jelly beans…but be sure to spend a little time thinking about Jesus and what Easter truly represents.

Meet the new Transcript Analyst

2010-03-10T17:13:00.002-06:00

For those of you who have wondered what I do while Joe is pastoring? Well, I have been mostly working to make him look good. He doesn't have a secretary so I've been filling that role for him on a volunteer basis. All the while I have been surveying the various employment websites, searching job postings here and there and everywhere, and scattering resumes and cover letters to the wind like seeds. Finally, one of those seeds has taken root and has sprouted a job offer. I am the new Transcript Analyst at the local college here in town. Think guidance counselor for college transfer students and you'll have a decent idea of what I will be doing. The job pays what it needs to and comes with a great set of benefits. And the best part? I no longer have to search job postings and send resumes!

Springtime for Miller Times

2010-03-04T09:14:00.002-06:00

Sunshine. Warmth. Sunbeams streaming through the windows. Robins taking flight. Buds becoming evident on trees. Little sprouts of spring flowers peeking through the soil. Springtime is near. I can feel it, smell it, hear it and see it all around me. The winter has been long and at times it seemed like it would never end. The first snow or two were magical and lovely. A blanket of clean, pure white covering the world made everything seem so new and untainted. But then the thermometer continued to read numbers in the teens and twenties. Goosebumps ruled where warm-fuzzies should have been. Leaving the house felt burdensome as the cold was ready to attack with frigid winds slapping me in the face. Frostbite was a ready weapon that winter wielded whenever I walked outdoors unprepared. My only defenses were bulky layers, warm soups and plenty of hot beverages. But just like Song of Solomon says "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away...for lo, the winter is past...flowers appear on the earth and the season of singing has come..." I am ready for the season of singing, ready for Springtime to woo me away from winter's chill. I'm ready, Springtime. I'm ready whenever you are!

Friends

2010-02-19T20:05:00.002-06:00

A friend loves at all times. "Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's a lord of them. And a friend will not say never and the welcome will not end..." Friends, Romans, countrymen...lend me your ear. What is it, exactly, that makes someone a friend?

I have been blessed with a lifetime of friends. The first friend I remember having was a girl named Leigh and I only saw her about twice a year when she was in town visiting her father. In kindergarten I made friends with Jana and we remained friends until middle school when she decided love for Michael Jackson was her highest priority. Michelle was my BFF (best friend forever) through junior high and beyond. Michelle was joined by another Michelle and a couple of Jennifers in high school. It was the 80's, afterall. Everyone was named Michelle and Jennifer back then.

More recently I have a clique of friends who are closer to me than sisters. They are dear, Godly women who live, laugh, cry, and love one another. Each provides a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, partnership in mischief and companionship in times of fun. I am blessed by them each. They are a gift to me.

Alphabet of Good Memories

2010-02-03T10:29:00.004-06:00

Here are 26 memories from Tina, organized alphabetically.

Anne of Greene Gables. That's Anne with an "e" (because "Ann" looks positively dreadful), but you can call me "Cordelia". When I was a kid my mother and I loved the PBS movie series based on the Anne of Green Gables books. If you watch all the movies, beginning to end, you would spend at least nine hours. It was the perfect snow day activity. I secretly believe I am a kindred spirit with Anne Shirley and to this day I still have a crush on Gilbert Blythe.
Brooklyn, NY. In the summer of 2003 I flew to New York to visit my friend who lives in Brooklyn. While there I ate a hot dog at Coney Island, "chicken" in Chinatown, and Russian perogies in Brighton Beach; walked the Brooklyn Bridge, rode the subway, met Rupert G from Hello Deli, walked along the Ed Sullivan theatre and met a cab driver who may or may not have had connections to the mob.
Columbia, MO. I lived in Columbia while pursuing my master's degree at the University of Missouri-Columbia (better known as MU or Mizzou). I fell in love with CoMo and found myself in the process. Favorite memories include: Devil's Icebox, 63 Diner, The Candy Factory, Jesse Hall, WRC/ADAPT, and lifelong friends.
December 30, 2006. My wedding day. Joe and I got married at the Gillioz Theatre in Springfield, MO -- the first wedding ever at that venue. We were even featured in the local newspaper. More importantly we had a blast that day, surrounded by friends and family, ending with "I do" to my best friend in the whole world.
Engagement. The night Joe proposed to me, he had the help of several people -- all of whom lied to some degree or another throughout that day and night. In the end, I wound up in the gymnasium at NCA where a candlelit dinner was waiting next to Joe on one knee holding a beautiful ring.
Fair Grove Heritage Reunion. My family has always been very involved in the annual craft festival in my hometown. Each year my brother is the announcer and my mom is the "boss" of the information booth. There is a unique smell and a sound that is attached to the memories of the FG Reunion. You know exactly what I'm talking about if you have ever been there.
Guacamole. My last week of work in the eye clinic at the University of Minnesota, I was treated to several going away meals and events. One of the most memorable was when Esther made chicken enchiladas for us all, along with her famous guacamole. She's the one who taught me that if you leave the avacado seed in your guacamole, it won't turn brown.
Happy Green. My favorite color. The color I painted the kitchen when I bought my first house.
Ice Storm 2007. Okay, this one borders on a terrible memory. Joe and I had been home from our honeymoon for one week when the ice storm hit. We were out on a date and while driving home we noticed that streets were dark and getting increasingly darker the closer we got to our house. When we opened the door and flicked the lightswitch, nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen for seven days as we lived with a collection of friends and family members like transients or hobos, until a good friend generously loaned us their generator and we newlyweds were able to return to our home. Our power was restored on Day 14 of the ice storm.
Joe. All of my most favorite memories involve Joe, of course.
Kodak. I love taking pictures. While I appreciate my digital camera and it's convenience, I love the purity of my good old fashioned Kodak camera. There are things you can do with a 35 mm that your digital camera can only do with the help of editing software.
Lighter fluid. When I lived in my first apartment I hosted a gathering of some singles from church. Some of the guys who came brought their BBQ grill and set it up on my small balcony. The ladies were inside chatting and all had their backs turned to the patio door except me. The scene I witnessed was unforgettable as the men used a tad too much lighter fluid and almost blew up the apartment (or at least fried off all their eyebrow hairs) when they tossed in a lit match. I don't know when I have laughed as hard as I did that day.
Malibu Barbie. My car (a Chevy Malibu) has taken me a lot of great places since I bought her in 2001.
New Covenant Academy. I worked there for six years and came away with some amazing memories and lifelong friends. Drama Lovelies, retreats, tenting, Texas Sheet Cake ("Tina Day"), caramel-covered onions, laughter, and tears.
O-Snap! I have many a fond memory of playful, sarcastic banter between my brother and I and, while he is the most verbally talented person I have ever met, I like to think I've gotten a few really great digs in over the years.
Persimmons. My grandmother was the queen of "old wives' tales". Each year she predicted the winter weather by cutting open the seed of a persimmon. The seed interiors sometimes had a spoon shaped mark others were knife shaped. I don't remember which mark meant we were in for a bad winter, though. My grandma was amazingly accurate with her predictions.
Quiznos. I had some great lunch dates with my good friend, Nancy, to Quiznos. Before me, Nancy had never tasted a Honey Bacon Club. I'd like to think that I changed her life.
Rudy. My favorite movie. Enough said.
Seattle, WA. Joe and I went to Seattle on our honeymoon and we fell in love with the city. Pike's Place Market, the original Starbucks, Port Townsend, Whidby Island, Camano Island, Space Needle, and 5-Spot.
Tina. I found out today that my name is street slang for crystal meth, a term most often used by gay men. This one isn't necessarily a good memory. Just something I will never forget.
Ugg boots. Joe and I lived in Minneapolis, MN for the better part of 2009 and while we hated the never-ending cold weather, we did fall in love with the city. The Land of 10,000 lakes provided endless opportunities for scenic drives and there were numerous adorable neighborhoods with unique shops and restaurants. Our favorite spots included Izzy's, Bad Waitress, Mickey's, and Raising Cane.
Visits from friends. I love playing tour guide. When my girlfriends made a road trip to visit me in Minneapolis I had a great time showing them around. It was just as fun when my parents flew to the twin cities to visit me later that summer. I made an itinerary of activities I knew my parents would love. They still talk about that trip. Those visits are a great memory for me, too.
Whack-a-Mole. When I was a kid I remember those rare opportunities we had to go to Chuck-e-Cheese (although the giant costumed rat freaked me out). I always thought it was a blast to play those arcade games like Whack-a-Mole, even though I had absolutely terrible hand-eye coordination. No moles were ever harmed on my watch.
X-Ray. When I was 3 years old I was in a car accident with my mom. I had a hairline skull fracture and a long laceration on my head requiring a ton of stitches. I don't remember much other than my grandpa staying with me in the emergency room. He made silly faces at me to distract me from what the doctors were doing. That is my favorite memory of Grandpa.
Yoo-ka-noo-ba (Eukanuba). As in the dog show. Something my dog, Truman, will never have a chance to win. Let's face it, he's a...dare I say it...."mutt". I know it isn't politically correct to use the word "mutt" anymore. It's considered offensive to dogs, apparently. Truman is a "mixed breed" or "terrier mix". He has provided many laughs and a lot of great memories.
Zou. As in Mizzou. I have some amazing memories of walking around the campus at the University of MO-Columbia, feeling very much like Mary Tyler Moore in that scene where she tosses her hat into the air. I love that campus and I always will. I don't care if Mizzou can't seem to buy a spot in the top 10 ranking for any sport. I will always root for "my" team. "Hooray, Hoorah, Mizzou, MIZZOU!"

Bad News all around

2010-01-30T12:32:00.000-06:00

I like current events. More importantly, I like to be informed. When things come up in conversation, I like being in the know. I used to watch the news regularly. Now I generally get my news online, checking four different news sites most days to get a more balanced view of what's happening in the world (what news producers think is worthy of coverage anyway). Lately, though, the news is, well...bad. You can't go anywhere without seeing all the Bad News there is to tell. Not only do we have the devastation of Haiti's earthquake with all the deaths, missing loved ones, and newly orphaned children -- which we can all agree is Bad News -- now we also have 7,000 prisoners who were released when their prison crumbled to the ground who are now looting much needed supplies, raping women and children living in make-shift tent cities, and snatching orphans off the streets to sell them into slavery. Seriously?! How much more Bad News do the people of Haiti need? Eighty percent of Haitians were already living at or below the poverty line surrounded by corruption and greed within their government. Now they have lost all they have and are struggling with grief of lost friends and family members all while being literally raped and pillaged. That is Bad News.

Life in the U.S. is definitely blessed, but we're not exempt from our own Bad News. Formerly beloved Leno threw CoCo under the bus. Etta James (whose "At Last" made my wedding day complete) has alzheimers. The stimulus package meant to save us all from financial ruin has really only saved us from a politically pork-free existence. Obama's approval rating is plummeting and the warm-fuzzy hopes of change in America are starting to fade. Tiger is in sex rehab. CNN should change their name to BNN...Bad News Network.

Luckily, we have some Good News, too. We live in a fallen world, which is Bad News. But our Creator sent his son to redeem it all and he has given hope to the hopeless. I can watch all the Bad News that makes me want to run and hide and know with confidence that God is sovereign over all the Bad and he wants to use it for his Good. Even the worst things I read on the internet or see on my TV can be used for the good of those that love God. Now, that is some Good News we all need to hear.

Shock, anger....acceptance

2010-01-19T09:18:00.000-06:00

This morning on NBC's "Today Show", Ann Curry interviewed a group of parents of students from a Florida university who had traveled to Haiti on a mission trip and are now trapped in the earthquake rubble of their Haitian hotel. These parents are worried about their children, many of whom have been trapped for almost a week. They believe that there is still hope for their children to be rescued and expressed anger that not enough was being done by rescuers or by the American government. Over and over they pleaded with President Obama to blanket Haiti with U.S. troops, to "take control" of the efforts in Haiti. One parent talked about what a great country the USA is and went so far as to say "there's a reason that the United States is the strongest and greatest country..." as if America's influence as a world leader should yield instant results in the face of a terrible natural disaster. Again and again they expressed that "in this day and age" we should have the technology to quickly clear rubble to free trapped individuals. Perhaps most unfortunate was the father who was angry that his child had been put "in harm's way" by the organizers of the mission trip...as if trip organizers had some fore-knowledge of the devastating earthquake and decided to go to Haiti anyway. And on and on it went.

These parents were in the midst of grief and were expressing their fears and frustrations and helplessness. NBC should not have put these parents on television. They shouldn't have broadcast these understandable, but irrational expressions of grief. The United States may be a great nation, but it doesn't give us license to "take over" anything in another country, no matter how out-of-control things appear. Haiti is its own country with its own government, corrupt and poorly run as it may be. It isn't our place to take over. It is also a small country, the bulk of which now lies in ruins, with aftershocks making all rescue and relief efforts even more challenging. There are limitations to what rescuers are able to do. Add to that the fact that Haitian hospitals were leveled along with everything else and many of their own doctors and nurses lay dead and dying along with the other Haitian nationals. International efforts can only accomplish so much in makeshift tent hospitals with limited medical supplies. Individuals who were treated initially are having secondary infections for which there is not currently enough medication. Eighty percent of the people of Haiti lives at a level of poverty that is unimaginable to most Americans. That statistic was true before the earthquake flattened all their homes and workplaces. There's not enough clean water or food. Looters are making the most of the fact that Haitian police are distracted by the overwhelming nationwide chaos. Are they a nation in need of serious help? Absolutely! But pouring U.S. troops into Haiti isn't going to lead to any quick miracles. Those "Today Show" parents are probably not going to have a happy ending to this story. We need to give financially to relief efforts in Haiti and we need to continue to pray that God's mercy would be poured out on that nation. It will take many, many years along with millions of dollars and countless hours of volunteer effort to bring Haiti back to the point of being liveable. Eventually news outlets like the "Today Show" will move on to some other news event and Haiti will be out of sight and out of mind for us comfy Americans. The discomfort in Haiti will continue long into the future. We need to pray that God's hand will be mighty in Haiti and that though this disaster has been devastating, that perhaps it will be an opening for people to come en masse to a relationship with the God who saves.

My Superhero

2010-01-16T21:56:00.000-06:00

I (Tina) periodically publish some of the cheesy or not-so-cheesy love letters I have written to Joe over the years. Since we are coming upon Valentine's season where love is in the air (or at least shades of pink and red are everywhere), it seemed appropriate to publish another such love note. This is one I wrote a couple of years ago that Joe now keeps in his Bible.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy who wore a blue t-shirt and red sweatpants, both of which were way too big for his slight frame. Around his neck, a red bath towel was worn as a cape, held around his neck with a clothespin (both of which were "borrowed" from the clothesline). This little boy had big dreams...dreams of saving the world from evil villians, rotten scoundrels and all sorts of arch-nemesis. In his dreams he could fly over cities, leap tall buildings in a single bound, stop out-of-control trains with the slightest effort of his little finger and rescue the damsel in distress. Eventually, the boy grew up and left the towel and clothespin behind along with all those superhero dreams of childhood. What he didn't realize when he married his wife is that she sees the caped hero every time he smiles at her. She sees his strength when he holds her hand tight. His superpowers are evident when he prays for her. He is her superhero and he rescued her from her distress. He's her protector and the handsome hero of her dreams."

Snow...frigid temps....teeth chattering....more snow...

2010-01-08T11:44:00.000-06:00

I love winter. Mostly I love sweaters, hats, and cute boots. And fuzzy socks that make my toes feel cozy. I love snow, too. Snow is so pure. Everything looks clean and new when covered by a fresh snowfall. Even on the darkest days everything looks freshly washed with a new covering of snow.

I remember really loving snow as a kid. We lived on a hill and the sledding around our house was amazing! Since we lived in the not-so-inhabited country on a dead-end street, we could sled on the farm road on the grand hills leading up to our neighborhood. You could really pick up some serious speed, especially in the right kind of snow. The best snows were the ones that started out wet and heavy and ended with a fluffy dusting on top. The sled runners slid nicely through the dense snow on the bottom, but if you crash landed, the fluffy snow made for a cushy landing. My dad would always go with us..."for safety" (I think he liked sledding even more than we did). He would usually bear the brunt of pulling our sled back up the big hill so we could go again. Mom would wait at home with hot cocoa with just the right amount of marshmallows on top. My feet and hands would be so cold! We would all sit by the fire, grasping our hot cocoa to warm our hands, recounting the tales of our sledding adventures.

The best thing about snow is snow days. Even as an adult. I worked in schools for ten years of my adult life. There is nothing like the joy of getting the call from someone on the snow day calling tree telling you to sleep in, enjoy the day off and be safe. That was never enough, though. I loved seeing my school's name scroll across the bottom of the television screen with all the other school closings. It makes it seem more official to see it on TV.

But....I am ready for the snow to be over. Last year, I moved to Minnesota on December 1st and it snowed. A lot. And was amazingly, hideously cold. Most of the time. We moved back to Missouri this year partly to escape the harshness of another Minnesota winter. Before I left at the end of October, Minnesota had already given me three different snowfalls. Now that I'm here, Missouri has seen fit to bring us a particularly unpleasant winter. I feel like I am in Minnesota all over again. I am ready for spring. I'm ready for the trees to start budding. I'm ready to mow my lawn. And plant flowers. And feel the warmth of sunshine. I am ready to smell honey-suckle on the breeze and go for long evening walks in the ever-lengthening days. I love the color green and I am ready to see the world turn green again.

I am thankful for all the seasons and thrilled I live in a place where I get to experience them all. I love the snows and sweaters of winter. I appreciate the activities that can only be done in the heat of summer. I love the colors that autumn trees wear. And I adore the happy green-ness of spring. What is your favorite season? Why? What do you love about it?

Image Problem

2009-12-27T15:41:00.000-06:00

We as Christians have an image problem. In 2007, about 40% of those Americans age 16-29 described themselves as outsiders to Christianity. That's about 24 million people. Just in America....an allegedly "Christian" nation. Those outsiders have some pretty strong feelings about Christians. Only 3% of them have a "good" impression of Evangelical Christians. Forty-nine percent have a bad impression of Evangelical Christians. They have good reasons why they have a bad impression:

91% say we are anti-homosexual.
87% say we are judgemental
85 call us hypocritical
75% feel we are too involved in politics
72% say we are out-of-touch with reality
78% think we are old fashioned
70% would say we are insensitive to others
68% think we are boring
64% know we are not accepting of other faiths
61% feel we are confusing

Why should they feel any different? Most (about 70%) have tried Jesus at one point or another in their life. Many, many have been hurt or disappointed by Christians they know. Most feel that Christians see them as a "target" for evangelistic efforts and don't trust that we actually care about them as fellow human beings.

