Why I don't want my daughters to be Disney Princesses

Having daughters definitely changes your perspective on things. I was watching the classic Disney movie "Sleeping Beauty" with my oldest daughter the other day and found myself horrified watching the supposedly romantic scene where Aurora (the princess) meets Prince Phillip in the forest. She was only 15 at the time and had been sent out to pick berries in the forest while her fairy godmothers planned her surprise Sweet Sixteen party. While in the forest - alone - she is greeted by a handsome stranger who starts singing to her and trying to dance with her. He takes her hand and won't let go of it as she tries to walk away.

So let me get this straight....a strange man approaches a 15 year old girl in a dark, secluded forest and won't stop touching her even as she tries to walk away? That's not romantic, that's the start of an episode of "Law and Order: SVU". I told my daughter "This seems sweet and all, but if this really ever happens to you and you're approached by a strange man who won't stop trying to touch you, do not stick around. Run away if you have to and find a safe place where there are plenty of witnesses around."

This incident has made me re-think other Disney princesses. A lot of them make choices that I do not want my daughters to follow. Here are a few.

Belle from "Beauty and the Beast" is being held hostage by a beast with an anger problem. And she falls in love with him. Not romantic. We call that "Stockholm Syndrome" and most people who have had been long-term hostages seek therapy for it.

How about Jasmine from "Aladdin"? We all love the song "A Whole New World" and dreaming of our own romantic carpet ride. But, do I really want my daughter sneaking out her bedroom window and spending the whole night hanging out with a homeless kid she barely knows? I don't think so.

Then there's Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" who trades her voice to the evil octopus/witch in exchange for legs. In Disney Princess terms that's the same as selling your soul to the devil. The message this sends to my daughters is that they should literally be open to doing whatever it takes to find adventure and romance.

Then there's Merida from "Brave". I would like to say she sets a different example for my daughters. She's a beautiful, headstrong Ginger who isn't waiting around for Prince Charming to come along and complete her. That's a good message, right? It is....except for that time Merida sought out a witch to help her turn her mother into a bear so she could get the freedom she wanted. If you're smart, moms of teens, don't accept food from your daughters after you've disagreed on how much freedom she should have. Granted, Merida didn't know at the time that her mom would become a dangerous forest creature....but it still isn't exactly the best message for young girls about positive mother-daughter relationships and healthy boundaries.

And while we're on the topic of the animals in Disney movies...have you ever noticed how often Disney princesses hear animals talk? It happens a lot. Or they believe animals (or candlesticks and teapots) are capable of things like sewing dresses. This isn't normal behavior in real life. Hallucinations aren't a good sign for your daughter's mental health. If she thinks woodland creatures are going to sew her prom dress or that frogs are going to serenade her on her first date, you might want to consult with your psychiatrist.

Basically, the message of this blog is that maybe Disney isn't the best at raising your daughters to make good life choices. Better plan on having a few (many) conversations about life,  love, communication and how to manage conflict.