MJ, Farrah, Ed and the guy from American Express commercials
A friend of mine said she had been waiting all week to see what I might say in my blog regarding the recent deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. I had considered writing something about it, but hadn't known what I even thought much less how I would put those thoughts into writing without offending anyone. After thinking about my friend's request, though, I do have some thoughts and I don't care how controversial it might seem.
No matter what you thought of Michael Jackson, no matter how much you may have loved him as an artist or hated him for being a potential child molester, his death is tragic. Here was a 50 year old man whose father sold him into slavery at the tender age of five. He was a child and was forced into the limelight. Instead of playing, learning and growing with others his age, he was thrust into the spotlight where he kanoodled with the rich and famous and was made to imagine he was somehow more important than anyone else. Was his talent real? Certainly. No one can hear "ABC's" without noticing the amazing vocal performance of young Michael.
But was our enjoyment of his talent worth the loss of his entire childhood? Was it worth creating for him a life that became increasingly unbearable? As time wore on in his career, the wounds from the loss of his childhood became increasingly evident. He remained childlike in his behavior and in his expectations from others. He was naive enough to believe that he could have normal childhood friendships with children even as an adult in his 30s and 40s. He even created a child's dream home in the Neverland Ranch. His desire for a childhood led to very real investigations and legal action because his actions reeked of pedophilia. He was also childlike in his spending. He treated money the way any child would, by buying up whatever struck his fancy. In the same way a child would overspend in a candy shop, Michael spent on extravagant gifts for himself including tigers, a monkey and a full-size amusement park. His childlike "investments" have led to financial ruin.
Perhaps worse, the paparazzi and throngs of adoring fans followed him everywhere he went for the vast majority of his life. There was no escaping who he was. He was Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. The media feverishly ate up everything he did, every move he made. Who could live under that kind of never-ending scrutiny and not come away looking like a freak?
The question Michael's life and death raises for me as I ponder it is this: Why do I think I deserve access to famous people? Why does their career make them less human than me? Why do I deserve rights to privacy and pursuit of happiness, but their career choice forfeits those basic freedoms? I enjoy the musical talents of those I hear on the radio or see in concert. I love a good movie or TV show to inform or entertain me. My life is enhanced by the talents of those who have chosen public careers. But why should their chosen career take away the rights to live their off-stage lives with some modicum of peace and privacy? Shouldn't Britney Spears be allowed to take her children to the grocery store without worry that the paparazzi will block her access to the store entrance or back into her own car? Why can't Jennifer Anniston go to the gym or the beach without worry that unflattering photos will show up in a spread titled "Stars Without Makeup" or "Stars With Cellulite". If photographers and others hounded my every move or showed up on my doorstep, I as a free citizen would have the right to phone 911 and report harassment. Why don't my favorite actors or musicians have the same rights?
It also makes me ask why we all feel the need to rip apart famous folks who happen to be struggling. Many of our favorite child stars turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their problems...not unlike many of our own teenagers in "real" life. Shouldn't they be given the same grace that is afforded our own sons and daughters when they face personal struggles? Or take struggling marriages? Why do we almost root for celebrity marriages to fail so we can be entertained? I think of Jon and Kate Gosselin of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" fame. What couple with eight young children wouldn't struggle to maintain a healthy marriage relationship? You can't blame them for signing up for a reality show to help keep their heads afloat financially. How else would they have money for Kate to be a stay-at-home mom or money to build a very large home with plenty of land for eight children to run and play? How do you expect them to pay for eight sets of everything, including braces, cars and college? TLC offered them something that would take care of their financial needs in a way that nothing else could without breaking the law. Now that their marriage is ending due to the stress of eight children plus paparazzi, why are we celebrating it by buying US and People magazines and reading all the internet hype? Shouldn't we instead mourn that eight young children are now going to be a statistic of divorce? Shouldn't we allow them privacy to grieve the loss of this marriage?
Am I planning to visit Neverland Ranch to mourn MJ's loss? Never. Other than the music he made with the Jackson 5, I didn't really care for him as an artist, even at the height of his career. Honestly, I am more than a little frustrated that the news media is treating his death with such intensity. Many have made comments that indicate that MJ's death is somehow so iconic and world-changing that we might never truly get over his loss. I think too much is being made of his life and his death. I would far rather mourn the loss of Farrah Fawcett who fought valianty against such a terrible disease. Even better, I would far rather celebrate the lives of people who have truly made an impact on others, like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa. And I plan to celebrate those lives without the help of paparazzi or tabloids.