We wear cheesy Christian t-shirts and put offensive statements on our church signs. We hold protest signs declaring that "God hates fags" or that "Abortion is murder". Politicians tout their faith in election years and then flaunt their dishonesty as they are wooed by lobbyists into voting for self-seeking causes. When given an opportunity to truly love others we often instead blame their situation in life on sins they shouldn't have committed. We tell people they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make right choices. We tell them just what the right choices are and when they ask "why?" we tell them "because the Bible told me so". We say we believe this or that, but our actions prove that we believe in whatever is convenient at the moment and we believe we can just repent for everything else.

I want something more...I want to be known for my genuine, unconditional love for others. I don't just want love to be convenient. I want people to know when they talk to me that I am interested in what they have to say and in who they are as people. People should want to come to a relationship with Christ because I have made it evident that Christ has changed my life for the better. I don't want to be known for how well I debate politics or how strongly I support a cause. When my life ends someday, I want to be remembered as someone who loved Jesus and loved others whole-heartedly. I've got a long way to go before I reach this goal, but I hope to spend my life working on it, practicing it until until practice (and the Holy Spirit) makes me perfect at loving others.

My church can beat up your church

2009-12-05T11:39:00.000-06:00

You sometimes see childhood fights being portrayed as one child claiming "My dad can beat up your dad", as if the dads' ability to duke it out should determine the winner of the children's fight. It makes me think of how we view our churches sometimes. We take our personal preferences or the practices we are familiar with and we judge it as "THE way church is done". Maybe you prefer hymns and think that God can only be praised the way it has been done for a few hundred years. Or maybe you think hymns are confusing and difficult to sing and you prefer singing contemporary praise music. Maybe you have deemed this the only true way to worship. Maybe it is the version of Scripture you prefer to read. King James' Version is viewed by some as the "original" version of the Bible, as if Moses, David, Paul and the others penned their tomes in King James' English. Others view KJV as outdated and only teach from NIV, ESV, NASB, NLT or any other alphabetically named version. How about denominational leanings? I agree that we all have our own understanding of Scripture and how it applies to various aspects of our faith walk. Denominations are handy for helping us come together with others who understand Scripture the same way we do. But should we feel it is "us" versus "them"? Does Jesus really care if this group believes in certain gifts of the Spirit and the other group doesn't? Or how we baptize people? Doesn't Jesus have bigger issues on His mind? Like whether or not we have an authentic relationship with Him? Or whether or not people are dying and falling into eternal separation from Him?

The question this begs is "why?" Why do we feel the need to divide ourselves up along this line or that? Why do we feel that it's "us" versus "them"? Shouldn't we all be "us" together, united against a world full of lost souls dying without a savior? Couldn't our attention be better spent working together to end world hunger, cease the exploitation of the poor, end human trafficking, and, most importantly, to introduce the world to the hope we have through Christ? Jesus wasn't holding a picket sign damning the abortionist or homosexual who wants to wed. He didn't blame the poor for their plight. He came to feed the hungry, heal the sick, make the blind to see, make the lame to walk, and to bring us all into the inheritance of the Kingdom. He chose to give Himself away so that we could have an unhindered relationship to the Father. In my reading of Scripture I have never seen that Christ died for those who read a certain version of the Bible or for a certain denomination of believers. The worship style we prefer isn't going to get us to Heaven. Jesus cares about these things because of the heart that is behind them. He wants us to want to spend time with Him in whatever way is easiest or most effective for us. If that is our heart or motive then I am certain Jesus is all for it. However, if we are using these things to divide ourselves up and cast judgement on others, then I believe we have missed a big part of what Christ wants for us all, which is unity in Him.

Update with all the details...FINALLY!

2009-11-25T09:43:00.000-06:00

Friends, Family Members and anyone who stumbled accidentally across this blog -- We know you have been waiting for the official update on the lives of Joe and Tina. We've given vague updates with information that could have been interpreted in any number of ways. Sorry for the lack of precise information but things were up in the air for a while followed by a period of time where we knew the details but weren't at liberty to share them openly with all of internetdom. (Yes, I realize that is not a real word). Here are the details and we hope you'll celebrate with us as you read.

We've been on a crazy journey for the past couple of years. We were pursuing God's will and the path that led us down went hither and yon, starting with a desire to go on staff with Crusade, then a possibility at New Covenant, followed by pastoral positions in Memphis, Natchez and beyond, leading us to Youthworks! in Minneapolis and now to our current opportunity. While all the options seemed unrelated and at times crazy, they were all similar -- all the positions involved shepherding others. This is perhaps Joe's strongest area of gifting. We finally found a permanent home for Joe's shepherding gifts, a place where he can guide and disciple a congregation of people. In late August or very early September as Joe was moving from Minnesota with all of our belongings, he received a call about a pastor position open in the Joplin area. The church had lost their pastor and they were looking to fill the position quickly. Their "quickly" and ours was perhaps a little different because we didn't receive final word until mid-November after an interview process that involved a phone interview and three in-person interviews, a background check, psychological evaluation and church-planting profile.

After all the steps and searching, though, we are finally able to announce to the world that Joe will be the new senior pastor at Pathways UMC which is currently meeting in Alba, MO with plans to build in Oronogo, MO (both of which are north of Joplin). The church is about seven years old and currently has about 100 - 125 people in attendance. It is a contemporary church with a strong value placed on creativity in worship and arts. The creative arts team changes the decor and layout of the sanctuary for each sermon series. In a recent series titled "Go Fish" the sanctuary was transformed into a boat dock where the "pulpit" was in a boat. The current theme "D.R.I.V.E." has a racetrack running down the aisle of the sanctuary. We were able to meet the leadership team and see the church last night (Tuesday the 24th) and we were very excited about what we saw and the leaders we met seem amazing.

For those of you who have been following our story and praying for us along the way, thank you! We could feel your prayers and God blessed us even in the midst of our wandering. We are excited about the door God has opened and we would love to have you join us for worship if you are able. More updates and pictures will follow!

Updates told as an analogy

2009-10-28T15:13:00.000-06:00

For those of you who have been following the life and times of Tina and Joe, you are well aware of the long and windy road that we've been traveling down. In a recent blog post I went so far as to discuss this path and my hopes for it becoming straight within the near future. Well, we're there. We have finally made it to the straight portion of our drive. Our life has been like a trip to an amusement park traveling cross-country by car. Sometimes the road was rough and the path was unclear. Sometimes there were slow-downs due to highway construction or accidents on the path ahead of us. Other times there was fog and we couldn't even tell if we were still on the road, much less where the road was leading. But we've finally come to the place in the drive where we can see the peaks of the roller coasters on the horizon. We're still a decent distance from our destination but we can see it on the horizon and we know we'll be there soon. Once we arrive we are aware that the going will be sometimes exciting and sometimes scary. There will be ups and downs on our roller coaster life. We'll still face times of waiting that may seem longer than we want to wait. The roller coaster we get in may not always meet up to our expectations for speed or thrill. There will be times when we're ready go pack it up and go back home and there will be other times when we are more than ready to get back on the roller coaster for another ride. I'm excited by where the road is leading and I'm both scared and enthusiastic to start the adventure ahead. But the best news of all is that we finally know where we're headed and we can see it on the road in front of us at last. For those of you who have been praying for our "travels", THANK YOU. We appreciate your prayers, love and support more than you can possibly know. Once we make it to our destination and pile out of our car I'll update you in something more than an analogy. For now, please know that your prayers are being answered and we've got quite an adventure in store for us!

Saying "Goodbye"

2009-10-22T08:47:00.000-06:00

Today (October 22, 2009) is my last day as a Minnesotan. Those of you who have been following along in our little story know that we're in transition. Joe has already moved to Missouri and I stayed behind for a little extra paycheck while I gave my official notice at the University of Minnesota. It is interesting as I think about my nine months here at this job and I must say that I feel utterly appreciated and cared for as an employee at my current workplace. And I have since the beginning. My bosses, two ophthalmology specialists, have regularly shown or spoken their appreciation. And not just to me directly. I hear from others that my bosses have said something kind about me or my work. This week has been a week of going away celebration in my office. On Monday my two doctors ordered pizza for the entire department. Wednesday my co-worker made enchiladas for everyone (partly a business endeavor, partly to celebrate me). Today my co-workers are taking me to my favorite local restaurant, Raising Cane's. This afternoon the department is hosting a going away dessert event, complete with chocolate covered strawberries and other desserts. I do not know if everyone here is shown the same level of appreciation. I personally don't know that I have done anything so remarkable that I deserve such celebration. I am glad, though, to have had such a welcoming, loving workplace during my time in Minnesota. This year of Joe traveling was tough and I know that my co-workers and bosses made it much easier to be in Minnesota on my own. It will be tough leaving such a loving environment behind and I hope that I can take their behavior toward me as an example of how I should treat others in my next work environment.

Watch Out for Curves!

2009-10-01T09:19:00.000-06:00

I was reading some of the "100 most read" verses on http://www.biblegateway.com/ and came across Prov 3:6: "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight". It occured to me, though, that my paths have not seemed so straight of late. My life feels much more like the famous Lombard Street in San Francisco, CA. This street is touted as the most curvy street in America and for good reason. As it goes down hill it has a series of tight corners. Driving down it is a very touristy experience and I cannot imagine what the homeowners think. Besides being a fun attraction, it is also a metaphor for how I have felt in the last year. Joe and I have meandered hither and yon with the path taking is one direction and then another and then another on our quest to find where God would have us settle. Go on staff with Crusade? No. Teach Bible at NCA? Nope. Pastoring a church in Memphis or Natchez? Not. Planting a church in Oklahoma? Nyet. Pastoring a church in Texas or Kentucky or Roland, OK? Not a chance. Planting a satellite church in Marshfield? No way. Are there any other ways for God to say "no" to us? Now we are pursuing another church opportunity, a door that opened unexpectedly and one which pursued us. We've been waiting on an answer for this opportunity since late August or early September. I'm praying that Proverbs 3:6 is true for us in this opportunity, that God is in the process of making our path straight. I'm ready to hit the road and drive directly into the next stage of our lives. No sharp corners. No potholes. No detours. Just a straight path into God's will for us. To quote Tom Cochran/Rascall Flatts, "Life is a Highway...." Hopefully you can honk and wave as you see me speeding past you on life's highway.

'Cuz I'm a wanderer, yes I'm a wanderer...

2009-09-17T09:42:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks have been....interesting. Joe moved with our stuff back to Missouri because our landlord found someone to take over our lease a bit earlier than we really needed them to. Oh well. We're happy that we won't be moving all our earthly possessions in December in Minnesota. Again. But it has left Joe and me as wanderers, transients who are technically homeless. Joe has stayed with a collection of friends in Springfield while I have taken temporary shelter in the home of some friends here in the Twin Cities. We're both tired of not living together. I miss my husband, my dog and my stuff. I know its just stuff and I shouldn't miss it, but I do. I miss being able to cook and knowing that my bowl that I use for this is just as available as the knife I use for that or the pan I use for the other thing.

This past Sunday our pastor taught about the Israelites and their time of wandering for 40 years. God, please don't let my wandering stretch that long. Anywho, Pastor Andy read the passage from Numbers 11 where the Israelites began to complain about only having manna, manna and more manna to eat. They began to grumble about all the luxuries they had in Egypt with an "if only we had stayed in Egypt our live would be so great" approach toward the exodus. I had always read that passage (and the other passages where the Israelites complain about the very same God who they just saw perform something unbelievably amazing like the Red Sea parting) and thought "How dumb must those Israelites have been?" I typically would read those passages with arrogance that I would never be as stiff-necked as those lousy Israelites were. Right. Uh, didn't I just catch myself complaining about this or that...in light of God's abundant provision for me? I have a comfy bed, plenty to eat, lots of clothes to wear, a husband, family and friends who love and care for me, a job that pays my bills....and I have the audacity to complain that God's timing in my circumstances leaves something to be desired? That God isn't doing for me what I think He ought to? That all I have to eat is manna, manna and more manna and where the heck is my cheeseburger?

The pastor made a great point that the Israelite wandering was a physical, tangible event in history as they literally wandered in the desert while waiting to enter the Promised Land. But, he said, we too are in a period of wandering. Our "promised land" is Heaven, and earth just doesn't quite match up to what we know is waiting for us. We try and try to make earth more Heaven-like, but it will never work. We are surrounded by sin, greed, corruption, dishonesty, disharmony...and that's just in the Church. All around we are faced with evidence that Heaven-on-earth is impossible for us to achieve with human hands. It should be no surprise when bad things happen in this world. Instead, I should be all the more thankful when blessings come my way, because I certainly don't deserve them. So, in this period of wandering that feels so long to my human little mind, I will praise God for being sovereign and choosing something far better for me than I know to choose for myself. And I will wait for Him to deliver it.

Hmmmmmm?

2009-09-05T09:14:00.001-06:00

I have a long list of questions I hope to ask the Lord someday. I'm sure I won't immediately start grilling him when I arrive at the "Pearly Gates". But, we have an eternity together right? So I'm sure at some point I'll have a chance to ask my questions. Some of the questions are:

Eve? What was she thinking?
How did creation really happen? Was it seven literal days or seven time periods?
What about the dinosaurs? When were they really here and what really happened to them?
The Universe -- was that made just for our pleasure? Or was it meant to confound us and keep us guessing?
Do dogs (animals in general, actually) have souls? Because I swear Truman knows when he is doing the wrong thing and he sometimes seems to choose to misbehave anyway.
Mosquitos, ticks, chiggers, sand fleas, regular fleas....their purpose is what exactly?
What is the appendix really supposed to do? Same question for tonsils.
Was chocolate God's special gift to us?
Why do women who should never have babies get pregnant so easily (and often repeatedly) when there are so many amazing women who would be amazing mom's that struggle with fertility?
Revelation. Did God mean us to focus so heavily on preparing for "end times" when men and women are missing the point of God's love in the whole rest of Scripture?
What would things have looked like on Earth in 2009 if Eve hadn't taken that bite?

Another year older, another year wiser?

2009-08-27T09:51:00.000-06:00

August 27 is my (Tina) birthday. Always has been. Not if you ask my family members, particularly any family member who has ever compiled a family history or family geneology tree. Even my mother got my birthday wrong on the family geneology list she compiled one year. My birthday has been August 6, August 12 and August 17 or 19. Perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that according to the doctors, I was supposed to be born on August 8. I was 19 days late. Seeing that I was born at 7 pounds and a handful of ounces, I was probably right on time. Instead of accusing the doctor of being wrong, I'll continue to claim I was 19 days late. So here we are a "few" years after that fateful day back in the 1970's and I'm celebrating another birthday. Another year older. Supposedly, another year wiser. Shouldn't I feel wiser? There are a few things I have learned so far in life that might count as wisdom. I will include them here for the benefit of those young whipper-snappers who haven't made it as far in life as me.

Glue eating is not a habit that wins long-term (or even short-term) approval from others.
Accepting some dares is really, really not worth it.
The people we strive to be friends with when we are young are not the friends we usually end up keeping for a lifetime. The "popular" kids were mostly just popular for outward appearance. The kids with a more attractive inward appearance were hands-down the better friends to have. I wish I had learned that lesson sooner.
Typing class is one of the greatest classes to pay attention to in junior high or high school. I have never personally needed to know the order of the presidents and their VP's, but learning how to type has gotten me far in life.
Parallel parking is truly a life skill.
Ignorance is bliss when it comes to food, but not with politics.
A great boss can make a terrible job bearable. A terrible boss can make even the most amazing job unbearable.

A few things I still haven't learned that maybe I'll figure out before my next birthday:

What do I want to be when I grow up?
How do I vote my conscious when all the candidates are "politicians"?
How do I raise my future kids to be Christians who truly reflect Christ?
How do I live in this world without constantly craving all the things I see around me -- the expensive house, the great car, the amazing vacations, new clothes, etc.
What do I need to do to be the kind of person who consistently blesses, encourages, exhorts and generously gives to my friends and family members?
What do I need to do in the coming year to be more pleasing to God than to the world around me?

Too many questions makes my brain hurt. A hurting brain is no way to celebrate my birthday, so I will tackle these questions on a non-birthday kind of day.

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me...

2009-08-07T20:47:00.000-06:00

Today a special delivery was made to my office, a lovely arrangement of Gerber daisies in various colors. Joe was celebrating the fact that his Youthworks! summer will be ending in a few short days and he would be returning home to his awaiting bride. He knows Gerber daisies are my favorite, the happiest of all the flowers in my opinion. His gift was thoughtful -- a much needed reminder of his love and affection after a too-long summer of him being far from home. It was one of the many ways he shows me his love through both word and deed.

I don't need the old "he loves me, he loves me not" test of daisies, because I already know Joe loves me without a shadow of a doubt. He loves me when he speaks tender words in my ear at bedtime and when he prays for me. He loves me when he does the dishes so that I don't have to do my least favorite chore. He loves me when he irons my pants when I'm in danger of running late for work and when he makes a special trip to the one grocery store in town that carries my favorite ice cream. He loves me when he mails me love notes because he knows I love getting "real" mail. He loves me when he wipes away my tears, when he laughs at my silly jokes, when he makes yum sounds at my cooking, and when he compliments me in front of his friends. He loves me and I don't ever have to worry about which petal will be the last one on the daisy.

Encouragement

2009-08-04T15:06:00.000-06:00

I have some friends who are going through a bit of a discouraging patch right now and it seemed a good time to write a note of encouragement.

We serve a God who is sovereign, who created the Universe and all that is in it; who is big enough to form the planets and yet personal enough to understand our little hopes, dreams, joys and sorrows. Our God is our Father, friend, counselor, light, rock, hope, salvation, deliverer, teacher, creator, King, Lord, and so much more than our tiny human-sized brains can comprehend. He hears us when we cry, rejoices with His Heavenly Host when we come to Him, delivers us from evil, walks beside us, lives within us and knows our deepest, unspoken needs. He makes our path straight, has a plan to prosper and not to harm us, desires to give us a hope and a future, and sent His one and only Son to be our free gift of salvation. In the moments when we feel alone, He is there. When we are hurting, He knows our hurt and has even experienced it Himself. There is nothing He does not understand and no event occurs without His notice. When it seems like the world is getting the best of us and evil is winning the fight, our God is mighty and is battling on our behalf to win the war for us. Do not be discouraged or consumed by worry, because OUR GOD IS A CONSUMING FIRE. Be consumed by Him. Let His grace and Truth surround you. Let Him be your stronghold and deliverer. Let Him fight for you. Live, truly LIVE in the amazing, awe-inspiring, sacrificial, fatherly love that God is pouring out on His child -- YOU.

Some much needed fluff

2009-07-26T19:58:00.000-06:00

The last few blog posts have been weighty, heavy topics full of depth. It's time to interject some fluff to lighten things up. So, our topic for today's blog is Tina and Joe's top 10 favorite movies.

