Things I've learned about myself in the past year...
For those of you who regularly follow the blog, you probably see a lot of fluff. Stories about childhood or dreams, lists of favorites. I'm sure it is entertaining enough, but where is the depth? This blog doesn't do depth very often. So, I decided to reflect and put the product of my introspection in writing for the world to see. Here are the things I have learned about myself in the past 18 months or so.
First of all, I have learned just how impatient I am. I knew God was working on teaching me patience when He waited 32 years to introduce me to the husband I had been praying, no BEGGING God to give me. I thought I had mastered it when I gave up dating and decided to wait on God to wow me (which He did...Joe is all 25 items on "the List"). And then Joe and I applied to go on staff with Campus Crusade and then we went through plans B - E to make it to Minneapolis. In winter. The worst winter they've had in a long time. Are you kidding me? Okay, so I am impatient. And I'm kind of a brat about it. If I'm God's adopted daughter then I'm his really spoiled rotten, whiny brat of a daughter.
Second thing I have learned about myself: I am great at big ideas and starting new, creative projects. But I'm not great at finishing them. I tend to fizzle when the new, grand scheme gets tough to carry out. Or I get bored. So bored I won't even finish this paragraph.
The brutal Minnesota winter taught me that if given a choice between cold and hot, I'd rather be hot. I used to say I'd rather be cold. I used to say how much I LOVE sweaters. My logic was that you could always wear more layers. Which is true. But Minnesota taught me that the cold can be insidious and unescapable. After four or five months of goose bumps (underneath three layers of clothing) I'm tired of being cold. I'm ready to sweat. Bring it on. I'm ready for it...I've got deodorant.
Next, I have learned that I'm not nearly as independent and self-sufficient as I thought I was. For the first 32 years of my life my favorite story about my childhood is that my first sentence was "I do it!" My parents "lovingly" recall the many times I shrugged off help or instruction as a child, opting instead to figure it out for myself in yet another fit of independence. I wasn't rebellious. I was stubborn. Now that I am blissfully wed to my best friend in the world, I'm not as independent as I thought I was. He is gone for the too-long Youthworks summer and I'm once again living the life of independence. Just me, myself and my dog making it in this great big crazy world. But I don't want to do it myself anymore. I want Joe to be by my side while I figure it out for myself. I want him to be my partner in crime. I guess independence is no longer my middle name.
I have also learned that I am more of a feeler than the Myers-Briggs gave me credit for. I have cried more in the past 18 months than in my whole life before that. It doesn't even have to be crying about real life, either. I cry at Hallmark commercials. I used to laugh at people who cried at Hallmark commercials.
The greatest thing I have learned about myself is that I am not that important. I sometimes wish I was important, that I was the person whose opinion was sought by the masses. But, I'm not that important and that's pretty okay. I'm very important to my husband and maybe even my dog. I think my friends and family love me. More importantly, my Father/Creator/Savior loves me. And that's pretty great. I guess I don't need much more than that. I'm sure I've learned more than that, but my fingers are tired from typing all day.
First of all, I have learned just how impatient I am. I knew God was working on teaching me patience when He waited 32 years to introduce me to the husband I had been praying, no BEGGING God to give me. I thought I had mastered it when I gave up dating and decided to wait on God to wow me (which He did...Joe is all 25 items on "the List"). And then Joe and I applied to go on staff with Campus Crusade and then we went through plans B - E to make it to Minneapolis. In winter. The worst winter they've had in a long time. Are you kidding me? Okay, so I am impatient. And I'm kind of a brat about it. If I'm God's adopted daughter then I'm his really spoiled rotten, whiny brat of a daughter.
Second thing I have learned about myself: I am great at big ideas and starting new, creative projects. But I'm not great at finishing them. I tend to fizzle when the new, grand scheme gets tough to carry out. Or I get bored. So bored I won't even finish this paragraph.
The brutal Minnesota winter taught me that if given a choice between cold and hot, I'd rather be hot. I used to say I'd rather be cold. I used to say how much I LOVE sweaters. My logic was that you could always wear more layers. Which is true. But Minnesota taught me that the cold can be insidious and unescapable. After four or five months of goose bumps (underneath three layers of clothing) I'm tired of being cold. I'm ready to sweat. Bring it on. I'm ready for it...I've got deodorant.
Next, I have learned that I'm not nearly as independent and self-sufficient as I thought I was. For the first 32 years of my life my favorite story about my childhood is that my first sentence was "I do it!" My parents "lovingly" recall the many times I shrugged off help or instruction as a child, opting instead to figure it out for myself in yet another fit of independence. I wasn't rebellious. I was stubborn. Now that I am blissfully wed to my best friend in the world, I'm not as independent as I thought I was. He is gone for the too-long Youthworks summer and I'm once again living the life of independence. Just me, myself and my dog making it in this great big crazy world. But I don't want to do it myself anymore. I want Joe to be by my side while I figure it out for myself. I want him to be my partner in crime. I guess independence is no longer my middle name.
I have also learned that I am more of a feeler than the Myers-Briggs gave me credit for. I have cried more in the past 18 months than in my whole life before that. It doesn't even have to be crying about real life, either. I cry at Hallmark commercials. I used to laugh at people who cried at Hallmark commercials.
The greatest thing I have learned about myself is that I am not that important. I sometimes wish I was important, that I was the person whose opinion was sought by the masses. But, I'm not that important and that's pretty okay. I'm very important to my husband and maybe even my dog. I think my friends and family love me. More importantly, my Father/Creator/Savior loves me. And that's pretty great. I guess I don't need much more than that. I'm sure I've learned more than that, but my fingers are tired from typing all day.
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