For the Boys
A few weeks ago I went on a long rant about the slavery we women too often choose -- slavery to our need for the acceptance and affection we are meant to receive from our husbands. If you haven't read it, please do. I'm really proud of that post. It really was written for women -- particularly single women. But, I encourage guys to read it too so they can understand the ladies in their lives. Today's post is primarily for the men out there. Perhaps you found yourself hurt or jealous that my rant was directed at women. You felt left out. Maybe you thought "Gee, she makes a lot of sense here....I wish she would write a lengthy diatribe directed at my gender." Your wish is my command.
In my post about women and their "treasure worth waiting for" I talked about how women received a curse when Eve, the first woman, chose her own way in the garden. God gave her and her man one rule and they broke it. God handed down a couple of curses. For the woman her pains in childbirth were greatly increased and her "desire would be for [her] husband and he will lord it over [her]".
Today's blog post will deal with the "and he will lord it over her" portion of that curse.
In my post to the ladies, I took great pains to point out that, while it is a struggle women face, it's not an inevitability from which we have no hope. Women struggle to feel lovable, desirable, beautiful....but God provided us a new way of living -- living in the abundant promise of our Father, the King. And, likewise, just because the curse states that "he" (meaning all potential husbands, in other words, all men) will "lord it over her" doesn't mean that men have no hope of a different behavior. Men, you are unfortunately bent toward taking advantage of this need in women. That's why it is so easy to lead women on with flirtation that may feel innocent to you. Even if you don't intend to hurt the women in your life, it too often comes easily because of the tendency buried in this curse. Let's take it a step further. Do you view pornography, either in magazines or videos? Do you go to strip clubs or other places where women's bodies are on display for your pleasure? Do you let your computer or smart phone lead you to websites where images of women let your mind wander to what you might do to her? Do you pick up women at bars for the full intent of sleeping with them once and nothing more -- in essence, using her as a prostitute?
It might feel good in the moment, but let's think for a moment of the conversation you might have with your future wife about these choices. How do you feel about saying the words "I'm sorry, my love, but my mind's eye contains images of other women's naked bodies and I can't help but compare you to them." Maybe you would like to have this conversation: "I want to honor and cherish you forever....you are more special to me than all those women I had one night stands with when I was in college." How do you think your lovely bride will feel about these conversations? How do you think she will feel about herself as she considers the comparisons you must surely make in your mind -- as she wonders if you are disappointed in her sexuality compared to the other women you have "been with"?
How about the women you are taking advantage of? When you view women in pornography or at a strip club, you are taking advantage of her body -- your eyes are committing rape. You are looking at her body without any intent of honoring, cherishing and protecting her. Think about that woman as a five year old girl. When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, do you think she drew a picture of herself with a stripper pole? How about that girl as a 10 year old. In her essay about her future career, do you think she wrote "I hope I have big boobies when I grow up so that boys can pleasure themselves in the shower while thinking about me"? Think about your future wife. How would you feel if she revealed that she went through a desperate period of time and could only support herself financially by posing for pornography or working in a strip club. Does it make your heart glad to think about all the men who lusted after her body?
So, if God has provided a new way of living to women, what is the new way of living God has provided to men? For one thing, God has given you free will to choose your behavior. You benefit from a woman wearing sexy clothes or allowing herself to be used sexually in order to meet her need for affection. But is that benefit worth what it does to your soul? Is it worth knowing that you are bringing harm to that girl? You have a choice. You can choose to live by the "boys will be boys" adage, letting yourself off the hook for bad behavior toward women. Or you can truly live up to the man Christ calls you to be. Cherish your future wife by protecting your eyes and your mind from the pollution of pornography. Choose to honor the daughters of the King of Kings by refusing to misuse their bodies for your own temporary pleasure. Be more than just a slave to the sinful nature that lures you into the prison of lust. Refuse to allow your mind to be controlled by images that lead you to regret or guilt. In fact, don't give your mind over to anything other than Christ. Run from lust. Don't let your eyes linger on a woman's too-short skirt or low cut top. Refuse to let your computer mouse click on the link to pornography. Burn the copies of Playboy you keep hidden under your bed. Pray for your future wife -- or if you're already married, pray for your wife. Beg God to protect your mind from thinking about any woman other than your beautiful bride. If your mind does flit over to a lustful thought then stop the thought in its tracks and don't give it a chance to take root. Find another guy to hold you accountable in this area and be gut-level honest with your struggles and successes. Ask him to pray with you for freedom from the prison of unhealthy habits toward women. "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Paul wasn't just whistling Dixie when he wrote those words to the people of Galatia. It is as true for you today as it was for the people in the first century. The prison door is standing wide open -- so don't let your choices keep you stuck in the jail cell.