Tina's favorites:
10. Dan in Real Life -- a great love story featuring a wonderfully quirky family that I wanted to be adopted into.
9. Sense and Sensibility -- such a classic story and I love, love, love Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant's pairing in this movie.
8. Sixteen Candles -- quirky, kooky 80's movie gold.
7. Two Weeks Notice -- I just love that scene where they're eating and he takes her beets and she takes his garnish. And he gives her his ice. All without having to say anything to each other. They just knew each other's tastes that well. And the RV scene is near and dear to my heart.
6. Dirty Dancing -- I know, I know. My mother would be so disappointed. But every time TBS shows it, I can't resist watching.
5. Notting Hill -- mostly I love the soundtrack, but I also adore the ending in the park.
4. Return to Me -- falling in love to tune of Sinatra music, while eating Irish-Italian food and getting a heart transplant. What more is there to life than that? Plus, Bonnie Hunt is quite possibly the funniest person on earth and she wrote and produced this movie with the help of some of her closest friends.
3. Elizabethtown -- a lovely little love story involving falling in love on the phone and a cross-country road trip (like Joe and me).
2. Rudy -- who isn't inspired by this classic feel-good story? It makes me want to take on the impossible.
1. You've Got Mail -- two words: Meg and Tom. Enough said. Plus the soundtrack is fantastic.

Joe's favorites:

10. Spiderman -- no deep answer, just good superhero action.
9. Dan in Real Life -- classic family tale.
8. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom -- who doesn't want to be Harrison Ford. Be honest with yourself, you want to be him, too. Even some of you ladies.
7. The Matrix -- mainly the religious themes and fun rhetoric.
6. Twister -- the movie, not the game. I love the connection between this film and "The Shining".
5. Lord of the Rings -- classic good vs. evil adventure story. Plus, who doesn't love Hobbits?
4. X-Men -- good old fashion butt kicking.
3. Goonies -- classic childhood adventure. I want to be a Goonie.
2. Braveheart -- because it led me to Jesus. Well, that and the Holy Spirit. The sacrifice theme made me really think about my own life and how worthless it really was.
1. Elizabethtown -- I just love the redemption theme and the layers of relationship that are happening through the whole movie.

Lesson's from Saul?

2009-07-11T07:44:00.000-06:00

A few days ago I posed the question on Facebook: Does power corrupt people or do people who are already corrupt tend to rise to positions of power. It seems like many of our leaders (at work, in politics, etc.) start out as seemingly nice folks until they rise to positions of power where they often get caught up in deception, corruption, greed, and scandal. So it begs a "chicken or the egg" type question of which came first, the corruption or the power.

I have been reading 1 Samuel recently. Not for any particular reason other than I had never read it in its entirety. I was intrigued by Saul's story. I had always heard the portions of 1 Samuel where Saul was bent on killing David, but his son Jonathan time and again helped David escape. This story was generally taught as a lesson in brotherly love. I always saw Saul as the "bad guy", the antagonist of the story. Upon reading Saul's whole story, though, I see a more full picture emerge, one that eerily resembles leaders I have witnessed in my own life.

Saul's sad tale starts with Samuel, the priest and judge. Samuel's story is pretty interesting too, since he was the child Hannah had prayed fervently for years for God to give her and the same child she gave back to God when he was old enough to study under the priest. Samuel had been a godly, wise leader of the people of Israel but as an old man was unable to enter retirement because his own sons weren't qualified to take on the job. The people were anxious to have a leader who could compete with the secular leaders around them and demanded a king to take the lead. Their demands for a king were based in fear. They didn't believe God could protect and provide for them against nations like the Philistines and the Israelites felt that a king was the answer. Saul was a Jewish man of standing in the community who was also physically dominant. He was actually taller than everyone else. His reign started out well enough and Saul was God's annointed choice. As time wore on, though, things started to change. He started to deviate from God's plans and commands. When the pressure was on, Saul started to become paranoid and defensive, covering his tracks with deception. It was in his disobedience that God began raising up a replacement, a man after God's own heart. David. This is where we get into the whole David vs. Goliath story. Once David was introduced on the scene, Saul's paranoia became increasingly evident and he began doing whatever it took to squelch the threats to his power. Including attempted murder.

The question remains: Was Saul corrupt when things began? Or did the position of power corrupt him? I suppose that having a king lead Israel instead of a judge was outside God's perfect plan. Perhaps the whole thing was doomed from the start. Other than being taller than everyone else, we have no reason to distrust Saul's upbringing or character. The case could be made that the position of power corrupted him, that he let his successes go to his head and that he took the credit for the successes God handed him. Thus his downfall.

In my opinion, I think that many who rise to positions of power have common personality characteristics. They tend to be assertive, outgoing, decisive, influential/charasmatic types who tend to always get placed as the leaders of the activities or groups of which they are part. People are naturally drawn to them, want to emulate them. I think for that particular personality type, the negatives tend to include aggression, risk taking, poor team skills, being overly emotion-driven, hair-trigger actions/decisions and not being logical or analytical enough. When they rise to positions of power over others it seems that many of these negative qualities aren't kept in check because no one provides accountability for them anymore. Eventually these qualities can run amok and these leaders are caught up in the fruits of their actions, including lies, paranoia, scandal, and maybe even doing whatever it takes to get rid of those who are a threat to their power.

Maybe it doesn't matter which came first, the power or the corruption. It is the fruit of the leader that are important. We as Christians are called to demand much of ourselves, to be like Christ himself. If we are in a position of authority over others we are called to an even higher standard and will be judged more harshly for it. I do know that I don't serve these earthly leaders. I serve the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the leader of all my earthly leaders and He is in control, even in the moments when earthly leaders, like Saul, are embroiled in madness and seem to be getting away with murder. Praise God for being sovereign!

MJ, Farrah, Ed and the guy from American Express commercials

2009-07-04T10:32:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine said she had been waiting all week to see what I might say in my blog regarding the recent deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. I had considered writing something about it, but hadn't known what I even thought much less how I would put those thoughts into writing without offending anyone. After thinking about my friend's request, though, I do have some thoughts and I don't care how controversial it might seem.

No matter what you thought of Michael Jackson, no matter how much you may have loved him as an artist or hated him for being a potential child molester, his death is tragic. Here was a 50 year old man whose father sold him into slavery at the tender age of five. He was a child and was forced into the limelight. Instead of playing, learning and growing with others his age, he was thrust into the spotlight where he kanoodled with the rich and famous and was made to imagine he was somehow more important than anyone else. Was his talent real? Certainly. No one can hear "ABC's" without noticing the amazing vocal performance of young Michael.

But was our enjoyment of his talent worth the loss of his entire childhood? Was it worth creating for him a life that became increasingly unbearable? As time wore on in his career, the wounds from the loss of his childhood became increasingly evident. He remained childlike in his behavior and in his expectations from others. He was naive enough to believe that he could have normal childhood friendships with children even as an adult in his 30s and 40s. He even created a child's dream home in the Neverland Ranch. His desire for a childhood led to very real investigations and legal action because his actions reeked of pedophilia. He was also childlike in his spending. He treated money the way any child would, by buying up whatever struck his fancy. In the same way a child would overspend in a candy shop, Michael spent on extravagant gifts for himself including tigers, a monkey and a full-size amusement park. His childlike "investments" have led to financial ruin.

Perhaps worse, the paparazzi and throngs of adoring fans followed him everywhere he went for the vast majority of his life. There was no escaping who he was. He was Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. The media feverishly ate up everything he did, every move he made. Who could live under that kind of never-ending scrutiny and not come away looking like a freak?

The question Michael's life and death raises for me as I ponder it is this: Why do I think I deserve access to famous people? Why does their career make them less human than me? Why do I deserve rights to privacy and pursuit of happiness, but their career choice forfeits those basic freedoms? I enjoy the musical talents of those I hear on the radio or see in concert. I love a good movie or TV show to inform or entertain me. My life is enhanced by the talents of those who have chosen public careers. But why should their chosen career take away the rights to live their off-stage lives with some modicum of peace and privacy? Shouldn't Britney Spears be allowed to take her children to the grocery store without worry that the paparazzi will block her access to the store entrance or back into her own car? Why can't Jennifer Anniston go to the gym or the beach without worry that unflattering photos will show up in a spread titled "Stars Without Makeup" or "Stars With Cellulite". If photographers and others hounded my every move or showed up on my doorstep, I as a free citizen would have the right to phone 911 and report harassment. Why don't my favorite actors or musicians have the same rights?

It also makes me ask why we all feel the need to rip apart famous folks who happen to be struggling. Many of our favorite child stars turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their problems...not unlike many of our own teenagers in "real" life. Shouldn't they be given the same grace that is afforded our own sons and daughters when they face personal struggles? Or take struggling marriages? Why do we almost root for celebrity marriages to fail so we can be entertained? I think of Jon and Kate Gosselin of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" fame. What couple with eight young children wouldn't struggle to maintain a healthy marriage relationship? You can't blame them for signing up for a reality show to help keep their heads afloat financially. How else would they have money for Kate to be a stay-at-home mom or money to build a very large home with plenty of land for eight children to run and play? How do you expect them to pay for eight sets of everything, including braces, cars and college? TLC offered them something that would take care of their financial needs in a way that nothing else could without breaking the law. Now that their marriage is ending due to the stress of eight children plus paparazzi, why are we celebrating it by buying US and People magazines and reading all the internet hype? Shouldn't we instead mourn that eight young children are now going to be a statistic of divorce? Shouldn't we allow them privacy to grieve the loss of this marriage?

Am I planning to visit Neverland Ranch to mourn MJ's loss? Never. Other than the music he made with the Jackson 5, I didn't really care for him as an artist, even at the height of his career. Honestly, I am more than a little frustrated that the news media is treating his death with such intensity. Many have made comments that indicate that MJ's death is somehow so iconic and world-changing that we might never truly get over his loss. I think too much is being made of his life and his death. I would far rather mourn the loss of Farrah Fawcett who fought valianty against such a terrible disease. Even better, I would far rather celebrate the lives of people who have truly made an impact on others, like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa. And I plan to celebrate those lives without the help of paparazzi or tabloids.

He's Just Not That Into This Movie

2009-06-14T19:18:00.000-06:00

For those of you who don't know me (Tina) well, you may not know that I was single until the age of 32 when I met Joe. I guess I was technically single until age 33 because that's when we got married. Back in the day, someone bought me the book "He's Just Not That Into You". I don't know if the giver thought I specifically needed the advice the book contained or if she just thought it was a good read for any and all single gals like myself. The book, while not entirely G-rated, is full of worthy advice for some of the things women tend to do in dating. The gyst of the book is that women should not waste their time, effort or emotional energy on men who don't really care about them. If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you. If he's not marrying you, he's just not that into you. You get the point. In essence, the book says that a man who likes you will let you know he likes you. He'll call because he wants to talk to you. Often. He'll take you on dates, do romantic gestures and show physical affection because he enjoys your company, wants to make you happy and generally because you make him happy.

Tonight I watched the movie based on the book. The message the movie was mostly close to the book, but at times it appeared to give the message that married men are cheaters or otherwise selfish oafs. The movie occasionally seemed to say that women should settle for less than they deserve, less than the best. It got me thinking about what we are taught as little girls or not-so-little girls when we enter adulthood. We grow up seeing Cinderella get the prince, the beast turns into the charming prince, the prince rescues Rapunzel from the tower, Ariel gets new legs and a prince, Sleeping Beauty gets a dreamy alarm clock (who happens to be a prince)...see the pattern? We grow up and shed the children's movies in turn for the "romantic comedy" (aka "chick flick") where we learn that we can write a letter and someone from across country will feel compelled to meet us at the top of the Empire State Building where we will find love at first sight. Or we learn that the dreamy-looking guy who we're just friends with will eventually realize he's as in love with us as we are in love with him and eventually our eyes will meet from across a crowded room (or park or cemetary or wedding) and we'll realize we're in love. All sorts of unhealthy relationships can lead to ultimate relational bliss if only we have a meaningful, romantic glance that eventually leads to a kiss timed with the appropriate music. We grow up waiting for a fairy tale (or more bluntly, a lie) to come true. When real relationships find us we don't recognize them because it doesn't fit the picture we've come to believe is truth. We come to think that we need to accept all manner of bad behavior because we think it means he might eventually have that moment of romantic realization that we are "the one".

While the authors of "He's Just Not That Into You" aren't Christians by a long stretch of the imagination, they do paint a picture that fits with what Godly men ought to do in relationships. While I realize not all men are like Joe and not all relationships are like our relationship. However, women should hold out for the BEST. God's best. That may mean waiting until your 30 or 40 years old. But if you are seeking God's will and seeking a man who has the character of God, you do not need to worry about whether or not he will call because a Godly man won't want to lead you on, won't want to hurt your feelings by playing games with your tender emotions. He'll call because he said he would call. He'll spend time with you because he wants to get to know you, wants to spend time with you. He will marry you if it is God's will. If not, he will let you know that, too.

Joe and I were set up on a blind date. We could have met a bunch of different times over the years, including when we lived in the same apartment complex during the same time period back before he knew Jesus. He wasn't the man he is now during any of those times we could have met along the way. God was still working on him. And on me. We were introduced by mutual friends who knew us both well and knew that we had characteristics that would be well matched together. They got my permission for the set up and they gave him my phone number. He didn't wait long to call. At the close of that first great phone call, he let me know when he would call next. And he did call when he said he would. Each time we ended a phone call or date he ended it with a promise of when we would talk again in the future. Each time he was true to his word. I never had to wonder when he would call. I never had to wonder if he was interested. He showed it clearly through his words and actions. We spent lots of time getting to know each other superficially at first and then more deeply. We had four dates before he left for a Youthworks summer. The relationship had not progressed passed just barely dating, but we both knew we wanted to keep getting to know each other. We spent the summer talking on the phone while he drove between ministry sites. By the end of the summer we were talking as many as seven consecutive hours at a time. He bought me a plane ticket and we made a plan for me to join him at the end of the summer to drive home from Pennsylvania. We turned it into an adventure, which turned out to be the first of many such adventures in our life together.

The great thing about my relationship with Joe is that he was absolutely, unquestionably the man God had selected for me. Somewhere along the way in my singleness, long before meeting Joe, I wrote a list in my journal of all the qualities I wanted in my future husband. I think there were 25 characteristics in all. Along the way as a single girl, people would tell me my standards were just too high, that I would have to lower my standards if I wanted to get a husband. I didn't think lowering my standards was necessary, even though I sometimes worried that they were right. God provided me with Joe who was and is all 25 qualities and more. To my single friends out there who are worried that they should settle so that "happily ever after" can find them, I urge you to keep holding out for God's very best. I think I speak for Joe here too in saying that God's best is totally worth the wait, even if it doesn't resemble a fairy tale, romantic comedy or any of the pictures in your head.

Things I've learned about myself in the past year...

2009-05-28T20:45:00.001-06:00

For those of you who regularly follow the blog, you probably see a lot of fluff. Stories about childhood or dreams, lists of favorites. I'm sure it is entertaining enough, but where is the depth? This blog doesn't do depth very often. So, I decided to reflect and put the product of my introspection in writing for the world to see. Here are the things I have learned about myself in the past 18 months or so.

First of all, I have learned just how impatient I am. I knew God was working on teaching me patience when He waited 32 years to introduce me to the husband I had been praying, no BEGGING God to give me. I thought I had mastered it when I gave up dating and decided to wait on God to wow me (which He did...Joe is all 25 items on "the List"). And then Joe and I applied to go on staff with Campus Crusade and then we went through plans B - E to make it to Minneapolis. In winter. The worst winter they've had in a long time. Are you kidding me? Okay, so I am impatient. And I'm kind of a brat about it. If I'm God's adopted daughter then I'm his really spoiled rotten, whiny brat of a daughter.

Second thing I have learned about myself: I am great at big ideas and starting new, creative projects. But I'm not great at finishing them. I tend to fizzle when the new, grand scheme gets tough to carry out. Or I get bored. So bored I won't even finish this paragraph.

The brutal Minnesota winter taught me that if given a choice between cold and hot, I'd rather be hot. I used to say I'd rather be cold. I used to say how much I LOVE sweaters. My logic was that you could always wear more layers. Which is true. But Minnesota taught me that the cold can be insidious and unescapable. After four or five months of goose bumps (underneath three layers of clothing) I'm tired of being cold. I'm ready to sweat. Bring it on. I'm ready for it...I've got deodorant.

Next, I have learned that I'm not nearly as independent and self-sufficient as I thought I was. For the first 32 years of my life my favorite story about my childhood is that my first sentence was "I do it!" My parents "lovingly" recall the many times I shrugged off help or instruction as a child, opting instead to figure it out for myself in yet another fit of independence. I wasn't rebellious. I was stubborn. Now that I am blissfully wed to my best friend in the world, I'm not as independent as I thought I was. He is gone for the too-long Youthworks summer and I'm once again living the life of independence. Just me, myself and my dog making it in this great big crazy world. But I don't want to do it myself anymore. I want Joe to be by my side while I figure it out for myself. I want him to be my partner in crime. I guess independence is no longer my middle name.

I have also learned that I am more of a feeler than the Myers-Briggs gave me credit for. I have cried more in the past 18 months than in my whole life before that. It doesn't even have to be crying about real life, either. I cry at Hallmark commercials. I used to laugh at people who cried at Hallmark commercials.

The greatest thing I have learned about myself is that I am not that important. I sometimes wish I was important, that I was the person whose opinion was sought by the masses. But, I'm not that important and that's pretty okay. I'm very important to my husband and maybe even my dog. I think my friends and family love me. More importantly, my Father/Creator/Savior loves me. And that's pretty great. I guess I don't need much more than that. I'm sure I've learned more than that, but my fingers are tired from typing all day.

Weird Dreams

2009-05-09T18:00:00.000-06:00

Several days this week I have awoken from strange dreams. They are all really odd topics and not at all like real life. Wednesday morning I woke up from being "Tina the tough girl" fighting off the bad guys. In the dream I was at my parents' house and someone was trying to break in. I called 911 only to have the Sheriff answer and tell me that no one was available to fight my crime. I told him "This is ridiculous! Well, I'll just take care of it myself! *click*". I then motioned for the robbers in a "come-and-get-it" way and mouthed "Bring It". Then I proceeded to man-handle them into submission. The next morning I dreamed that I was at a tanning salon where people were in tanning beds fully clothed. It made me think about my dream life.

