Mars Needs Moms?
One of my favorite books is Berkeley Breathed's "Mars Needs Moms". It is a lovely little story with such a sweet mother-child ending that makes me cry every time. One of my favorite quotes around our house has become "And that's why Mars needs moms…" I usually spout this saying whenever something I warned of comes true or I found that lost item that no one could find -- and in under 0.25 seconds.
Sometimes, though, I feel like I, as the mom, bear the burden of saying "no" when everyone else in the world is saying "yes" to my girls. I want them to grow up to be healthy, well-balanced adults who know how to treat others, work hard, take care of themselves and make whose choices. So often the choices they want to make (or want me to make) deviate from those goals. So I step in and say "no" to that thing in the moment that seems harmless but takes us down a path toward poor choices or bad habits.
Unfortunately, I often feel like I'm the only one saying "no". And I feel like I'm the bad guy because of it. For example, I make the oldest girl start her own shower. She is old enough to take care of showering all on her own. And yet, when she is feeling lazy (or maybe just insecure in our love for her) she asks her us to start the shower for her. Even though I've told her she needs to take care of that for herself. And when she asks my husband, he invariably says "yes" because, in the grand scheme of things, starting a shower now and then isn't that big of a deal. Except that it bothers me that she even asks because I don't want her to get into a habit of laziness or helplessness. And it bothers me that I'm the only one saying "no" against the tide of "yes" that everyone else gets to say.
Is this a normal "mom" phenomenon? Or do I just need to lighten up?
Sometimes, though, I feel like I, as the mom, bear the burden of saying "no" when everyone else in the world is saying "yes" to my girls. I want them to grow up to be healthy, well-balanced adults who know how to treat others, work hard, take care of themselves and make whose choices. So often the choices they want to make (or want me to make) deviate from those goals. So I step in and say "no" to that thing in the moment that seems harmless but takes us down a path toward poor choices or bad habits.
Unfortunately, I often feel like I'm the only one saying "no". And I feel like I'm the bad guy because of it. For example, I make the oldest girl start her own shower. She is old enough to take care of showering all on her own. And yet, when she is feeling lazy (or maybe just insecure in our love for her) she asks her us to start the shower for her. Even though I've told her she needs to take care of that for herself. And when she asks my husband, he invariably says "yes" because, in the grand scheme of things, starting a shower now and then isn't that big of a deal. Except that it bothers me that she even asks because I don't want her to get into a habit of laziness or helplessness. And it bothers me that I'm the only one saying "no" against the tide of "yes" that everyone else gets to say.
Is this a normal "mom" phenomenon? Or do I just need to lighten up?
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