Red hair and the accompanying fire

Recently I experienced some anger that I truly believe was righteous anger following months and months of an emotional roller coaster ride and finding out there was yet another twist in the path instead of the long-awaited promised resolution. In the frustration of the moment, the fire in my red hair sparked and I expressed my thoughts in a manner that was probably not the most wise. Sometimes my hair (and my mouth) gets me into trouble. There are decisions to be made and much prayer is going into what those decisions will be. Luckily, I know exactly what I want. I want what most people want -- I want to matter. I want someone to appreciate me for who I am and be forgiven for what I sometimes mistakenly do. I want to work/minister in an environment where I have the freedom in Christ that He has promised me. I want clarity and not confusion, communication and not secrets, appreciation and not abuse. I want to utilize my gifts, interests, experience, and abilities. I want to be asked my opinion and be seen as an expert in my field. I want to respect and be respected. I want to know what the future holds and I want to know that it lines up perfectly with God's will. I want a job that pays well enough that I don't cry at bill time and leaves enough leftover to be a wise steward. I want to work in ministry with my husband and I want an work/home environment that will be healthy for the children we adopt. I want to be a wife who blesses her husband and I want to be a mom who makes a difference in my children. I want to be remembered well by those who know me. I want people to cry and laugh at my funeral and be sad that I'm gone, but happy that I'm with my Jesus. Even a redhead like me can hope to get what she wants out of life.