When I was younger I dreamed about tornadoes. A lot. I would estimate that I dreamed about tornadoes on average once every two weeks. The tornadoes almost never got me. I was generally safe as a kitten. I assumed for years that the tornado dreams were just a by-product of a deeply held fear of storms. At some point in late high school, though, I had an epiphany about the dreams. I wasn't just dreaming about tornadoes, I was dreaming about warning others to get to safety. And no one would listen. Time and time again in these dreams I would spend my time begging people to heed my call to safety and each time it was as though my words had never been spoken. It was then that I realized the dreams had nothing to do with fear of tornadoes, but rather a fear of being ignored. The "Wizard of Oz" lost all power over me from that day forward. I can now watch the movie "Twister" without breaking a sweat.

I also frequently dreamed about looking for bathrooms growing up. Looking for relief was a regular theme in my dream life. Even if I was dreaming about something else, the underlying activity usually also included looking for a bathroom that was suitable. Generally I might find a restroom with no doors or with walls that allowed even midgets the ability to peer over into my stall. In some dreams, the bathroom was so filthy or unsafe that I couldn't bring mysef to go or maybe it would be a bathroom stall that required the user to do their "business" in a receptacle other than a toilet. In any event, the dream would continue on with me needing to use the restroom. Of course, in real life I had to use the restroom and it was just infiltrating my dream life. I consider myself lucky all these years that my dream self never found a functional toilet to use because I am convinced that it would have unleashed an embarassing and grotesque crossover into reality. In my bed. Yuck.

I read somewhere that our dreams don't mean anything, that researchers think dreams are just our brains firing off a string of unrelated memories and that we try to string those miscellaneous thoughts together into a reasonable plot. I think this might be true sometimes. The tornado dreams convinced me that the random memory theory of dreams isn't entirely true. Once I figured out the pattern of the tornado dreams and what they meant, the dreams stopped completely. Perhaps we need dreams to help us sort through the thoughts we don't even know we need to think about. Perhaps I have some unresolved feelings about needing to take care of myself because no one else is doing it for me (like the Sheriff who failed to catch my parents' burglar). Or maybe I just need to stop watching crime dramas before going to bed. Who knows? Maybe the answer will come to me in a dream while I'm searching for a clean, private toilet.

Our Favorite Places:

2009-04-23T20:12:00.000-06:00

Living away from the place you consider home is an adventure, but also causes you to think about things in a new way. For me (Tina) it has caused me to think about my favorite places. For your benefit I will list a few of my favorites here. My favorite:

Beverage -- sweet tea (which is hard to find in Minnesota)
Ice cream flavor -- Ben & Jerry's Fossil Fuel or Imagine Whirled Peace
Chinese restaurant -- China King on Scenic and Republic Road in Springfield, MO
Chinese dish -- China King sweet and sour chicken, Mandarin Inn General Chicken
Mexican restaurant -- Celita Lindo's or Mexican Villa in Springfield, MO
Italian restaurant -- Old Spaghetti Factory in either St. Louis, MO or Minneapolis, MN
Fast food restaurant -- Raising Cane's in Minneapolis, MN or Chick-Fil-A in Springfield, MO
Pizza restaurant -- Arris' Pizza in Springfield, MO
Pizza toppings -- the Hen House at Arris' or Hawaiian style thin crust at Domino's
American Style restaurant -- 63 Diner in Columbia, MO (now closed)
Breakfast restaurant -- Cracker Barrel anywhere
Ice Cream restaurant -- Izzy's Ice Cream in St. Paul, MN or Central Dairy in Jefferson City, MO
BBQ restaurant -- Neely's in Memphis, TN
BBQ sauce -- Famous Dave's Texas Pit BBQ sauce
Steak restaurant -- Kurtz's in Bardstown, KY
Place to be with God -- the beach at Turtle Shores, Belize or Devil's Ice Box in Columbia, MO
Theatre -- Gillioz Theatre in Springfield, MO
Annual event -- Fair Grove Heritage Reunion in Fair Grove, MO
College campus -- Mizzou in Columbia, MO
Neighborhood -- Lake of the Isles in Minneapolis, MN
Place to shop for clothes -- Name Brand Clothing in Springfield, MO
Museum -- City Museum in St. Louis, MO
Soda-Pop -- Pineapple Fanta from Gentle's Cool Spot in Gales Point, Belize
Pie flavor -- Kentucky Pie at McAllister's in Springfield, MO or my mom's raspberry pie
Place to take Truman -- Three Dog Bakery in Springfield, MO
Coffee shop -- Caribou Coffee in Minneapolis, MN
Bagel shop -- Bruegger's Bagels in Minneapolis, MN

I'm sure there are lots more, I just can't think of them right now. I love that there's such a wide variety of favorite places and it makes me appreciate all the places I've lived and the things I've experienced along the way. Without those experiences I wouldn't have discovered some of my favorite things.

Childhood Memories

2009-04-04T18:23:00.000-06:00

Mom occasionally asks me (Tina) to write articles for her column in the Buffalo Reflex recounting some event oranother from my childhood. These are usually fun recollections of things that seemed traumatic at the time. These stories are often recounted at times where a quick stop at Guiltsville helps my cause in some way, such as when I've forgotten someone's birthday. I like to call these gems "stories from therapy". Here's one I wrote several years ago.

This tale recalls a variety of car trips, Sunday- drives or longer vacation trips. My parents, particularly my dad, have this odd habit of taking different routes wherever they go. For example, if they took the highway on the way to town, then they'd have to take backroads on the way home. Perhaps it was a sense of adventure to see new sights. Sounds pretty normal and kind of nice, right? My parents thought of these scenic off-the-beaten-path drives as familiar old friends, routes they had driven many times. However, I hadn't experienced most of these drives before. We could have been driving in another country for all I knew. Well, when I was younger, I had a pretty intense fear of getting lost. Perhaps it was all those years of watching "Lost in Space". These unknown routes created a great sense of anxiety within my young mind, as I assumed that since I didn't know where we were, my parents didn't either. My parents, in their quest for the utmost psychological health for their children, always noticed my anxiety and reacted quickly. "Oh,no! We must be lost", they would always say in their most convincing voices. This is how they reacted to my fear, by feeding it. They, of course, thought it was humorous to watch the panic-stricken look that would sweep across my face as I scanned all the windows looking for signs of familiarity in case it would be left up to me to save us. Of course, they would laugh, to which I would scream "Stop laughing at me!", which always elicited the reply "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you". I would then generally calmly say "BUT I'M NOT LAUGHING!" It was a familiar cycle of which my parents never seemed to tire.

These traumatic, "we-must-be-lost" drives were nothing compared to the experience of long car trips. Understand that my mother doesn't travel well. She doesn't sleep well in "foreign" beds or in motel rooms where one can hear everything that happens outside the room. We usually took short trips to locales within a 150-mile radius of our home. My entire childhood memory bank only recalls one trip that lasted more than one night away from home. That was a trip to Arlington, TX to visit my uncle, Richard. We drove in a two-door, 1977 Ford Mustang II from Fair Grove, MO to Texas in August of the year I turned six. That's approximately eight hours with four people crammed into a small car, one of whom was six and the other eight. Now, to comprehend the full weight of what it meant for my brother and I to be in a closed space together for eight hours, you have to understand that my brother and I were arch-enemies. Tim was Afghanistan to my United States.

For those of you unfamiliar with the inside of a 1977 Mustang II, I'll offer a brief description. The bucket seats were upholstered in some sort of fake, red leather to match the exterior. There was a "hump" between the two bucket seats in the back of the car. That hump was Switzerland and for Tim and I, a zone that neither of us owned or controlled. Tim, however, disregarded the international laws which governed the backseat of our car, and often crossed over the neutral hump-zone in order to pinch, poke, hit or otherwise pester me when the parents weren't looking. This normally led to my attempts at vigilante justice, such as hitting, biting or kicking him back. If that didn't work, whining usually ensued as a last ditch effort to attract peace-keeping efforts from the superpowers in the front seat. That usually ended in unpleasant parental sanctions, such as "Don't make me pull this car over!"

Whether it was an eight-hour trip or just a couple of hours, the bickering in the backseat was usually the same. Tim and I just couldn't manage to get along. By the time we got to wherever we were going, everyone in the family was so on edge that we just wanted to be alone for a while. I'm not entirely certain how my parents didn't "accidentally lose" Tim or I so they could maintain their sanity. Actually, I don't know a judge or jury who would have convicted my parents for having sold one or both of us on the Black Market. Don't'feel too sorry for my parents, though. The Battle of the Backseat was a nice little payback for all the trauma-inducing times they said "Oh, no! We must be lost!"

What happens in Vegas...

2009-03-27T07:21:00.000-06:00

You have certainly seen the advertising for Las Vegas that boasts "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". To be sure, it is a fun slogan and even in tough economic times I am sure they are not hurting for tourism dollars. Joe recently traveled to Las Vegas to meet with ministry contacts for the summer mission work that will be done there through Youthworks. While there he drove down the strip on the advice of a ministry contact who suggested the M&M Factory might be a worthy evening activity for student missionaries. Other than being frustrated by the insanity of Las Vegas traffic, Joe was impressed with the size, scope and spectacle that is the Las Vegas strip.

As we talked about it, though, we began to compare Vegas with the evil one that the Church Lady was always talking about. Vegas is a great visual representation of how you-know-who gets us. Vegas is flashy, colorful and very visually appealling. Everything you could ever want -- including some things you'd never admit to wanting -- is there at your fingertips in the most alluring, delicious ways. You want to have fun? Well, come to our casino and try your hand at the slots, those are safe enough. Need proof? Look at all the little grannies playing the slots. If it's safe enough for your dear sweet granny, then surely it's safe for you, right? Tired of wasting quarters? Well, spend some cash to buy some chips and try out the gaming tables. Scantilly-clad waitresses will get you whatever you want to drink and bring it to your table while you game. Hungry? Low-cost buffets abound. Still bored? There are shopping, dining and entertainment options at every turn. Oh, and if you're lonely? Don't worry. Vegas has a cure for that, too, and you won't even get arrested for it.

But the thing is, Vegas has a dark side that lurks on either side of the strip, where all those sparkly neon lights aren't bright enough to shine. There are hundreds of homeless teens, families and adults who came to Vegas and then couldn't afford to get back out. There are women who came there for opportunities and found that their only commodity was their bodies. There are lonely, hurting people who have sold their souls to the gaming tables or other addictions. Sure what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but at what cost?

More importantly, what are the shiny, alluring things that have sucked ME in? To what have I "sold my soul"? Just because I can look at Las Vegas with eyes wide open to see the spiritual cost, doesn't mean my eyes are wide enough to see what is going on right here in Minneapolis at the expense of my own relationship with God. Someday I want to see the spectacle of Vegas just to know what it looks like for myself. But I know that just because something is bright and shiny doesn't mean it is the kind of Light that Christ spoke of, the kind of Light that illuminates a darkened world. That's the Light I want to see with more than a tourist's eyes....that's the Light I want to follow.

A few minor frustrations...

2009-03-17T09:23:00.000-06:00

I (Tina) spend quite a bit of time on various news websites trying to keep abreast on current events. Several times lately, though, I leave these websites in a huff, an ever-increasing fury growing in my brain. Here are a few recent current events that have added fuel to my fire:

Frustrating Item #1
Octomom. For those of you living under a rock or if you are reading this at some point in the future and have forgotten who Octomom is...she is not a superhero with eight arms to help care for her children. She is Nadya Suleman, a single woman who had six children via in vitro fertilization and then went back for more and had octuplets. What's interesting about Octomom is that she doesn't have a job, allegedly lives off of student loan money and NOT welfare, and until recently lived with her parents and all those children in a run-down 2-bedroom house that was $23,000 behind in payments, facing forclosure. While there are several aspects of Octomom's story that bother me, I am most preterbed about the fact that Joe and I both work full-time jobs and, after paying all our bills, we don't have enough left over to be frivolous on much of anything. We don't buy clothing that isn't on sale. We don't go on vacations. We rarely eat out unless it's fast food. We cannot afford children on our income and so our adoption plans continue to sit on the back burner. And yet a woman with no income is able to afford to raise herds of children, pay for costly fertility treatments, pay for even more costly NICU care for weeks on end, and now is moving into a $560,000 home where she will be making monthly payments of approximately $3200. How is this possible? Why do her bad decisions lead to so many good things for her? Why does Entertainment Tonight herald her and her wee children as "stars" worthy of nightly coverage? Why do we live in a world that rewards poor choices?

Frustrating Item #2
AIG and the other big banks who have received bailouts and then used bailout money to offer bonuses to their senior level employees. First of all, why are these folks getting bonuses? Aren't bonuses meant to reward good work? Shouldn't these senior level employees be in danger of being fired for letting their banks/corporations get into such a terrible financial condition that bailout was necessary? Second of all, shouldn't these corporations use the bailout money to keep afloat so they can get back to making a profit on their own? Why, after one or two bailouts that have already failed to produce results, does our government think that ANOTHER bailout is going to do the trick? Are they hoping the old adage "Third time's a charm" will hold true? And, how hard is it to force AIG and others to accept regulations with their hefty bailout check? For example, to receive government bailout money Company A must agree to restructure senior-level salaries to be no more than 10 times what the lowest paid employee in their company makes and no bonuses will be paid out until such time that all the bailout money is re-paid in full. If they do not agree to or follow these restrictions, the government either doesn't pay-out or demands immediate re-payment in full. That's not too hard, is it?

Frustrating Item #3
Politics. We as a nation voted for "hope" and "change" and what we got was more politics. The first 50 days were filled with messages of doom and destruction. The financial situation was hopeless. We were swifly headed toward another "great" depression. The only solution was a giant stimulus package to be passed by Congress and signed quickly by the President. Pictures were painted of the Great Depression and FDR's New Deal. After the stimulus bill and all its juicy pork got passed, the message from the White House suddenly changed to a hopeful message of the strength of our economy. Guess what. That wasn't by accident. The market will continue fall if your national leaders erode confidence in it because all those investors hear the news and see the sky falling in front of them because that's what the President said on CNN or MSNBC. So, what's a nation to do if the economy seems to be spiraling toward despair? Of course we will support the only available option for recovery. Well, now the President and others are all sunshine and fields of flowers as they discuss the economic outlook for our nation. They speak favorably and the Market responds favorably. We are like puppets on a string and we're doing just what the politicians wanted us to do all along. They got their pork projects and we get a warm fuzzy feeling that makes us feel comfortable spending money and buying real estate and investing in the stock market again.

Okay, I feel better having gotten all that off my chest.

Our new addiction to....IKEA

2009-03-15T18:51:00.000-06:00

Today Joe&Tina were indoctrinated into the amazing world of IKEA. For those of you who are still IKEA virgins (which a sign in the store says is totally okay), IKEA is a low-cost furniture and home decor store based out of Sweden. We went to their location in Bloomington, located across the street from the Mall of America. It is the size of two Walmart Supercenters stacked on top of one another and then multiplied by two. There are two restaurants inside the store, one of which is a deli that offers three choices. The other offers a wider selection of perhaps ten choices, none of which is over $5. It also has a child-care center where you can drop off your wee children while you enter the maze-like store. The escalator takes you upstairs where you follow the pathway through the showrooms of living, dining, kitchen, office, closet, bedroom and bathroom furniture, decor, and cabinetry. Everything we saw was beautiful, some modern, some classic. You could outfit your entire kitchen with cabinetry, island-style work spaces, appliances, and organizational tools for $5000 or less. The only catch to the store is that if you buy a piece of furniture, you are responsible to take it home and put it together yourself. A large table that would seat 4 - 6, for example, would come in a rectangular-shaped box that you could put on a pallet-type cart and wheel through the check-out aisle and out to your car. We spent roughly two hours making our way slowly through the gigantic store and walked away spending roughly $30 to decorate Tina's office at work -- a lamp with Happy Green lamp shade, a Happy Green rug and a picture for the wall. Most of the two hours was spent lusting after IKEA items that would be wonderful to own someday and dreaming about how to make that happen. We're both certain that we are guilty of coveting.....but we don't entirely care because WE LOVE IKEA!

Memories of the Fair

2009-03-07T17:54:00.000-06:00

Joe's work recently held a wacky staff-fun activity called "Fair Food Friday". One of his co-workers comes from a family of fair food vendors and he worked to bring fair food to the masses at Youthworks. It made me recall my (Tina's) own experiences at the fair as a child.

When Tim and I were kids, going to the fair wasn't about having fun --at least not the kind most young kids would consider. I take that back,there are plenty of kids who grow up in countries where fun consists of watching the dirt blowing across a parched and desolate landscape.These Third World desert kids would have jumped at the opportunity to follow our parents around the fair in 100 degree heat. I consider myself unspeakably lucky compared to many. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Anyway, back to memories of the fair. My one goal at the fair was to ride the rides. I LOVED rides. Dad instilled a love of exciting rides at a very early age when he took meon a huge roller-coaster at Six Flags, when I was just five years old. This was the kind of roller-coaster that went upside-down several times. I was (and frankly still am) far shorter than the little sign that said,"You must be THIS tall to ride this ride." This particular Six Flags worker let me go on the roller-coaster anyway since I was with a responsible adult. Shortly after we went upside-down the first time, my dad realized there's actually a reason for the height requirement. I guess the lap-bar that holds people in their seats wasn't really designed to be used by a wee tiny child. Dad spent most of the ride holding on to me so I wouldn't go flying out and land on the ground with all the stuff that falls out of people's pockets. I didn't realize the ride was anything but thrilling, and I couldn't wait to do it again. Thus, my love of rides was unleashed.

This love of rides, however, was born into a family controlled by Mom -- a non-ride person. Her enjoyment of the fair comes from activities thatare slow-moving and take place 100% on the ground. These ground-based activities were the priority of the Smith family's fair going experience throughout my childhood and had to be completed in their entirety beforegoing on ANY rides. First, we would carefully make our way through the cattle barns to where my cousins were camping out with their prize-winning heifers while waiting for their turn to compete. There we would swat at flies and try not to inhale too deeply. Occasionally we would have to quickly dodge fresh manure as it was being deposited by nearby cattle. We would eventually make our way to the non-air-conditioned arena where we would sit and watch until my cousins were finished competing. Being nothing more than your basic city-girl, I didn't understand the judging criteria for cattle shows. All the cows looked the same to me, except for the variations in their spots. Add the confusion, arena smell, lack of air-conditioning and boredom, to my intense desire to ride rides, and you've got a pretty clear picture of how much I enjoyed the cattle shows. My mother's exasperated conversations with me went something like this: "I don't know what the judges are looking for." "Yes, I know it's hot in here." "I told you before that we will ride the rides later." "No, you may not go ride the rides by yourself and meet us back here when the cows come home."

Tina and her cheesy love letters...