In my post about women and their "treasure worth waiting for" I talked about how women received a curse when Eve, the first woman, chose her own way in the garden. God gave her and her man one rule and they broke it. God handed down a couple of curses. For the woman her pains in childbirth were greatly increased and her "desire would be for [her] husband and he will lord it over [her]".
Today's blog post will deal with the "and he will lord it over her" portion of that curse.
In my post to the ladies, I took great pains to point out that, while it is a struggle women face, it's not an inevitability from which we have no hope. Women struggle to feel lovable, desirable, beautiful....but God provided us a new way of living -- living in the abundant promise of our Father, the King. And, likewise, just because the curse states that "he" (meaning all potential husbands, in other words, all men) will "lord it over her" doesn't mean that men have no hope of a different behavior. Men, you are unfortunately bent toward taking advantage of this need in women. That's why it is so easy to lead women on with flirtation that may feel innocent to you. Even if you don't intend to hurt the women in your life, it too often comes easily because of the tendency buried in this curse. Let's take it a step further. Do you view pornography, either in magazines or videos? Do you go to strip clubs or other places where women's bodies are on display for your pleasure? Do you let your computer or smart phone lead you to websites where images of women let your mind wander to what you might do to her? Do you pick up women at bars for the full intent of sleeping with them once and nothing more -- in essence, using her as a prostitute?
It might feel good in the moment, but let's think for a moment of the conversation you might have with your future wife about these choices. How do you feel about saying the words "I'm sorry, my love, but my mind's eye contains images of other women's naked bodies and I can't help but compare you to them." Maybe you would like to have this conversation: "I want to honor and cherish you forever....you are more special to me than all those women I had one night stands with when I was in college." How do you think your lovely bride will feel about these conversations? How do you think she will feel about herself as she considers the comparisons you must surely make in your mind -- as she wonders if you are disappointed in her sexuality compared to the other women you have "been with"?
How about the women you are taking advantage of? When you view women in pornography or at a strip club, you are taking advantage of her body -- your eyes are committing rape. You are looking at her body without any intent of honoring, cherishing and protecting her. Think about that woman as a five year old girl. When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, do you think she drew a picture of herself with a stripper pole? How about that girl as a 10 year old. In her essay about her future career, do you think she wrote "I hope I have big boobies when I grow up so that boys can pleasure themselves in the shower while thinking about me"? Think about your future wife. How would you feel if she revealed that she went through a desperate period of time and could only support herself financially by posing for pornography or working in a strip club. Does it make your heart glad to think about all the men who lusted after her body?
So, if God has provided a new way of living to women, what is the new way of living God has provided to men? For one thing, God has given you free will to choose your behavior. You benefit from a woman wearing sexy clothes or allowing herself to be used sexually in order to meet her need for affection. But is that benefit worth what it does to your soul? Is it worth knowing that you are bringing harm to that girl? You have a choice. You can choose to live by the "boys will be boys" adage, letting yourself off the hook for bad behavior toward women. Or you can truly live up to the man Christ calls you to be. Cherish your future wife by protecting your eyes and your mind from the pollution of pornography. Choose to honor the daughters of the King of Kings by refusing to misuse their bodies for your own temporary pleasure. Be more than just a slave to the sinful nature that lures you into the prison of lust. Refuse to allow your mind to be controlled by images that lead you to regret or guilt. In fact, don't give your mind over to anything other than Christ. Run from lust. Don't let your eyes linger on a woman's too-short skirt or low cut top. Refuse to let your computer mouse click on the link to pornography. Burn the copies of Playboy you keep hidden under your bed. Pray for your future wife -- or if you're already married, pray for your wife. Beg God to protect your mind from thinking about any woman other than your beautiful bride. If your mind does flit over to a lustful thought then stop the thought in its tracks and don't give it a chance to take root. Find another guy to hold you accountable in this area and be gut-level honest with your struggles and successes. Ask him to pray with you for freedom from the prison of unhealthy habits toward women. "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Paul wasn't just whistling Dixie when he wrote those words to the people of Galatia. It is as true for you today as it was for the people in the first century. The prison door is standing wide open -- so don't let your choices keep you stuck in the jail cell.
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