On behalf of the pastors

I came across one of those infographics that often gets shared on Facebook or other social media. It had several statistics about pastors. Some of the statistics were surprising, others felt like validation for my own experience as a pastor’s wife.

According to research by The Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc., the statistics are pretty bleak for pastors and their families.

90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.

80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors.

70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.

80% spouses feel left out and underappreciated by church members.

80% of pastors' spouses wish their spouse would choose a different profession.

Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

#1 reason pastors leave the ministry — Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastors believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

These statistics paint a pretty dark picture of life as a professional minister. As the wife of a pastor, I concur with many of these statistics. Often church responsibilities take priority over family time. Even when my pastor-husband is home, he often isn’t really present because of text messages, emails or crisis phone calls – most which must be dealt with right away. The pressure on pastors is intense and there often isn’t enough support to fight the inevitable burnout, marital strain, or depression.

So, you have made it this far into the blog post, which means that you must want to do something to make life less stressful for your pastor. Here are some suggestions:

• Speak encouraging words to your pastor. Go above and beyond just the normal “good morning” greeting and offer specific positive comments about something your pastor does that is helpful or inspiring.
• Tell your pastor you appreciate all his hard work. Many people assume the pastor only works on Sundays and Wednesdays. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Your pastor is putting in many unseen hours and sacrificing many moments of family time in order to serve the church.
• Unless it is an emergency, please don’t call your pastor “after hours”. If you must call in the evening, don’t be surprised when it goes to voicemail. Most likely he is screening calls while he is eating dinner with his family. Leave a message and he will give you a call back at some point in the evening.
• Please be understanding that your pastor is not superhuman. Your pastor has a lot of roles to fill in the church and not all of those roles fit his specific spiritual gifting or skill set. He has to be the weekly speaker, which means he has to spend many hours in research and writing. Then there is the counseling, hospital visitation, small group discipleship, fixing the broken toilet/light fixture/sound board/computer/hot water heater in the church, marketing, managing the church finances, talking about the church in the community, telling people about Jesus, managing technology and everything else. There is a good possibility that your pastor will fail to live up to your expectations in one or more of these roles. I'm sure you can imagine how difficult it would be to try and be perfect at so many different job skills.
• Watch how much negative feedback you offer about sermons. You may think your pastor isn’t digging deep enough into Scripture, but someone else may have already complained that the pastor is covering topics that are over people’s heads. Some people complain if the pastor isn’t entertaining enough, while others are looking for the pastor to end every sermon with dramatic tears. Basically, it is impossible to create sermons to perfectly fit everyone’s preferences and your criticism will do more harm to your pastor’s well-being than you realize.
• Remember that your pastor is also a part of a family. He or she may be married and have children. Family must be prioritized highly if your pastor is going to survive a career in ministry. With that said, your pastor cannot be at 100% of the things hosted by the church. Neither can his wife. If my husband were to attend every event, Bible study, workday, men’s lunch, and committee meeting, then his family would never see him and it would be very damaging to his family relationships. Without healthy boundaries, burnout would be a guarantee.
• Don’t ask emotionally-charged questions or offer complaints right before the church service begins. Your pastor spends those moments trying to mentally focus on the message and to hear the direction of the Holy Spirit. It is very difficult to put on a good face in front of a crowd of people when you are weighed down by a poorly-timed complaint.
• Similarly, don’t offer up any unpleasant surprises before the service, either. Right before the sermon is probably not the best time to call your pastor to tell him you over-slept and can’t teach your children’s ministry class this morning. Same goes with bad news about the church roof or an electrical issue. If it can wait until after service, then please wait to break the bad news so that your pastor can focus on the sermon. He can always deal with that bad news after church.
• One thing many church members forget about is their monthly or weekly tithe check. The vocational pastor is usually a full-time employee of the church. That means he doesn’t have a job at a factory or office where he receives a paycheck for creating or selling a product. The paycheck he receives comes from the support of the people to whom he ministers. On top of his paycheck, there are many routine expenses in the church. The paper and copy services for the weekly bulletins, the internet service that provides the church with access to technology (like a church website), the building payment, utilities, curriculum, toilet paper, soap, paper towels – all of these expenses are critical to providing the kind of experience we expect when we go to church. I don’t know about you, but I like having access to a restroom when I’m at church. It wouldn’t be the same experience if I had to remember to bring my own toilet paper or if I didn’t have clean water to wash my hands with afterward. Those simple things – a roof over our heads, air-conditioning or heat, and water to flush the toilet come at a price. Your financial support is critical to ministry – and essential to keeping your pastor free of stress over the finances.
• Finally, the best way to take the pressure off your pastor is to take some of the load off his plate. He or she shouldn’t have to set the direction of the church, teach all the Bible studies, visit all the elderly/sickly patients at the hospital, do all the finance reports, fix all the maintenance issues, mow the yard, buy all the kitchen and bath supplies, and everything else – on top of trying to deliver a perfect sermon each week. Offer to take some of the mundane tasks off his plate so he has more time to focus on the big stuff.

Being in ministry is rewarding, but difficult work. You carry the burdens of the people and the pressure of growing the ministry. Support, prayer and encouragement from congregation members can absolutely make or break a pastor and their ministry.