2009-02-25T09:01:00.000-06:00

In the spirit of clinging forever to the honeymoon, Joe&Tina periodically write each love letters. We thought we might share one such letter with everyone in cyber space. Please to enjoy:

I LOVE YOU like moths love lightbulbs. Like Truman loves rawhide. Like the news media loves Obama. I love you like Robert DeNiro loves playing the bad guy. Like pregnant ladies love pickles and ice cream. Like Lex Luther loves Kryptonite. I love you like cats love catnip. Like Cheech & Chong love marijuana. Like Asians love rice. I love you like peanut butter loves jelly. Like Entertainment Tonight loves Donny & Marie Osmond. Like Rosie O'Donnell loves a heated political argument. I love you like peas love carrots. Like Germans love bratwurst. Like Andy Williams loves Branson. I love you like chili loves Fritos. Like Mack trucks love deisel fuel. Like Donald Trump loves rolling naked in money. I love you like the moon loves the night time. Like elephants love peanuts. Like Charlie Brown loves the little red-haired girl. I love you like teenage girls love Edward from "Twilight". Like Carrot Top loves prop comedy. Like coffee loves creamer. I love you like Jay Leno loves cars. Like Joacim Phoenix loves doobies. Like hot cocoa loves marshmallows. I love you like Harry Potter loves magic. Like you love Michael Jordan. Like Truman loves peanut butter. I love you like Rod Blagojevich loves swear words. Like Jason from the Bachelor loves making out in hot tubs. Like Girl Scouts love cookies. I love you like campfires love s'mores. Like gang members love spray paint. Like Barney Fife loves his one bullet. I love you!

Beggars can't be Choosers

2009-02-13T08:10:00.000-06:00

You know, I've always heard the phrase "beggars can't be choosers".....most often as a child when I wanted something my parents only begrudgingly wanted to buy me. I would usually get the off-brand of that item and if I tried to put up a fuss about it not being the name brand, I would be scolded with the reminder about beggars' options.

The phrase means even more to me now. I am working a job I really don't enjoy. I am living in the arctic tundra of Minneapolis in winter, which I really don't enjoy. Each day I ride to work on public transportation, which I REALLY don't enjoy. I have recently spent much time wallowing in self-pity that this is my life, that this blustery, snow-covered city with its endless traffic jams and crowded grocery stores is my home. I have cried out to God, begging Him to explain why our other opportunities ended in disappointment and that THIS is where He sent us instead.

But, just a few short months ago I was begging God to give me a job, any job. Our finances were getting to the point of peril and we were unsure how we would even survive if a job wasn't found soon. Now that I have a job, I have the audacity to complain that it isn't good enough? I am humbled to realize just what a spoiled rotten little brat I must seem in God's eyes. I am His child and He must really want to scold me with "beggars can't be choosers". Instead, He has placed me in an office with people who are kind, who have helped me feel welcome and who have helped me learn how to survive here. I am receiving a paycheck that is ever-so-slightly more than adequate to meet my needs -- far more than I ought to receive in the position for which I was hired. I have a husband who loves me, a church that is beginning to feel like home, a safe place to live, food on my plate each night, a warm and comfy spot to lay my head each night, and most importantly, a Savior to forgive my trespasses....and I dare to complain about God's provision? Well, lesson learned. Beggars indeed can't be choosers and I am glad I have a Lord who is sovereign to choose for me, even when I don't understand the choices.

Reminiscing About Ice Storms

2009-01-26T21:09:00.000-06:00

After talking with friends and family back home in Missouri and hearing about their plight at receiving yet another annual ice storm, Joe&Tina are reminiscing about their first ice storm together in January of 2007. Joe&Tina had been home from their Seattle honeymoon for one short week and were out for a Friday night date when the ice storm hit our house. As we drove home from a lovely Italian dinner at a cozy little bistro, we noticed that street lights and neighborhoods were dark. Ominously dark. We pulled into our street, finding that it, too, was dark. Assuming that the worst of the weather would pass by morning and power would shortly be restored, we called Tina's parents to see if we could crash at their still electrified house. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived they had lost power, too. Luckily, they have a gas log fireplace and a basement that typically holds heat well. We hunkered down under extra blankets and prepared for a day that would surely bring the return of electricity and heat. No such luck. We awoke to a very chilly house and spent the morning cuddled under blankets seated as near the fireplace as we could manage without sitting on top of one another. We cooked lunch in foil packets just like we were roughing it on a winter camping trip.

One set of lucky friends in Springfield still had power and called to offer up hot water for showers and electricity for watching television. For the next week we spent our days and nights in a constant state of flux, traveling from friend to family to friend and back again for sleeping and showering and marking time until we could return to our newlywed home. After a week of the gypsy life, our lucky friends offered us their generator and we were finally able to return home. We spent the second full week of the ice storm with a home powered by a generator whose thirsty gas tank had to be filled twice each day.

After fourteen grueling days without power, the utility trucks finally arrived on our street and power was blissfully restored to our house. What initially seemed like a certainly brief encounter with powerlessness turned into the first challenge of our marriage. We learned a lot about ourselves and our marriage in those two weeks and realized that the warm fuzzy feelings of the honeymoon were definitely not the only glue to our relationship. Joe and Tina learned a lot about the depth of their friendship and the strength they possessed together in adversity. Almost a year to the day the second ice storm of our marriage hit, but we only lost power for a few hours. This year, we face a different kind of ice storm in our marriage as we weather the move to frigid Minnesota along with the challenge of making our life together work in this new place. We're both thrilled to be absent for the third ice storm to hit Springfield in as many years and appreciate that Minnesota rarely sees such dreadful weather patterns. Snow seems like a piece of cake in comparison to ice storms...and best of all, we're rarely in danger of a 14-day power outage when flurries start to fly!

Testing our resolve

2009-01-18T18:48:00.000-06:00

Joe&Tina have decided that living in Minnesota is a really good test of how much we love the Lord and what kind of Christian we are. We have attended church all but two of the weeks we have lived here so far. Lest you think we are heathens, one of the weeks we were in Springfield and one of the weeks Tina had to work the Vikings game and there wasn't enough time to go to church. Of the weeks we have gone to church services, it has been snowing or has snowed significantly within the 24 hour period before we attended church. We have yet to arrive on time to a service, usually getting slowed down by snow or getting lost or being unable to find parking. Each time, Joe has had to repent of his rather unpleasant attitude (and occasionally his vocabulary) on the way to church. We regularly have to overcome the urge to throw in the towel as we watch the clock tick past the start time for church and we are still driving around. This morning, for example, we had been on the internet checking out this church. We had listened to a couple of sermons, looked at the map, committed the street address to memory, verified the directions with Google maps. Unfortunately, Google maps didn't specify that the street that we needed to go to was not accessible from the street we would be coming from. It didn't tell us the route we would need to take. And, it didn't tell us that 301 North and 301 South were so close and yet so far from one another, separated by a bridge and three blocks of impassable road construction. Our various attempts were thwarted by the white fluff that was falling quickly from the sky, making every turn treacherous, especially all the wrong turns we took. We arrived 10 minutes late this morning. Last week, we were also 10 minutes late because it was (a) snowing and (b) there were no parking places anywhere near the church and we ended up circling the block twice. Luckily, the churches we are visiting are VERY laid back and we are usually not the last ones to walk in, even at our late time of arrival.

Another test of our resolve we have failed is in our response to the snowy weather, cold, poor driving conditions, traffic and the frustration that all the above bring us. What should be a 15 minute drive is usually a 30 minute drive. What is supposed to take 30 minutes ends up taking an hour. A route that appears correct on the map involves an exit that is inaccessible from the direction we're traveling. The rush hour lasts far beyond the time you would expect rush hour to end. I don't know how long we will live here before all of it seems normal and we know how much time to plan for to account for weather-traffic-construction related slowdowns. I wonder how soon it will be before we too can understand and embrace all the oddities of the Twin Cities' highway system. When will our drives end in calm, serene, joyful feelings? When will we be Christ-like enough not to let a few travel woe's lead us into sin? Perhaps our prayer should be ".....and lead us not into traffic but deliver us from travel delays...."

Lessons from 2008, Hope for 2009

2009-01-01T10:19:00.000-06:00

The year 2008 has been one Joe&Tina are happy to put behind them. From the long wait on a decision from Crusade to hip surgery to the long series of waiting/trials/junk that happened over the summer and fall to the process of trying to sell the house and move to Minneapolis....it's all memories best left in the past as we look forward to a fresh start in 2009. Some lessons we learned:

God doesn't send memos. Prayer, no matter how much you do, does not result in God detailing his plan in writing, complete with a timeline and a helpful list of steps to complete. Faith requires hope of things not seen -- and a willingness to keep walking forward even if you have no idea where you're going.
God's timing and mine are different. But, I can take heart in the verse from 2 Peter 3:8-9, that "with the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness."
God has a plan, as He promises in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
We have to be careful in our words and actions, being self-controlled, acting in love, kindness, and all the other fruits of the Spirit.

There's more that we learned, I'm sure, but we are ready to look forward to 2009, instead of looking back at the past. The things we are hoping for 2009:

We would like for Joe's job at Youthworks to continue to go well, and for Joe to have safety and productivity as he travels from Minneapolis to his ministry sites in Colorado, California, Nevada, Arizona and Wyoming.
After Joe finishes the summer of 100% travel, we would like to start the adoption process. We will need to have a successful home-study and would love to work with a caseworker who is a Christian. For now, we are praying for our children, wherever they are.
We want Tina to find a job that (a) pays enough for us to do more than just get by, instead allowing us to become financially free; (b) that either allows Joe to take seminary/graduate level classes or opens a door for Tina to do a job that will be truly satisfying for the future.
Joe&Tina would like to become comfortable in Minneapolis, finding a church "home" and some new friends.
Joe&Tina are also conscious that it takes work to maintain friendships, especially when friends are far away. In 2009, we plan to be intentional to spend time with our friends and loved ones back home.

Hopefully, 2009 will be a year of blessing, prosperity (in ministry, spiritual growth, and friendships), financial freedom, love, hope, and joy. Happy New Year!

Places in Minneapolis we like so far

2008-12-18T10:04:00.000-06:00

Joe and Tina have had several opportunities to adventure around the city in their three short weeks in Minneapolis. We've found several great little enclaves around the city, each complete with its own parks, restaurants and shops. Here's a list of our favorites (in no particular order):

1) Lake Nakomis/Chicago Avenue/Minnehaha Blvd -- in an adventure to find the church we attended last Sunday, Joe and Tina got slightly lost and stumbled across the neighborhood surrounding Lake Nakomis. The homes in this neighborhood are beautiful and there are many cute shops and restaurants. We visited one such shop/restaurant to buy a map (since we were lost) and a coffee. Well, Tina got a Jones soda. The lake is surrounded by a beautiful park and is attached to a lovely walking/biking trail that runs the length of Minnehaha Blvd. There's also a little creek that runs along the walking trail, requiring the trail to utilize lovely little footbridges. In the midst of our recent snows, the whole thing looks a bit like a postcard.

2) Uptown and Lake Calhoun -- one evening Joe and Tina were looking for the Ben and Jerry's ice cream shop and drove the length of Lake Street toward Lake Calhoun. Along the way, we passed through Uptown, complete with its trendy shopping/dining/entertainment offerings. Lake Calhoun is a fairly large lake flanked by the aptly named Lake Street, which eventually leads to other shopping/dining areas.

3) Dinkytown -- this is a great little shopping/dining area near the University of Minnesota campus. We adventured there recently in search of a great little deli called Eddingtons (which we never found) and ended up eating at Annie's Parlor, where we had great burgers, fresh-made french fries and a chocolate malt. Yum!

4) Downtown Minneapolis -- our favorite part of downtown is driving at night on 35W flanking downtown. The air in Minneapolis is quite clear and the view of downtown at night is beautiful.

I'm sure there are more things to love in the city and as we find them, we'll write more. For now, these are a few of our favorite spots and we'll be re-visiting them in the future.

Things I've learned so far about Minnesota

2008-12-06T20:31:00.000-06:00

After just one week I've already learned a few things about being a Minnesotan.

1) For true Minnesotans bagels is pronounced "bag-els" (like would you like a bag of whatever) and if you do want a bag of whatever it's pronounced "beg".

2) There's something here called the "hot dish" that's basically a casserole that doesn't have any flavor. Typically, it's a mixture of meat, vegetables and cream of mushroom soup layered in the bottom of a casserole dish and topped with tater-tots. The problem is no seasoning is added to the mix to make it taste good.

3) The cold doesn't phase true Minnesotans. We constantly see people out walking or biking, sometimes in warm-weather gear, but oftentimes just a sweatshirt hoodie and jeans or bike pants.

4) Minnesotans are just as tired as everyone else in the country of hearing about the ongoing re-count between Al Franken and the other guy who wasn't on SNL.

5) You can get a library card here and "check out" a museum pass that allows you free entry to any or all of about 20 different museums throughout the city, including two different zoos.

6) The city is huge and sprawling, but there are these quaint little neighborhoods all over the place with cool shops, restaurants, parks and other ammenities all in one little village-like area.

7) The winters may be crazy cold, but not cold enough to kill the mosquitos that thrive here in the summer. The joke amongst locals is that mosquitos are the state bird. I guess that's what you're bound to get in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

8) This city is definitely a metropolitan area because little ol' red-haired WASP-y Tina is definitely in the minority at her local grocery store (and many other places). There seem to be equal numbers of several ethnic groups, including many Muslims, Native Americans, Latinos, and African Americans. I'm excited to have so many cultural options in the city and plan to look for some Ethiopian or Somali food like we ate in Toronto.

9) The final thing I've learned is that I've got a LOT to learn about Minneapolis and the rest of Minnesota....one week is barely enough to scratch the surface.

Ya, you betcha we're Minnesotans now

2008-12-02T15:25:00.000-06:00

Joe and Tina are officially Minnesotans as of around midnight on November 30th. We packed our 16 foot rented moving truck with the help of some good friends and our two dads. Joe’s dad, Terry, used to be a professional mover, and Tina’s dad, Terry, is a former engineer whose mind works in how to best make things work. Between the two of them, we fit all but a few items into the moving van with a little space leftover. It was amazing to watch the two of them in action. After about four hours of packing the truck we were finished, leaving the rest of the day to visit with friends and family members and run a few last-minute errands before heading to bed early. Our night of sleep was fitful, but mostly because our air mattress wasn’t on our side and lost air, leaving us mostly sleeping on the floor. We arose at 6 a.m., got ready and loaded the final personal items onto the truck, hitting the road by 8:30 a.m. Snow had begun to fall in Missouri and continued through Iowa. The drive was fine until Iowa, where the snow combined with curious and/or cautious drivers left us with no option but to drive 30 mph through most of the state. Luckily, Minnesota was snow-free and traffic was moving like normal. What should have been an eight or nine hour drive turned into close to 14 hours. We finally made it to our new house at midnight, where our friend met us to help unload the bare necessities. Unfortunately, we also had no shower curtain or bath towels, so we then had to head to a grocery store to purchase those items so Joe could shower for work the next morning. Our pillow finally found our heads at around 1:30 a.m.

Joe’s first day of work went great and Tina spent the day unpacking what she could. After work, Joe came home with friends from work to unload the rest of the truck. I’m still amazed at how much stuff we have! Most of you know that our house is located across the street from Joe’s new job at Youthworks. The neighborhood is cute and is mostly residential. Across the street in one direction is Youthworks and the other direction is a large park. Down the street is a school. A few streets to our south is Lake street, which is a bustling business district. Within a few blocks of our house we have access to our bank, the public library, an auto parts store and hardware store, coffee shop, McDonald’s and other restaurants, two grocery stores, Walgreens and Target.
Our house is small and appears to have been built in the 50’s. When you walk in the front door you’re greeted by the living room. To your right is the door to the smaller of the two bedrooms, which will be a guest room and Tina’s office. Also to the right is the start of an L-shaped hallway with the bathroom on the right. That hallway opens up to a larger room that is probably supposed to be the formal dining room, but will be Joe’s office and our reading room. The other part of the L-shaped hallway has a linen closet and another long closet on it and then leads to the basement doorway and an exit to the backyard. The entrance to our bedroom is off to the north side of the office. If you keep walking through the office it opens up to the eat-in kitchen. The kitchen is small, but has quite a bit of cabinet space. Along with the traditional appliances we have a dishwasher, which is FABULOUS! The kitchen has a set of French doors leading to a deck in the backyard. There’s a stone path leading from the deck to the two-car garage. Our yard has privacy fence on all but one side, and the other side is just a chain-length fence. There’s not a ton of room, but plenty for Truman to run around. The owner of the house left a little patio table and two chairs with the house, along with a BBQ grill, both of which sit on the back patio. The house isn’t going to appear in architectural digest anytime soon, but it is cute and has some fun details, like long, high windows that let in lots of light. The unfinished basement is large enough to allow plenty of room for laundry and storage. All in all, it’s a very livable house and will feel really cozy and wonderful once all the boxes are unpacked and pictures are hung. We’ll post pictures as soon as we get unpacked and the house looks photo-worthy.

To everyone who helped us pack or unpack, we’d like to give you a HUGE thanks! For those of you who’ve been praying for us, offering us words of encouragement or who so generously gave us gifts or cash, THANKS a million to you, too!

Living in De-Nile?

2008-11-17T16:32:00.000-06:00

This weekend my husband and I had the "unfortunate" duty of using a resort rental in Branson that his family was unable to use. We were able to use Joe's Wyndham discount to get the rental and the original plan was for the men in his family to use the rental for a short Miller men's retreat. Plans fell through and we were stuck using the rental. Such a terrible problem. After driving down to Branson, finding the check-in office and receiving directions to our rental, we were astounded by the size of our home-away-from-home. There was a kitchen and laundry closet, full-size dining room table, large sectional pull-out sofa, a separate bedroom with king-size bed and its own TV, plus a large bathroom with a jacuzzi tub!

While soaking up the life of luxury at our rental, we decided to take a late-evening adventure to Branson Landing to see if the Ben & Jerry's was still open and to see if maybe, just possibly, my favorite flavor of ice cream would be waiting there for me. Everything else on the Landing was closed and we were about to give up hope when we saw the ice cream shop with several people still inside. And what's even better....several cartons of "Fossil Fuel" ice cream were waiting in the freezer case, just for me! For those of you who don't know about my obsession with Fossil Fuel ice cream, it goes like this. I stumbled across this decadent ice cream flavor several years ago at the grocery store in Springfield. It is a sweet cream ice cream with a hot fudge swirl, chocolate cookie pieces (not Oreos, though) and chocolate fudge candy pieces. The perfect blend of chocolate flavors. Yum! For months I was able to purchase as much Fossil Fuel as my meager budget would allow, until suddenly, it disappeared entirely from Springfield and the surrounding area. In its place? Pistacio Pistacio. Green ice cream with (in my opinion) yucky-tasting nuts in it. No chocolate. No cookie pieces. Since then, I've only induldged in Fossil Fuel on trips to other locations, like our honeymoon trip to Seattle, a visit to Raleigh to see my friend, and a recent trip to San Clemente for a wedding.

