Precious moments in the adoption transition
We took the jillion hours of foster parent and adoption classes (well, it felt like a jillion when we were sitting in the hard chairs for three hours at a time). Our instructors told us about all the tricky situations in the fostering and adoption process. There were warnings about Reactive Attachment Disorder and behavior problems and head lice and bizarre behaviors that some foster kids exhibit. But, no one told us about all the sweet moments in the transition from foster to adoption.
The first sweet moment was the night we met the girls. They had received our Life Book earlier that week and had, apparently, spent the week studying every page. When we met the girls they excitedly recounted all the details they already knew about us. "Your favorite color is green!" "You love ice cream!" "Your favorite princess is Belle from Beauty and the Beast!" They were so excited to finally meet us and their enthusiasm was endearing. We left that first meeting in love with these two sweet girls.
Lots of sweet moments followed as they came home, but the transition to forever began to feel real when they sweetly asked if they could call us "Mom" and "Dad". We had been out running errands and they were whispering with each other while we were checking out at the grocery store. When we got home, Little Sister and I were in the kitchen making dinner. She asked "Is it okay if we call you 'Mom' and 'Dad'?" When I answered "yes", she excitedly said "Yea! [Big Sister] and I were talking about it and we want to!" It took a day or two after that for them to transition to our new "names" and we have been Mom and Dad ever since. More recently they have started calling my parents "Grandma" and "Grandpa".
About a month after they came home with us, they started having a conversation about changing their last names. Little Sister wondered about changing her middle name too and the conversation evolved from there into a discussion about changing their whole names. A couple of days later they asked if we could look on the internet at possible names. They picked out lovely new names and haven't yet wavered in their choice to make the change.
Our most recent adoption transition moment came in a subtle, spontaneous moment tonight. A friend has been over to play and they all decided to take advantage of the lovely weather outside. As they were walking out the door, Little Sister told the friend "I'm the smallest person in my family." While it probably doesn't seem like some momentous occasion to anyone else, it seems like a big moment to me. You see, Little Sister isn't the smallest or youngest person in her biological family...and yet, here she was declaring herself the smallest person in her family. This family is what she considers to be her family.
Soon enough a judge will make a ruling and declare us to legally be a family. But, I think its becoming clearer every day that we are already a family.
The first sweet moment was the night we met the girls. They had received our Life Book earlier that week and had, apparently, spent the week studying every page. When we met the girls they excitedly recounted all the details they already knew about us. "Your favorite color is green!" "You love ice cream!" "Your favorite princess is Belle from Beauty and the Beast!" They were so excited to finally meet us and their enthusiasm was endearing. We left that first meeting in love with these two sweet girls.
Lots of sweet moments followed as they came home, but the transition to forever began to feel real when they sweetly asked if they could call us "Mom" and "Dad". We had been out running errands and they were whispering with each other while we were checking out at the grocery store. When we got home, Little Sister and I were in the kitchen making dinner. She asked "Is it okay if we call you 'Mom' and 'Dad'?" When I answered "yes", she excitedly said "Yea! [Big Sister] and I were talking about it and we want to!" It took a day or two after that for them to transition to our new "names" and we have been Mom and Dad ever since. More recently they have started calling my parents "Grandma" and "Grandpa".
About a month after they came home with us, they started having a conversation about changing their last names. Little Sister wondered about changing her middle name too and the conversation evolved from there into a discussion about changing their whole names. A couple of days later they asked if we could look on the internet at possible names. They picked out lovely new names and haven't yet wavered in their choice to make the change.
Our most recent adoption transition moment came in a subtle, spontaneous moment tonight. A friend has been over to play and they all decided to take advantage of the lovely weather outside. As they were walking out the door, Little Sister told the friend "I'm the smallest person in my family." While it probably doesn't seem like some momentous occasion to anyone else, it seems like a big moment to me. You see, Little Sister isn't the smallest or youngest person in her biological family...and yet, here she was declaring herself the smallest person in her family. This family is what she considers to be her family.
Soon enough a judge will make a ruling and declare us to legally be a family. But, I think its becoming clearer every day that we are already a family.
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