Meet Cute…..or is it?
If you are a fan of romantic comedies, you are probably familiar with the term "Meet Cute". It is one of those impossibly charming situations where two fated strangers meet for the first time in a humorous or adorable way before later falling in love. For example, the two future loves bump heads when they simultaneously reach for the same dropped handkerchief. Or maybe both reach for the same cup of coffee at exactly the same moment and sparks fly as their fingers meet. Whatever the situation, the movie leads you down a path of love with the two characters who experienced the aforementioned Meet Cute.
I would like to set the record straight on some situations that are most assuredly not a Meet Cute. For example, stalking. Under no circumstances does stalking ever qualify as a Meet Cute. I don't care how romantic it looked when Lloyd Dobler was lurking outside Diane's window with that boom box in "Say Anything". This is not an appropriate way to find love. People don't like it. It's weird and creepy, so don't do it.
You know what also isn't a Meet Cute? One night stands. Same goes for date rape.
Fellas, listen closely: girls don't like to be raped. It isn't romantic to be taken on a date and then forced to do something we don't want to do. No means no and stop means stop. It isn't cute to push past our boundaries just because you are stronger than we are or because you think you deserve it. We also don't like being taken advantage of when we're too drunk to give a reasonably well thought-out answer. We sure don't like waking up in the morning with a headache and finding out that we had intercourse we don't remember…and that we don't remember agreeing to have. It doesn't matter how we are dressed or how provocatively we are behaving; if you can tell we are drunk then you shouldn't move forward with sex. In the best case scenario you will be remembered as a sad regret. The worst case scenario is where we remember and refer to you forever as "that guy who raped me". That's not cute. Or sexy. In fact, that's what most people would refer to as "a crime". If that is your idea of a Meet Cute, then you need to walk away from your computer because you clearly have begun to believe what pornography is selling you, because pornography is probably the only place where rape is depicted as romantic.
And now for the ladies…
Okay, girls, it's time for you to take a long, truthful look at yourself in the mirror. What are you hoping to see in the relationships you are pursuing? Are you looking for true love? Someone to love and cherish you? If you are putting on your shortest skirts and skimpiest shirts to find true love at a bar or club, then you are going to be disappointed. You'll be especially frustrated in your quest for love if you think you'll find it in a one night stand. Guys don't have one night stands with the girl they want to marry. And even if they did, is that really the way you want to remember your love story?
Grandchild: Grammy, tell me about how you and Grandpop met.
You: Well, I was looking for love so I put on my shortest skirt and my skimpiest top.
Grandchild: Grammy, YOU wore an outfit like that?!
You: Believe it or not, kid, Grammy's cans used to sit on the top shelf…
Grandchild: Huh?
You: I was quite the looker back in my day. Anyways, so I got all dolled up and went to my favorite bar so I could find someone to hook up with. Your Grandpop bought me a drink and then another and before you know it we were both three sheets to the wind. I don't remember much else about that night except that I never could find my underpants.
Grandchild: Ewwww….
You: Your Grandpop and I didn't see each other again until that fateful day when we both showed up at the student health center at the same time to be treated for the same STD. The rest is history!
Girls, this scenario isn't a Meet Cute. It's also not a Meet Cute to be so wasted that you are no longer aware of your surroundings and can no longer protect yourself. You never know which guys are looking to live out some rape fantasy, so you've gotta be ready to look out for your own safety.
The moral of the story is this: If you are looking for love, you won't find it with meaningless (or unwanted) sex. So go put on some respectable clothes and head to the coffee shop or bookstore or church where you have a realistic chance of having a genuine Meet Cute with someone whom you might actually want to know for more than one night.
I would like to set the record straight on some situations that are most assuredly not a Meet Cute. For example, stalking. Under no circumstances does stalking ever qualify as a Meet Cute. I don't care how romantic it looked when Lloyd Dobler was lurking outside Diane's window with that boom box in "Say Anything". This is not an appropriate way to find love. People don't like it. It's weird and creepy, so don't do it.
You know what also isn't a Meet Cute? One night stands. Same goes for date rape.
Fellas, listen closely: girls don't like to be raped. It isn't romantic to be taken on a date and then forced to do something we don't want to do. No means no and stop means stop. It isn't cute to push past our boundaries just because you are stronger than we are or because you think you deserve it. We also don't like being taken advantage of when we're too drunk to give a reasonably well thought-out answer. We sure don't like waking up in the morning with a headache and finding out that we had intercourse we don't remember…and that we don't remember agreeing to have. It doesn't matter how we are dressed or how provocatively we are behaving; if you can tell we are drunk then you shouldn't move forward with sex. In the best case scenario you will be remembered as a sad regret. The worst case scenario is where we remember and refer to you forever as "that guy who raped me". That's not cute. Or sexy. In fact, that's what most people would refer to as "a crime". If that is your idea of a Meet Cute, then you need to walk away from your computer because you clearly have begun to believe what pornography is selling you, because pornography is probably the only place where rape is depicted as romantic.
And now for the ladies…
Okay, girls, it's time for you to take a long, truthful look at yourself in the mirror. What are you hoping to see in the relationships you are pursuing? Are you looking for true love? Someone to love and cherish you? If you are putting on your shortest skirts and skimpiest shirts to find true love at a bar or club, then you are going to be disappointed. You'll be especially frustrated in your quest for love if you think you'll find it in a one night stand. Guys don't have one night stands with the girl they want to marry. And even if they did, is that really the way you want to remember your love story?
Grandchild: Grammy, tell me about how you and Grandpop met.
You: Well, I was looking for love so I put on my shortest skirt and my skimpiest top.
Grandchild: Grammy, YOU wore an outfit like that?!
You: Believe it or not, kid, Grammy's cans used to sit on the top shelf…
Grandchild: Huh?
You: I was quite the looker back in my day. Anyways, so I got all dolled up and went to my favorite bar so I could find someone to hook up with. Your Grandpop bought me a drink and then another and before you know it we were both three sheets to the wind. I don't remember much else about that night except that I never could find my underpants.
Grandchild: Ewwww….
You: Your Grandpop and I didn't see each other again until that fateful day when we both showed up at the student health center at the same time to be treated for the same STD. The rest is history!
Girls, this scenario isn't a Meet Cute. It's also not a Meet Cute to be so wasted that you are no longer aware of your surroundings and can no longer protect yourself. You never know which guys are looking to live out some rape fantasy, so you've gotta be ready to look out for your own safety.
The moral of the story is this: If you are looking for love, you won't find it with meaningless (or unwanted) sex. So go put on some respectable clothes and head to the coffee shop or bookstore or church where you have a realistic chance of having a genuine Meet Cute with someone whom you might actually want to know for more than one night.
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