While eating ice cream and enjoying the luxurious surroundings of our rental, Joe and I started talking about our upcoming move to Minneapolis. We're about two weeks from his start date at Youthworks and we still don't know when we we're moving, where we're going to live, where I'm going to work, what we'll do with Truman if we don't get to live in a place that allows pets, how we're going to get our stuff to MN, how we'll afford to live there until we both start getting paid, etc. Because there are so many outstanding questions, I think we've both just been living in denial that decisions must be made and plans must be set in motion.....soon. I don't know, but for right now De-Nile tastes a lot like Fossil Fuel ice cream!

And the winner is.....

2008-11-06T14:56:00.000-06:00

After months and months and months of waiting, praying, considering different options and even visiting a few places, we finally have an answer to the $60,000 question.....Joe&Tina have accepted the position with Youthworks! (exclamation point in the name, not added for emphasis) in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The position will start at the beginning of December. Our house has been on the market for about one month now with a few nibbles, but no takers. We are praying that the house will sell in a timely fashion, allowing Joe&Tina to move to MN at the same time. Tina has applied for a few positions in the Minneapolis area, but has yet to hear back from anyone yet. One of the positions sounds particularly interesting and another, though part-time, is only a few blocks from where Joe will be working. Much time has been spent online looking at housing options, which are plenty (unlike our last option, Natchez). The issue will be finding housing that will be (a) affordable, (b) in a location decently close to work, and (c) something conducive to Truman's lifestyle where he can continue to pretend he's in charge of the household.

Neither Joe nor Tina are doing cart-wheels in celebration of moving to Minneapolis in winter-time, but are excited for the possibilities this new career might hold for the future. Additionally, Tina is using this as an excuse to purchase more sweaters and is venturing into the purchase of cute winter footwear as well. Both Joe&Tina are planning to stock up on long-underwear, gloves, mittens, warm hats, scarves and the like, as Minneapolis is, as my dad would say, "COLD as Hoby's Goat". For those of you who've never heard my dad utter that expression, we're unclear of true identity of Hoby and his questionable goat ownership. However, dad uses the phrase in any situation that even remotely applies. For example, hot summer days are described as "Hot as Hoby's Goat"; a really rainy day might be "Wet as Hoby's Goat"; a man's nagging wife might be described to be "Mean as Hoby's Goat"; you can expand it from there to fit whatever situation you like. In any event, Hoby's Goat would probably need four layers of sweaters on top of long-john's, layered wool socks, and high quality mittens to be comfortable in the weather we're moving into. At least we'll be dreaming of a white Christmas, unlike most of the folks we'll be leaving behind in Missouri!

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust as it applies to mice

2008-10-23T15:15:00.000-06:00

Today we got a call from a realtor who wanted to show our house. As we scurried around hurriedly tidying up the house, I noticed a smell, a not-so-fresh smell coming from somewhere in the kitchen. I sniffed and I snuffed around all the usual suspects, assuming that our full trashcan was the culpret. Changing the trashbag didn't help. I continued the olfactory tour of my kitchen, trying to smell and then eliminate each possible source. I finally tracked (like a bloodhound) the smell and found it was originating from somewhere in the utility closet. Febreeze was no match for this smell and I am wondering if a not-so-fortunate mouse has breathed his last somewhere behind or under the washing machine.

Thinking about this potentially decaying-rodent made me recall the last (and only) time I saw a mouse in my house. It was about a year after I had moved in and I was laying on the couch watching TV late one night when I saw something come from the shadows and scurry toward me. I squeeled at the sight of a little black mouse peeking at me from under the coffee table that was just feet away from where I lay. He made his presence known briefly and then scurried back down the hall. I almost wore shoes to bed that night. The next day I set out to purchase some sort of mouse-removal product. I looked at the mousetraps and the De-Con mouse poison and opted for the traps. I can remembered the smell of mice dying and returning to ashes/dust in hidden places in our house when I was a kid and I didn't want to deal with that in my own house if it could be avoided. When I got home, I put a blob of peanut butter onto the trigger-paddle of a couple of traps and set them in places I thought might be home to my unwanted guest. The next morning I checked the traps to find they had been licked clean, as though the peanut butter had never even been there. That night I put more peanut butter, but I spread it around in such a way that the mouse would have to lick all parts of the trigger-paddle if he wanted a treat. Again, the trap was licked clean the next morning. This mouse was some sort of magician! I couldn't have gotten those traps cleaner if I had used soap! I decided to step my efforts up a notch and mixed rat poison into some peanut butter which I then spread on the trigger-paddle. If his hungry greed didn't get him one way, it would get him the other. Either way, my house would be rodent-free. That night I heard the sounds of scurrying coming from the furnace closet in the hall and then heard the tell-tale "SNAP!" of the trap. Success! There were sounds of a struggle followed by silence.

I gave it a good few minutes before I grabbed a trashbag and gloves to dispose of the dearly departed....only to find an empty trap and a small trail of blood. This was NOT going the way it was supposed to go. I was faced with the problem of the decaying mouse turning to ashes and dust (and rotten smell) in my house, and what's worse, I didn't know how badly injured this mouse was. I mean, what if he just had a flesh-wound and was plotting his revenge?! I grabbed my trusty flashlight to take a closer look inside the furnace closet and spotted him there in the corner by the door, just sitting there looking stunned and injured, but not dead. What to do? I did the only thing I could think of that wouldn't involve touching a stunned and injured living mouse....I grabbed the roach spray and gave it a good dousing. Now, you might be thinking to yoruself "Self, what would I have done in this situation?" Well, let me offer you a piece of advice: do NOT spray roach spray on a stunned mouse because it has the exact opposite effect you'd be hoping for.

The mouse sprung to life and scurried out of the closet almost across my feet and into the bathroom. He sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, missing part of his tail. I quickly threw the trashcan upside down over the mouse, capturing it. Success! Except, now what? I couldn't just live with an upside down trashcan and trapped/stunned/injured mouse in the middle of my bathroom floor. So, I grabbed some aluminum foil and slid it between the floor and the trashcan and wrapped the foil up around the edges of the trashcan, trapping the mouse and effectively protecting him from freezer burn. I then threw the entire thing into the dumpster and added "new bathroom trashcan" to my grocery list. I thought the whole thing had served as a cautionary tale to all the other mice because there had been no others in the three years since that incident....until today's unfortunate and odorous encounter.

What I am most looking forward to on November 5th

2008-10-21T18:42:00.000-06:00

After the many, agonizingly-long months of campaiging, primaries, conventions, speeches, debates, ads, mailings, spam, youtube posts, and the like, I'm ready for the election to bring it all to a swift -- although nothing will be swift enough to ward off my growing weariness and cynicism -- and merciful conclusion. Honestly, I've never been so ready to return to regular programming. When I watch the news I'm excited to see images of car accidents, murder investigations, kidnappings, and every other manner of non-political news. On Saturday Night Live, I'm excited to see the return of anything not related to Tina Fey's dead-on impersonation of Sarah Palin. I think I might be the most excited by the return of commercials for products I can go to the store to purchase or can ask my doctor to prescribe me. Viagra and Tampax...commercials that are typically embarassing offer me sweet relief from candidate attack ads. I'd even settle for a good Head On! (apply directly to the forehead) Head On! (apply directly to the forehead) Head On! (apply directly to the forehead) commercial -- even though it is one of the most annoying television ads ever produced. All this and not one ad that ends in "My name is (fill in the blank with candidate who pretends to be more honest, worthy, reputable, bipartisan, or otherwise better qualified than the other guy) and I approved this message"

We don't need no stinkin' Natchez...

2008-10-13T19:30:00.000-06:00

Many of our friends have already heard or received this update privately, but now is the time to inform the rest of the world. Joe and Tina decided not to take the job in Natchez. The Sunday we were there to check out the church, Joe spoke and the church hosted a potluck lunch, followed by a Q&A session and a "congregational vote". It was decided by the eight members present to offer Joe the job and they informed us we had ten days to make our decision. After giving it some prayer and thought and after consulting just about every Godly friend and loved one in our lives, we decided that Natchez isn't the place for us. The day after we returned to Springfield from Mississippi, Joe received an interesting offer for a job that had just become available. We're not sure where this offer will lead, but are hopeful. He has an interview tomorrow and depending on the outcome, there will be more information posted on this blog. Stay tuned for the next episode of the Miller Times cliff-hanger!

Natchez in Photos

2008-10-04T19:24:00.001-06:00

Natchez Downtown

more Natchez Downtown

One of many Antebellum plantation homes

We ate at a restaurant called Hot Mama's Tamales.

This is the exterior of the wee tiny apartment we looked at.

More Natchez in Photos

2008-10-04T19:16:00.001-06:00

The bridge over the Mississippi river at sunset.

Lunch at the Pig Out Inn

The Pig Out Inn's mascot

Downtown Natchez

Day One and 1/2 of Natchez Recon

2008-10-04T13:09:00.000-06:00

We're halfway through Day Two in Natchez, rising at 7:30 a.m. to get ready to meet the owner of the downtown loft-style rental. We had some time, so we also got online to the local newspaper website to check out the listings in the classified section. There were a couple of other promising-sounding listings, so we called those numbers for more information. One had already been snatched up. The other, a "two person rental" near downtown was listed at $675, which seemed a lot for such a small place....plus, what does "two person rental" mean exactly? Does that mean only two people fit inside the place or that it's two bedroom or what? It turned out to be a moot point because the house is actually for sale and is just for rent until the owner finds a buyer....and then the renter has to move out. And for the $675 asking price we would still be responsible for paying utilities, trash, etc. The owner gave us the address so we put it on our list for a drive-by. While it was technically near downtown, it was in a location that wasn't entirely desireable and it was more of a shack than a house. For those of you who have seen pictures of some of the shacks from my mission trip to Belize, this house was similar, only with glass windows.

When we arrived at the time scheduled to meet with the owner of the downtown loft, we knocked and waited and knocked and waited and peered in the window to find that the backdoor was standing open, so we knocked and waited some more and then we decided to call again only to get his voicemail so we knocked and waited some more....and he never met us. We decided to leave and eventually heard from the owner of another small rental "near" downtown. This one was touted as a "one-bedroom apartment" and when we arrived it looked charming enough....until we stepped inside. You know those Hallmark cards that are so darling but they're square shaped and require extra postage? Imagine something slightly smaller than that and you'll have some idea of how big this apartment was. Let's just say we'd have to find another home for MOST of our belongings if we chose to rent this apartment. We would have room for our bed and a dresser in the bedrooom, one couch and MAYBE a chair in the living room along with the piece of furniture that our TV sits on, a table and maybe our cute little white kitchen armoire in the dining area (it'd be a tight fit for both to be in the same space). The one closet (in the bedroom) is -- and this is absolutely not an exaggeration in the slightest -- LITERALLY three feet wide. That's not even enough room for all of Joe's shoes. Things we'd have to say goodbye to: most of our clothing, our washer and dryer, the guest bed, Joe's desk, my desk, Joe's stereo, the bedroom armoire, the loveseat, anything that currently resides in the garage, our BBQ grill, and most anything considered purely decorative.

Somewhere in the midst of our day, we also met with one of the congregation members who had a key to the church and offered us a tour. Joe and I had previously tried to determine when th church had been built and thought maybe it was built in the 80s. Once we walked inside the church it was obvious that the church had been built (or at least decorated) in the 70s. The floors were all covered in brown/gold/orange toned sculptured shag carpet. The pew seats are upholstered in mustard yellow. There's brown paneling throughout, including in the bathrooms. The office is very outdated. My mind reeled with the number of things I would need to redecorate in this church to bring it into the modern era and make it attractive. The church is a great size, with a sanctuary that seats approximately 200, a large fellowship hall, a kitchen, four or five classrooms and an office.

After these adventures we needed sustenance and chose a local eatery called the "Pig Out Inn". There we got two plates of VERY tasty BBQ sandwiches, sides and sweet tea. So far the Pig Out Inn is the highlight of the day. We're still hoping that the owner of the loft will become available to show us that location because I'd really hate to find other homes for all my stuff.

Day One of Natchez Recon

2008-10-03T20:11:00.000-06:00

Our decision to move to Natchez largely rests on what we find once we finally set foot on Natchez soil. We're hoping to have some sort of "AHA!" moment where God's plan suddenly makes complete sense. We began our journey to Natchez at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, October 3rd. We headed south on Hwy 65, heading from Springfield to Branson, crossing the border into Arkansas. That was all well and good and all pretty enjoyable until after we passed Harrison, AR. Shortly after passing Harrison, though, we began questioning what God could possibly have been thinking when he put Arkansas on the map. Now, most of northern Arkansas is beautiful country, with the gorgeous terrain of the Ozark Mountains and it's scenic views. What isn't so beautiful were the 5,783 speed limit changes as we drove through Arkansas, often at a frustrating snail's pace.

The only thing that exceeded the number of speed limit changes in Arkansas were the number of Missionary Baptist churches we passed along the way. Here's a comparison for my Missouri friends -- the Missionary Baptist denomination is to Arkansas as the Assemblies of God denomination is to Springfield. A more colorful way to look at it: if we were drinkers using sightings of Missionary Baptist Churches as a drinking game, we would have died from alcohol poisoning somewhere between Little Rock and Pine Bluff.

After FINALLY making it to Little Rock (after five hours of intensely frustrating driving), we headed toward the southern part of Arkansas. Before leaving Little Rock, however, we passed a sign for a place called "Toad Suck Park". One wonders what on the planet could possibly go on at a place with such an extraordinary name. Perhaps people in Arkansas literally suck toads and the practice is so deeply ingrained into Arkansas culture that a park has been named in its honor. In any event, we have plans to stop at Toad Suck Park on our return trip to potentially have a suck or two.

There are very few parts of the country more desolate and depressing than southern Arkansas. Most every view along the drive involves one of three things: dilapidated homes/businesses/schools/churches, cotton fields, and/or burning cotton fields. I'd estimate that roughtly 2/3rds of southern Arkansas was smoldering as we drove through today. Based on VERY limited knowledge of the cotton industry, I am assuming that once the cotton has been harvested, the fields are burned so the soil can be re-turned and re-planted. The lovely, cheery ads put out by the cotton industry ("The look, the feel of COTTON, the fabric of our lives...") paints such a clean, happy picture. The real picture of the cotton industry is depressing and smoky....much like psychic Sylvia Brown.

When we finally crossed out of Arkansas and into northern Louisiana we came to a little town along the Mississippi River, called Lake Providence. Halfway through this small town, however, we hit traffic at a dead stop. Wondering the reason for such heavy traffic in such a tiny locale, we pulled onto the shoulder to find that we were stopped due to the local Homecoming parade making its way down the very street we were trying to maneuver. After waiting some 20 minutes for the final tissue-paper laden float to pass by, we finally made our way south. We cut across to Vicksburg, MS and south toward Natchez on Highway 61, passing through a lovely little community called Port Gibson. Highway 61 turns into Church Street in Port Gibson, and for good reason...there are roughly a dozen churches in a one-mile stretch of highway. One church was particularly eye-catching -- painted a delicate shade of pink and in place of a cross atop the tall steeple was a golden hand with its index finger pointing heavenward. We're not sure if the hand is meant to point toward the Lord or to boldly proclaim that the South indeed shall rise again!

Throughout southern Arkansas, northern Louisiana and western Mississippi we passed several locations of a francise coffee shop called "Jehovah Java". Is it an amusingly quirky Christian-owned coffee chain? An attempt at evangelism through caffeine-rich beverages? Or the reason that most non-Christians think that Christians are out-of-touch lunatics with their own kooky sub-culture? Hmmmm....that's a tough call.

We finally made it to Natchez at roughtly 7 p.m. and luckily, it was still Friday, October 3rd. With just moments of daylight remaining, we made our way to the church. The First Evangelical Methodist Church of Natchez is, as promised, a nice (and relatively large) church building in a very affluent area of the city. It appears that the church was lively within the recent past. In the parking lot on one side we found a basketball goal, as if youth had possibly attended there, and on the other side we found two sets of children's play equipment in a courtyard. If we didn't know that the only members are four ladies in their 70s, one couple in their 50s and their two grandchildren, we might be pursuaded to think the church was alive and well, with a congregation full of young people and families. Looks can be deceiving, I suppose.

After checking into our motel, we headed downtown to see the rental we are considering. Downtown Natchez is as adorable as it looks in the pictures and must be safe because all manner of folks were walking around or sitting in front of buildings leisurely talking or reading. There are cute little antique stores across the street, a book store cad-e-corner, and a quaint coffee shop a few doors down. All looks like a scene from a postcard. Tomorrow morning we meet with the owner of the loft to see the inside. We're looking forward to seeing Natchez in broad daylight. So far, it's as charming as the travel website promised...and that's a lot to offer in the dark after almost ten hours of driving to get here.

And the answer is........

2008-09-25T16:06:00.000-06:00

For those of you who have been following the Miller saga, it appears there is finally an end to the cliff-hanger episode we've been living for the past year. After deciding to forgo Plan A (working as missionaries) and the LONG string of events that have followed, it appears God is planning to have us work as missionaries after all. The job in Natchez is somewhat more bleak than we first understood it to be. Instead of pastoring a congregation of 20, it appears we'll be leading a flock of eight. Within our denomination this means we'll be on missionary status and part of our salary will come directly from the denomination and money allocated from churches all over the place who support missionaries. We will shepherd the flock of eight and do what missionaries do: get out in the community to meet people and build relationships, start a small community Bible study with the intent to keep adding members, do outreach events, etc. In some ways it will be the same work we would have done with Campus Crusade if Plan A had worked the way we expected it to. We will be making the trip to Natchez in just over a week to look for housing, meet the "church", and get acqainted with what will be our new home. The salary they're offering is liveable if Tina gets a well-paying part-time job or a decent paying full-time job. The housing allowance is included in Joe's salary, which will help at tax time, and they're offering to pay tuition to seminary for Joe.

The downsides to Natchez: (1) the heat and humidity; (2) the hurricanes that move through the area bringing tons of rain and scary weather; (3) limited shopping/restaurants -- there's no Target, Hobby Lobby, Barnes & Noble/Borders, Chic-fil-a, or most any place that Tina likes to shop for clothing; (4) we'll have to change banks because there isn't a branch in all of Mississippi or Louisiana; (5) there don't appear to be many jobs for Tina, although she can apply for a retail job or the opening at a B&B for a cook/house-keeper; and, of course, the worst downside (6) family/friends are all roughly 10 hours away and driving to see them requires driving through Arkansas.

