Loretta Lynn or TLC

One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me was “Be careful who you date because you never know who you’ll fall in love with”. She said this to me often during my teenage years. Looking back, it was a genius thing to say – although, I’m sure at the time I rolled my eyes and thought “Gag me with a spoon!” (it was the late 80’s, so people actually said dumb things like that). As I read my News Feed it seems there are several people I know who need to hear Mom’s advice.

If you are dating a guy who is lazy and unmotivated, then he will continue to be lazy and unmotivated in marriage when it comes time to help you take care of your home, parent your children, and pay the bills. If you are dating a guy who drinks excessively or is addicted to drugs, why do you think he will stop when you walk down the aisle with him? A boyfriend who is addicted to video games will leave you miserably lonely in marriage as you see him trade time with you for time with the latest game.  That guy who only gives you affection when he wants a piece of your assets will not miraculously begin to respect you as his wife. If you are dating someone who is explosively, violently angry, he is unlikely to become anything different as your husband. That guy who is constantly flirting with other women will probably continue to flirt with other women after you drag him down the aisle. You fall in love with a louse, a cheat, an addict, an abuser, a criminal, or a slug and that’s the guy you will end up with if you choose to put a ring on it.

If the guy you are dating is any of those awful things but you are still convinced he is “The One”, then your only hope is to pray that he will find Jesus and that the Holy Spirit will change those characteristics BEFORE you agree to marriage. Once the ring is on your finger, you lose all of your leverage to get that man to turn over a new leaf. Marriage is about making a vow to love, honor and cherish the person you walk down the aisle with – whether that’s a high-quality man or a slug-of-a-human-being.

I’ve been thinking that too many women are singing “Stand By Your Man”, instead of “No Scrubs” by TLC. It seems that too many girls are willing to settle for chumps and then they do whatever it takes to keep that chump around. Why?! You are worth so much more than that! God has such a better plan in your life than that! You are the daughter of the King of Kings – you are a princess! Despite what magazines and TV shows make you believe, you are good enough, beautiful enough, loveable enough, smart enough, and just in general you are enough. God didn’t make you to settle for some slug of a man who doesn’t love and cherish the amazing woman that you are.