The upsides to Natchez: (1) sweet tea at every restaurant; (2) everyone who has been there has commented on how gorgeous it is; (3) there are fun NEW restaurants that we can try out; (4) changing banks means we might score a toaster or something out of the deal; (5) friends will have lots to see when they come visit us, which I hope they will; and, most importantly, (6) the ministry might be challenging, but it might also be VERY rewarding to basically start a church from scratch.

For those of you who've been praying, our continued prayer requests will be:

for God's will to be done
for our ministry to be fruitful
for us to find some good friends to hang out with during our time off
for our "old" friendships to remain strong even while we're away

Thank you to everyone who has following the story. Keep reading for more to follow, because I think it's just now starting to get interesting!

Oh the things we'll do for money

2008-09-19T19:24:00.000-06:00

Many have asked what Joe&Tina are doing to stay afloat financially these days. Not to fear, dear friends, we aren't one of the many unfortunate stats of unemployment you hear in the news. To make ends meet until God flings the door open wide, Joe&Tina are working temp jobs. Tina's job is truly a temp job in every sense of the word. She applied at a temp agency that has placed her with a company which recently sold off a large portion of its business (and thus employees) but still has a great deal of work to do as the transition happens. She is getting paid $12 an hour to babysit computers in the evenings, periodically entering commands to start it on another four-hour round of file transfers. She has decided that it's a job that a slightly trained monkey could do, but she is certainly not going to turn down the money. Plus the downtime provides the opportunity to surf the internet to her hearts content.

Joe's job is slightly less fortunate. He works for a telemarketing company that has a catchy jingle and the promise of great pay/benefits. He has to sell vacation packages to folks in an attempt to get them to fall in love with the resort company so much that they'll want to sign on for a timeshare. Both Joe&Tina are working 2nd shift -- Joe from 4 - 10:45, Tina from 3 - 11. That's p.m. The folks Tina works with are super-nice -- well, they're nice until they leave at 5 and then the building is pretty empty. Joe's co-workers are slightly more "colorful" -- mostly smokers and folks whose speech is littered with comments/words/phrases I won't repeat here for the sake of maintaining a G-rating.

We're both learning a ton. Tina's learning that she's not that computer literate and definitely could never fake her way into an I.T. job. Joe's learning that people skills and telemarketing don't have that much to do with each other. We're both learning that we REALLY want our temp lives to turn into the past so we can get on with the future.

M-I-Crooked letter-crooked letter-I...

2008-09-12T14:20:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks as though the final answer might indeed be Natchez, Mississippi. We heard again from the district superintendent over the southern district, the one who has been working so diligently on Joe's behalf. He has spoken to leaders at the church in Natchez and it appears he is moving forward QUICKLY with placing Joe and I at that church. The church has approximately 20 members who have recently considered -- with sad, heavy hearts -- closing the church doors forever. Joe is kind of the last ditch effort to salvage the church. There is hope, particularly if the church members are willing to make changes to get the body healthy and growing once again. We haven't been to Natchez or seen the church or met with the church leaders or anything else that might make this seem more official. Perhaps that will all come later. We do know that Natchez is a city with a population of about 16,000 people and it sits along the Mississippi River bordering Louisiana. The pictures of the city that we HAVE seen (via the internet) are gorgeous and what we've read of the history of this city is definitely intriguing. My parents seem okay with this decision, other than to frequently remind us how unbearably hot and humid the southern summers are. I personally think that A/C is one of God's greatest technological gifts to mankind. We'll see what more transpires in the next week or so as we get more information and clarity as to our timeframe and details of our living arrangements.

Choose your own adventure -- Pt. 3

2008-09-06T13:41:00.000-06:00

As it turns out, Joe and Tina will NOT be making regular sightings of Elvis -- alive-and-well, ghost, impersonator or otherwise. The church in Memphis decided to pursue a candidate with "more experience" than Joe (and older, too). So, while we're pleased to get the answer considerably before November when the church plans to fill the position, we are saddened that the answer wasn't what we had hoped for. The district superintendent has presented us with a couple of other options, and we have a 3rd option on the table.

If you'd like Tina and Joe to pursue a church-plus-Christian-school in Dothan, Alabama, read Option 1. If you think Tina and Joe should pursue a job in Mississippi and full-time seminary for Joe, read Option 2. If you think that Tina and Joe should abandon Plans B, C and D to instead return to a second shot at Plan A, read Option 3.

Option 1 -- There's a methodist church in Dothan, Alabama which is currently without a pastor. It is an Independent Methodist church and has asked the denominational superintendent from our denomination if they could "borrow" a pastor for their church. Apparently there are no Independent Methodists, so an Evangelical Methodist will have to suffice. The church has a Christian school attached to it. Dothan is located in the southeast corner of Alabama, near the border of Georgia and Florida.

Option 2 -- The district superintendent also asked us to consider pastoring a church in Natchez, Mississippi, which would pay for Joe to go to seminary full-time. While Joe would LOVE to go to seminary, our lack of funds and our large student loan debt preclude the possibility of doing this on our own. The church in Natchez has only 20 members, mostly older. The past couple of pastors haven't met with success there and the church members have discussed closing the church altogether. The superintendent wants to give it one last shot and has asked Joe to consider being the person to try and make it work. Natchez is a beautiful, historic city on the Mississippi River complete with Antebellum homes and everything. There are literally only five houses for sale in the city, the cheapest of which is $650,000. There are very few apartments for rent in the city. Not sure where we'll actually live if we choose Natchez. The upside? The church apparently pays decently (along with a housing allowance) and will pay for Joe's tuition to attend seminary in Jackson, MS.

Option 3 -- This option would have us re-apply to go on staff with Campus Crusade. For those of you who don't remember, Joe and Tina applied to go on staff with Crusade in November of 2007 -- this was our Plan A. The person handling the application caused the process to stretch until early April. We had received an answer that sounded a LOT like "not now, wait and re-apply when you're more financially stable" (which is pretty much exactly what was said). So, the day before Joe's hip surgery, we decided to take Crusade off the list. Even if we'd been accepted with open arms, Joe didn't stop walking with a walker until AFTER the date we would have left for new staff training. The possibility of raising needed support while Joe recovered seemed far-fetched. It wasn't until days after the surgery that we received word that the answer that was meant to be given should have sounded more like "yes". We stuck with our decision to take Crusade off our radar and shortly thereafter, the New Covenant ball started rolling. Now that Plans B and C have ended with unexpected results, Joe has raised the possibility of re-applying to go on staff and beginning in January of 2009, assuming we can get our acceptance and raise all the missionary support by then. Tina isn't necessarily in favor of this option, because she had mentally "written off" Crusade as an option when everything went so badly in the application process. Once she's made up her red-headed mind, its hard to go back and might take an act of God. Move the mountain or move me....

So, if you'd like to vote and give your reasons for the vote, that would be much appreciated. We've got a realtor scheduled to come look at our house to list it for sale. If we're meant to choose Option 3, selling the house seems unwise. Having some firm, clear direction would be helpful before we're not only unemployed, but also homeless. We'll see where the adventure leads next!

A lesson in leadership styles

2008-08-21T10:22:00.000-06:00

In response to recent life events, a couple of very intelligent businessmen have mentioned the term "Autocratic Leadership" -- a term I vaguely recall from a couple of business classes at MSU. I decided to do a little research to refresh my memory on what an Autocratic Leader looks like. Apparently, the term was first thrown out in 1938 by some guy Kurt Lewin. What follows are direct quotes from a couple of different websites. Since I'm not turning in a paper for my good friends Amber or Laurie, I won't bother to cite my sources and will openly admit to plagarism.

The characteristics of an autocratic style include: Work methods that are dictated by the autocratic leader; Limited employee participation in most aspects of work; and Unilateral decision making by the leader. In the autocratic style, the leader takes decisions without consulting with others. The decision is made without any form of consultation. In Lewin's experiments, he found that this caused the most level of discontent.

Autocratic leadership is an extreme form of transactional leadership, where a leader exerts high levels of power over his or her employees or team members. People within the team are given few opportunities for making suggestions, even if these would be in the team's or organization’s interest. Most people tend to resent being treated like this. Because of this, autocratic leadership usually leads to high levels of absenteeism and staff turnover. Also, the team's output does not benefit from the creativity and experience of all team members, so many of the benefits of teamwork are lost. For some routine and unskilled jobs, however, this style can remain effective where the advantages of control outweigh the disadvantages.

I wasn't sure what Transactional Leadership was, so I decided to look that up, too. Again, what follows is direct plagarism from the internet.

Transactional Leadership -- This style of leadership starts with the premise that team members agree to obey their leader totally when they take a job on: the “transaction” is (usually) that the organization pays the team members, in return for their effort and compliance. As such, the leader has the right to “punish” team members if their work doesn’t meet the pre-determined standard. Team members can do little to improve their job satisfaction under transactional leadership. The leader could give team members some control of their income/reward by using incentives that encourage even higher standards or greater productivity. Alternatively a transactional leader could practice “management by exception”, whereby, rather than rewarding better work, he or she would take corrective action if the required standards were not met.
Transactional leadership is really just a way of managing rather a true leadership style, as the focus is on short-term tasks. It has serious limitations for knowledge-based or creative work, but remains a common style in many organizations.

I hope everyone who reads this will learn a few things about leadership that they didn't know before. If nothing else, its a great piece of useless information that could come in handy while playing Trivial Pursuit or watching Jeopardy.

Memphis bound?

2008-08-19T12:49:00.000-06:00

Joe and I are one step closer to being Memphis-bound. He received another call from the District Superintendent who had met at length with the church board in Memphis. He said the church board would call within the next few days. The superintendent had more to say about the church, particularly that the church will pay us a decent salary, housing allowance (enough that we can live IN Bartlett, TN, which is a nice community), and will re-imburse us for our health insurance. The church building itself is pretty small and isn't that much to look at. I've only seen the satellite view of it -- isn't the internet amazing?! The superintendent said the church board is looking to start the building process in the next few years because they are planning for growth. The church, Grace Community Church of Memphis, was planted about 15 years ago and I think might have originally been a United Methodist Church, but is now within the doctrinally more conservative Evangelical Methodist denomination. The board chairman called tonight at around 7 p.m. and spoke to Joe for about a half hour. He wants Joe to send him a DVD of a sermon. He said the church would like to have the position filled by Thanksgiving, but we're not sure if he means the decision will be made by Thanksgiving, or the deicison will be made sooner but that the church wants the person's transition to the church to be complete by then. We're hoping for the latter and that we'll know something MUCH sooner than November.

For now, we're busy with praying while we get our house ready to put on the market. Right now I'm sporting flecks of white paint from the exterior of the house and I keep eyeing my possessions with the thought of a possible garage sale. I've never hosted a garage sale that wasn't a fundraiser for a mission trip! Anybody have any stuff they want to donate to the cause of Tina and Joe not starving for the next month? Anybody know of a job we can do for the next couple of months?

Waiting on Memphis...

2008-08-13T16:17:00.000-06:00

Ooops, now I have a Cher song stuck in my head....or was it Marc Cohn. Oh well.

Joe and I are still playing the waiting game. We've pretty much narrowed the search to the job in Memphis. He has talked to the denominational District Superintendent twice now, who has most recently told us that the proverbial ball is in the church's court. The next step will be for the church board to sift through a small handful of resumes (including Joe's) and decide to invite us for a visit. It won't be just a visit, of course, because most people don't visit a church with a sermon in hand. The District Superintendent suggested it might not be till late August or early September that we're invited to candidate at the church, however. To pass the time, we've decided to do all the home repair projects we can afford with the last of our paychecks. We're talking about going ahead and putting our house on the market after we've finished these little projects. Don't be too impressed. Our list includes things like touch-up painting, fixing the screened in porch, fixing the garage door opener, replacing the caulk around the bathtup, etc. No major remodeling here. We won't be featured on any HGTV, DIY or TLC shows anytime soon. We've been online several times looking at housing in Memphis. There's one really promising house we both like a lot. Its on 1.5 acres north of the city on Lake Windermere. The property is shaped oddly so the house doesn't actually look out on the water, although part of the land is on the waterfront. Lots of trees. I can't tell what the house itself looks like on the outside, but it appears to have two dormer windows on the front, a detached 2-car garage off to the side, a screened in porch off the back. The pictures of the inside show a FABULOUS kitchen with an island in the middle and one of those fancy hoods over the stove. There's a fireplace and the window next to the hearth has a long, attractive window-seat. There's a clawfooted tub in one bathroom and a jetted tub and separate shower in the master bathroom. There's also a separate laundry room/mudroom. The price was recently reduced so that it is well within our price-range if we get the Memphis job....and its a mere five miles from the church (as opposed to the 30-mile drive we currently "enjoy"). My prayer is that the job and house work out with plenty of time to spare so that we don't have to move twice. That there are no problems with the house or neighborhood. That the church will be a good fit for both Joe and I. That our ministry will be something that God can use to help the church and community grow. That we'll make friends and feel like we "fit" in the South. That if Memphis is NOT where God is leading us, He will show us SOON and open up the right door IMMEDIATLY. That we will not end up living in a van down by the river.

Choose Your Own Adventure -- Pt. 2

2008-08-02T09:54:00.000-06:00

You chose to have Tina and Joe pursue the job in Memphis.

Since my last posting, the job in Minneapolis has officially been filled -- by someone other than Joe. This is not that big of a deal, since Joe technically put his resume in the pile AFTER they had already filled the position...which does make it a lot trickier to get hired. Since the cost-of-living in Minneapolis is so high, it would have probably been near impossible to fulfill my deep love of sweaters on our budget anyway, so it isn't that big of a loss. The word about the MN job came the day after a disappointing call regarding the Memphis job. Sounds like a Mafia-oriented movie, doesn't it -- "The Memphis Job" coming soon to a theatre near you. But I digress...So on Wednesday, we got a call that gave the impression that Joe isn't entirely in the running for the Memphis job for a variety of reasons. This was disappointing, of course, and the further narrowing of our options made it seem more and more likely that we'd be shopping for a van and riverfront parking to begin our new life as homeless people. Fortunately, the person Joe spoke to on Wednesday was replaced on Friday by a new person who seems very in favor of considering Joe for the Memphis job. So, van-shopping plans are on hold for now and we're back to praying for opportunities that involve Blues, BBQ and regular trips to Graceland.

The next Choose Your Own Adventure will decide if Joe and Tina should pursue a love of The King (Elvis) or the King of Kings (and Lord of Lords). That one seems like a no-brainer....Elvis is dead, but my God is living in me!

My Life as a Choose Your Own Adventure

2008-07-30T17:56:00.000-06:00

Since recently deciding to resign from NCA, the options Joe and I are considering are pretty wide-ranging and we're having a difficult time narrowing the choices. I decided to let my blog become a Choose Your Own Adventure story like the ones I used to read when I was a kid (back in the mid to late 80's the books had different "paths" you could take as you read and it usually affected the outcome, so you could re-read and pick different paths each time). So, we officially resigned on July 21st (although we resigned in our hearts more like July 9th) and we started pursuing other opportunities immediately. If you think Joe and Tina should go to Memphis, TN read about the first option. If you think Joe and Tina should go to Minneapolis, MN, read the second option. If you think Joe and Tina should move to Fresno, CA, read the third option. If you think Joe and Tina should remain in Springfield, read the fourth option.

The first option we considered was to pastor a church in Memphis, Tennessee. Joe was asked earlier this summer to consider this position. Memphis is a cool, albeit somewhat crime-ridden city with a ton of culture and music and good food to offer. The church is within our denomination (Evangelical Methodist, a conservative version of Methodist) and is located in a somewhat affluent part of the city. The previous pastor was paid well enough that he could comfortably support his family of four and his wife worked part-time as the church secretary. They were the church's only staff to serve the 100-member congregation. Since Joe and I would LOVE to work together in ministry, this would be a good fit and I would enjoy getting to do stuff like marketing, web-design, PowerPoints, the bulletin, and other technology stuff to support Joe's ministry. If we moved to Memphis for this church, we would need to sell our house here (which means we would have to get our house ready to sell ASAP), and find a house to live in there. The only catch to this option is that Joe isn't the only person applying for the job and the church isn't in a big hurry to make this decision. Since Joe and I have been waiting on one job or another to be decided upon since NOVEMBER of last year, then more waiting seems dreadful.

Option Two. When Joe and I first started dating, he was headed off for a summer of ministry on the East Coast with an organization called Youthworks! (the exclamation point is in the name of the ministry, not added for emphasis). He worked to oversee ministry staff who worked with short-term youth mission groups in Pennsylvania, upstate New York and Maine. The bigwigs at Youthworks! really like Joe and have in the past to move to Minneapolis and come on staff full-time as a Regional Director with their ministry. In the past, this position was one that required a lot of travel. Recently, they made changes to how the position works and the bulk of the work is now done out of the offices in Minneapolis, with only occasional trips to locations. If we pursued this option, he would most certainly be offered the job, but we wouldn't be able to work together in ministry. I would have to get a job with demands/hours that might not line up with Joe's. The upside: Minneapolis is a cold-climate location which fits nicely with my love of sweaters. Same rules apply to selling our house ASAP and finding housing in Minneapolis ASAP.

Option Three. This option is one of our least favorites, as California seems like a bit of a death-trap at present. What isn't on fire seems to be shaking with a 5.4 earthquake or filled with maniac paparrazzi. Anyway, Joe was recently told of a church in Fresno that is in need of a youth pastor. While he has worked as a youth pastor for several years, he feels like going back to work as a youth pastor at the age of 39 seems...well, exhausting. Youth pastors need to be energetic enough to stay up weird hours at things like lock-ins and need to be able to play basketball or paintball or other stereotypical youth-oriented events. Joe likes that adults are content to sit and talk, rather than pelt one another with paintballs. And he likes to sleep. If we pursued Option Three, we would need a big fatty salary to afford to live in Fresno AND we would need some sort of medication to give us the energy to keep up with youth in the way that effective youth ministry demands. Plus, we'd need to become more alert to avoid being anywhere near Britney Spears or Lindsey Lohan or anyone else interesting enough to draw paparrazzi. Other than hearing that the church in Fresno is looking for a youth pastor, we haven't done anything to pursue this option.

Finally, Option Four. We COULD reman in Springfield, but that would most likely involve selling our house and living in a van down by the river. If you'd like us to live in a van down by the river, then shame on you.

There are actually a couple of other "options" that are varying degrees iffy -- Bartlesville, OK; Colorado Springs, CO, and Hungary (as in the European country, not the state of wanting a snack). Feedback on what you would do if you were us? What adventure would you choose?

Reasons for leaving

2008-07-20T16:21:00.002-06:00

I believe God places people in positions of authority and we are commanded to respect the authority figures in our life for this reason. Whether secular or religious positions, government, business or private settings; the position of authority over us should be treated with dignity. Recently, I called into question the manner in which one of my authority figures was making a decision. The implications of the decision were huge and the long, often confusing wait for resolution has left my future uncertain. In my frustration, stress and uncertainty, I vocalized my thoughts in a way that showed doubt toward the person making the decision and ultimately made her feel disrespected. While it wasn’t my intent to hurt her feelings, especially in any public manner, I unfortunately chose a forum that wasn’t entirely private to discuss my thoughts with a trusted friend. I have apologized to the people involved and regret my actions. Our words need to be chosen carefully. We should use our words to encourage, uplift, exhort and put people at ease. Instead, we so often use our words in a way that leaves people wondering where they stand, feeling like they don’t matter, or feeling disrespected and hurt.

The process my husband and I have gone through for the past two months has led to much discussion of our future and the direction we should take. The uncertainty of this decision and the weighty implications attached to it have caused us to look at all our options. Much introspection has followed these long weeks of waiting and the decision to leave NCA to pursue other ministry options has been considered with increasing thought and prayer. Much has gone into this decision. While we realize the implications of our leaving NCA and how others will be at least temporarily affected, we also realize that we need to minister in a place where we can both be truly effective.

I will terribly miss NCA and, particularly, the people in it. So many wonderful memories have been made in the past six years. When I took the job in 2002, I wondered just what I had gotten myself into. Soon, I began making connections and memories that I still cherish today. There are my precious Drama Lovelies and our productions. My little ducklings. My fake husband, our fake lunch dates and fake anniversaries. There’s mattress surfing and tenting on retreats. There was fake matchmaking and the Newlywed game in Bible. Canoeing with girls who are afraid of snakes. Having an endless string of offers from parents, students and school cooks to fix me up with their uncles, brothers, sons, youth pastors and milkmen. Sweet tea and Texas sheet cake (“Tina Day”). OSU Orange. Getting engaged in the gym. Geckos in Belize. Praying with hurting students who have shared their burdens. MU vs. KU. Using “Talladega Nights” in a chapel talk. Teambuilding games involving Spam, mashed potatoes, caramel onions and pudding in diapers. Most importantly I will never forget the people who love me and have become an extended family I’ve chosen for myself.

For those of you who remain at NCA, I’d like to offer you a challenge. Make the most of where ever God places you. For now, He has placed you at NCA. Learn, seek, listen and someday you will look back and be grateful for all the things you take away from it all. Regardless of how good or bad it seems to you in the moment, seek to squeeze all the wisdom and knowledge you can out of these years. Life offers many opportunities -- some draw you closer to God’s will and others drag you away when you aren’t guarding carefully. Be careful not to foster a heart of apathy, resentment, bitterness or rebellion because those attitudes will become a prison that robs you of joy and blessing. Most importantly, don’t waste a moment or a word on something you’ll regret later. Choose carefully and thoughtfully even in the little stuff. Meditate upon Galatians 5:16 - 6:10 and you’ll go far. I’ll miss you all!

Red hair and the accompanying fire

2008-07-10T20:23:00.000-06:00

Recently I experienced some anger that I truly believe was righteous anger following months and months of an emotional roller coaster ride and finding out there was yet another twist in the path instead of the long-awaited promised resolution. In the frustration of the moment, the fire in my red hair sparked and I expressed my thoughts in a manner that was probably not the most wise. Sometimes my hair (and my mouth) gets me into trouble. There are decisions to be made and much prayer is going into what those decisions will be. Luckily, I know exactly what I want. I want what most people want -- I want to matter. I want someone to appreciate me for who I am and be forgiven for what I sometimes mistakenly do. I want to work/minister in an environment where I have the freedom in Christ that He has promised me. I want clarity and not confusion, communication and not secrets, appreciation and not abuse. I want to utilize my gifts, interests, experience, and abilities. I want to be asked my opinion and be seen as an expert in my field. I want to respect and be respected. I want to know what the future holds and I want to know that it lines up perfectly with God's will. I want a job that pays well enough that I don't cry at bill time and leaves enough leftover to be a wise steward. I want to work in ministry with my husband and I want an work/home environment that will be healthy for the children we adopt. I want to be a wife who blesses her husband and I want to be a mom who makes a difference in my children. I want to be remembered well by those who know me. I want people to cry and laugh at my funeral and be sad that I'm gone, but happy that I'm with my Jesus. Even a redhead like me can hope to get what she wants out of life.

Circling the airport almost out of fuel

2008-07-09T20:25:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I think in analogies, which someone once told me was a sign of intelligence -- I think its a sign of weirdness and possibly insanity. After almost two months of waiting, another reason to wait on an answer has been placed in front of us. I have started thinking about options and am feeling a little overwhelmed (understatement). I've decided that it feels like I'm flying an airplane, circling the airport waiting to be cleared for landing. Only I've been waiting so long that I'm almost out of fuel and need to decide if I should wait to land at this airport or try to find another airport -- but I feel dangerously close to crashing any minute. No option that is open to Joe and I in our current situation feels particularly safe or even attractive. Crashing the plane seems almost the best option because then we'll be sitting with Jesus with no worries. Surely an answer will come soon and we'll find safe landing somewhere and just in time. A good friend of mine told me that God made the oil last for the widow and her son and he'll do the same with my faith "fuel" as I wait for an answer. Good words that I'm praying are true today.

Seriously!?

2008-06-17T11:33:00.000-06:00

Okay, so we've been waiting for an important decision to be made about the job Joe was applying for, but plans have changed after passing the benchmarks for when we were supposed to hear something....which means more waiting. I LOVE waiting.

On the upside, Joe and I found a house that is promising and is a lot of house for much less than market value -- all due to the current owner's "disagreement" with the IRS on how best handle tax debt. It's a house with some fun character and charm -- although it doesn't have a face. We've also put a call in to Division of Family Services to find out how the adoption process works and how long it will take. It's a first step -- even if we're just now finding out exactly HOW to take it.

Stuck in Fast-Forward

2008-06-06T13:57:00.000-06:00

So I'm realizing that my brain is hazardously stuck in fast-forward mode. I keep thinking about the future and wishing it would hurry up and get here....which means I'm forgetting to enjoy present-tense. Since deciding not to go on staff with Crusade in the fall, Joe and I were praying about another position which DID open up. Joe applied and had a great interview. Unfortunately, right after the interview they instituted a hiring freeze which means...you guessed it.....more waiting for Joe and Tina. Okay, I get it. Patience is the lesson for my lifetime. Enough already. I think the job is going to work out for Joe and I think it'll be something that might work out long-term. We're thinking about the possibilities of what we could do with this job and how it might affect our future with our kids. That brings me to the other fast-forward thinking that has plagued my brain. I keep catching myself on the Heart Gallery website checking out pictures of kids who need adoptive parents AND on the local real-estate website checking out houses that we could live in WITH adoptive children. We can't afford any of these dreams until Joe gets a different job and we're not spending all our money on gas to drive to Joe's job. For now its all dreams and I need to slow them all down so I don't get weary of not having what I think I'd like to have as soon as I'd like to have it.

Crusade Update

2008-05-12T10:10:00.000-06:00

Somewhere along the way Joe and I finally made a decision about joining staff for Campus Crusade. Something went awry and the application process took FAR longer than it was supposed to. With Joe's hip surgery in early April and recovery lasting into late-May, we knew there wasn't enough time to raise support before new staff training in June. So, with heavy (and slightly frustrated) hearts we decided to put it off for a year. We're currently praying that the a position will open up so that Joe will make more than $16,000/year which puts us in the income category of people who can afford frivolous things like ice cream. There it is for now....I'll publish more in a year or so!

I confess, I'm guilty of coveting...

2008-05-12T09:59:00.000-06:00

For Mother's Day, my mom and I went on a homes tour in the Rountree neighborhood. For those of you not familiar with the Rountree neighborhood, its the neighborhood where all the yuppies live...all cute older homes in styles with names like "bungalow", "cottage", "Cape Cod" or "Colonial"...homes with lots of special details like hardwood floors, built-in bookshelves, claw-footed bathtubs, and gorgeous fireplaces with custom mantles. I think my profile says something about my desire to someday live in a house with a face. Several of the homes in the Rountree neighborhood have a face -- two dormer windows for eyes and the front door set in the middle so the overall effect looks like that old-school Disney cartoon where the houses had a face. Well, I now need to append my dream house description, the "Miracle on 34th Street" description of what I will someday tell Santa if I ever meet him for real. In addition to the house having a face, I also want there to be a set of stairs that greets you at the front door and I want a second set of stairs to come down into the kitchen. I want interesting details like built-in bookshelves in the living room and a built-in buffet in the dining room. I want french doors leading in to the master bedroom. I want a shower that feels like warm rain falling on my head. I want at least one room that is painted Happy Green. I want a screened in porch that feels like the spot you want to spend the rest of your life. I want a porch swing with colorful pillows on it, inviting you to sit a spell and drink sweet tea or fresh-squeezed lemonade. Anyone want to make a $200,000 donation toward this dream? Or maybe you know the real Santa Claus and are willing to introduce me?

waiting............................

2008-04-04T14:44:00.000-06:00

"Wait upon the Lord"....it was a verse that was given to me by God over and over and over again as I waited for God to reveal His plans for relationships. I was 32 when I met my husband and 33 when we married....about seven years later than I had "planned" to be married (men plan, God laughs). I thought I'd finally conquered patience and had developed enough self-control to wait without frustration and anguish. This wait on learning if we'd be accepted to go on staff with Crusade has REALLY tested my patience and faith. Do I trust that our decision is right -- especially now that the wait has dragged on for over six months? OR do I see it as a sign that the decision is the wrong one and that the answer will be "no"? We are supposed to find out today....but its almost 4 p.m. and we've gotten no answer yet. "Be strong and take heart and wait upon the Lord"......

Prayer for Rachel

2008-03-16T13:53:00.000-06:00

Tina's friend Rachel is in the hospital and needs to make it another 24 hours without going into labor so that she'll then enter a slightly lower-risk prenatal group. She's just over 20 weeks and her water broke. Fifteen percent of women make it through the first 48 hours without delivering the baby. Of those 15% who make it that long, they have a 50% chance of making it to the date needed for the baby to be born and placed on a ventilator -- if the mom stays on strict bedrest. Right now, it looks like if Rachel makes it to Monday with the baby, they will keep her in prenatal ICU until she gives birth. If she can make it 14 weeks, the baby could be placed on a ventilator and have fewer complications and risk for health problems. Pray that the God of heaven who created the unborn child in her womb would place his hands around the little child and protect her. Pray for Rachel and Peter, who are scared. Pray that if she lasts and looks ahead at 14 weeks of bedrest, that Rachel will have the stamina and patience to endure the long, LONG days and weeks ahead.

Bummed for the bummed...

2008-03-12T12:51:00.000-06:00

I recently read the class blog of some of my students' writing. Many of these students are seniors who posted details about not getting into the college they wanted or not getting the scholarship they had applied for. I'm really sad for them. I never dreamed that the competition was so tight that these students, STARS among students, the kind of bright shiny apple students who every teacher loves to teach, that THESE students would struggle to reach their goals in college. These are students with 4.0 gpa's who have been in multiple sports and multiple fine arts and who have served their communities. I would never have dreamed that these amazing young people would have trouble getting scholarships or acceptance to programs. I know God is good and that He has a plan laid out for them as promised in Jeremiah 29:11. I know that as Psalm 139 states that God had the days planned out for them before they were ever born. But, this doesn't seem like a very clear plan to me. My human eyes have a hard time seeing God's plans including struggle for those kids who've done the right things and worked so hard. I guess we were never promised an easy life where we always get what we want. My humanness gets in the way of understanding that. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the story for these students. If the answer to their first question was "no", then I can't wait to see what the "yes" is. It must really be something good.

Snow Days!

2008-02-21T14:19:00.000-06:00

They say that if you don't like the weather in Missouri, wait a few minutes and it'll probably change. This winter has definitely fit that old saying. We've had weather in the 60s followed closely by ice storms, sleet, freezing rain and the rare glimpse of snow. When I was a kid, I remember snow, and not just a light dusting either. I remember making snowmen and snow angels and throwing snowballs at my brother's head. The past few years we've barely had enough winter precipitation to warrant a snowday. Teachers LOVE snowdays! This year, however, has made up for the past five years or so that have been so snow-less. Today, in fact, I'm writing this entry on the 6th of our snowdays. We had freezing rain and sleet last night in enough quantity to call off school for the safety of all involved. While cleaning off my car, Truman decided he should help by hopping from the curb up to the hood of the car. I think he was playing his own private game of "King of the Hill". I think dogs like snowdays too!

Successful First Adoption

2008-01-29T14:10:00.000-06:00

On Saturday, January 19, Joe and I decided to head to PetsMart to "just look" at the dogs. Typically, Joe allows me this little treat with the warning that "we shouldn't adopt a dog YET so don't do more than JUST look". This particular Saturday, though, we came across this cute, sweet-faced, and VERY calm terrier mix named "Scooter" (more on the name later). I don' t know if the pouty face I made was just more effective on the 19th of January than it ever had been before or if Joe really did want to adopt a dog, because he said we should think about it. Before you know it, we were filling out adoption paperwork and making plans to bring our new dog home for good. Ever since my time at Mizzou, I have wanted a dog named Truman (after the Mizzou mascot -- weird, since the mascot is actually a cat). I just thought it was a cute name, PLUS it was an excellent way to show team spirit. Joe, however, really likes the name Yadier (spelling?) after the baseball player. So, we decided to rename Scooter to be Truman Yadier Miller. He never actually answered to the name Scooter, so it wasn't terribly traumatic for him to change names. Truman is pretty hilarious, but is also extremely cowardly. He won't pee or poop unless Joe or I are in the backyard with him and he won't eat unless one of us is in the kitchen with him. When we go on walks, he's afraid of everything and doesn't like to get far enough from home that he can't see our house anymore. On the upside, he is VERY loyal and he doesn't bark. He is mostly housebroken and has taken to the leash really quickly. He sleeps through the night and, as far as I can tell, he would never run away even if the opportunity were presented. If only all our adoptions could go this smoothly, we'd have it made! Oh, and when we went to pick Truman up from his original owner, a farmer who took in Truman's then-pregnant mom, we found out why he had been named "Scooter". Apparently ALL of Farmer Mike's boy dogs were named Scooter and ALL the girl dogs were named Lucy. Made it easy to remember their names, I guess.

It's the Holiday Season...

2007-11-14T13:38:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays!!!
Okay, that's not a politically correct greeting meant to squeeze Christ out of Christmas and make followers all the non-Christian religions or atheists feel more comfortable. I just thought I'd simplify my greeting for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I could just say "Merry Christmas" and be fine, forgetting about a "Happy Thanksgiving" greeting. Since we went IMMEDIATLY from Halloween decorations/candy/etc. in stores to Christmas stuff, Thanksgiving gets forgotten in all its triptophan-laden glory. Thanksgiving IS an important holiday. I'm looking forward to turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, unusual casseroles that don't have a memorable name but are tasty nonetheless...all are worthy of celebration. Plus, its a time that we are encouraged to say "thank you" to God for all the blessings He has given us for the year. Thanks for good health; family and friends who love me; a job that uses my skills and pays the bills; a safe, warm house to call home; a wonderful first year of marriage to an amazing husband; and, most importantly, the salvation bought by a savior who loved me despite forgetting to consistently say thank you on all the other 364 days out of the year. So, enjoy the great dinner and the triptophan-induced nap you'll take later that afternoon while watching football...just don't forget the THANKS part of Thanksgiving day.

Campus Crusade for Christ

2007-10-05T14:31:00.000-06:00

I've been at 100% for a while and Joe is finally at about 98% in our decision to go on staff with Campus Crusade. We've been talking about it for a few months and have met with the campus director and his wife to discuss the possibility. The application packet is 54 pages! That's 54 pages for each of us. 108 pages as a couple. We'll be writing into eternity. The benefits of Crusade are MANY. First and foremost, Joe and I will get to work TOGETHER. That's HUGE. Right now his down time and mine tend to run opposite one another. Secondly, it's a wonderful organization that encourages a lot of creative, outside-the-box thinking -- which is the perfect work environment for a couple of non-traditional thinkers like us. We're also both great at relational ministry and most enjoy working with college-age students. It's also a great place to raise kids. Plus we both love to travel and there are TONS of travel opportunities in Campus Crusade. All in all, we're pretty pumped to start the application process and find out for sure whether or not our 100+98% decision is in line with God's will.

Where Did the Summer Go?

2007-08-24T09:47:00.000-06:00

You know when you were a kid and you used to sing the song "School's out, school's out...teachers let the monkeys out"? It wasn't until I became an educator that I realized that a teacher most likely originated that song. I'm convinced that teachers enjoy their summers more than students ever could. Now that school is back in session and life is back to full-swing, I'm remembering why I was so glad to "let the monkeys out" in May. Setting the alarm at 6 a.m. is a unpleasant reality I had somehow repressed throughout the summer. The buzzing of the clock now faces me like a firing squad each morning. I'm sure Joe is both annoyed and amuzed by the torturous moan that escapes me each morning as I slap at the alarm in the darkness. Does 6:00 REALLY need to happen TWICE each day? Really? The only bonus to the whole deal is that when school is in session, that means that the school cooks are also in session. I forgot how much I enjoyed my daily dose of sweet iced tea, brewed to perfection. I suppose that's the way life works -- you take the good with the bad and somehow it all works out okay.

Back-to-School Blast was a Success!!!

2007-08-13T11:20:00.000-06:00

Thanks to everyone who prayed for the Back-to-School Blast at church. We had a ton of volunteers taking family photos, giving free haircuts, doing face painting, running inflatable games, teaching about fire safety, cooking, and passing out school supplies. We had at least five brand new families come, as well as many returning families who came to VBS earlier this summer. One new family who came was excited about the school pictures because she had been unable to afford school pictures of her kids for the past several years. They greatly appreciated the opportunity to take family pictures and then to receive all their needed school supplies and $100 worth of gift cards to use on new clothes! It was fun and exciting to see so many people getting connected in a non-threatening way with a loving church family. The only downside to the whole day was the 100+ heat index.

Outreach Event

2007-08-09T10:58:00.000-06:00

This weekend (Aug. 11) is the Back-to-School Blast Joe is planning as an outreach for children's church. We've targeted the kids who came to VBS earlier this summer. Many of these families have no church home and are (hopefully) somewhat open to some level of church attendance, at least by their children. It is our prayer that the outreach will be a great tool to help families feel comfortable in church and will meet enough people to feel like they know at least a few faces if they venture into an actual church service.

At the Back-to-School blast, there will be free food, inflatable games, fire safety demonstrations and school supply giveaways. We've had lots and lots of donations, including 50 gift certificates for $50 each! God is good and so are His people!