No matter what you thought of Michael Jackson, no matter how much you may have loved him as an artist or hated him for being a potential child molester, his death is tragic. Here was a 50 year old man whose father sold him into slavery at the tender age of five. He was a child and was forced into the limelight. Instead of playing, learning and growing with others his age, he was thrust into the spotlight where he kanoodled with the rich and famous and was made to imagine he was somehow more important than anyone else. Was his talent real? Certainly. No one can hear "ABC's" without noticing the amazing vocal performance of young Michael.
But was our enjoyment of his talent worth the loss of his entire childhood? Was it worth creating for him a life that became increasingly unbearable? As time wore on in his career, the wounds from the loss of his childhood became increasingly evident. He remained childlike in his behavior and in his expectations from others. He was naive enough to believe that he could have normal childhood friendships with children even as an adult in his 30s and 40s. He even created a child's dream home in the Neverland Ranch. His desire for a childhood led to very real investigations and legal action because his actions reeked of pedophilia. He was also childlike in his spending. He treated money the way any child would, by buying up whatever struck his fancy. In the same way a child would overspend in a candy shop, Michael spent on extravagant gifts for himself including tigers, a monkey and a full-size amusement park. His childlike "investments" have led to financial ruin.
Perhaps worse, the paparazzi and throngs of adoring fans followed him everywhere he went for the vast majority of his life. There was no escaping who he was. He was Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. The media feverishly ate up everything he did, every move he made. Who could live under that kind of never-ending scrutiny and not come away looking like a freak?
The question Michael's life and death raises for me as I ponder it is this: Why do I think I deserve access to famous people? Why does their career make them less human than me? Why do I deserve rights to privacy and pursuit of happiness, but their career choice forfeits those basic freedoms? I enjoy the musical talents of those I hear on the radio or see in concert. I love a good movie or TV show to inform or entertain me. My life is enhanced by the talents of those who have chosen public careers. But why should their chosen career take away the rights to live their off-stage lives with some modicum of peace and privacy? Shouldn't Britney Spears be allowed to take her children to the grocery store without worry that the paparazzi will block her access to the store entrance or back into her own car? Why can't Jennifer Anniston go to the gym or the beach without worry that unflattering photos will show up in a spread titled "Stars Without Makeup" or "Stars With Cellulite". If photographers and others hounded my every move or showed up on my doorstep, I as a free citizen would have the right to phone 911 and report harassment. Why don't my favorite actors or musicians have the same rights?
It also makes me ask why we all feel the need to rip apart famous folks who happen to be struggling. Many of our favorite child stars turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their problems...not unlike many of our own teenagers in "real" life. Shouldn't they be given the same grace that is afforded our own sons and daughters when they face personal struggles? Or take struggling marriages? Why do we almost root for celebrity marriages to fail so we can be entertained? I think of Jon and Kate Gosselin of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" fame. What couple with eight young children wouldn't struggle to maintain a healthy marriage relationship? You can't blame them for signing up for a reality show to help keep their heads afloat financially. How else would they have money for Kate to be a stay-at-home mom or money to build a very large home with plenty of land for eight children to run and play? How do you expect them to pay for eight sets of everything, including braces, cars and college? TLC offered them something that would take care of their financial needs in a way that nothing else could without breaking the law. Now that their marriage is ending due to the stress of eight children plus paparazzi, why are we celebrating it by buying US and People magazines and reading all the internet hype? Shouldn't we instead mourn that eight young children are now going to be a statistic of divorce? Shouldn't we allow them privacy to grieve the loss of this marriage?
Am I planning to visit Neverland Ranch to mourn MJ's loss? Never. Other than the music he made with the Jackson 5, I didn't really care for him as an artist, even at the height of his career. Honestly, I am more than a little frustrated that the news media is treating his death with such intensity. Many have made comments that indicate that MJ's death is somehow so iconic and world-changing that we might never truly get over his loss. I think too much is being made of his life and his death. I would far rather mourn the loss of Farrah Fawcett who fought valianty against such a terrible disease. Even better, I would far rather celebrate the lives of people who have truly made an impact on others, like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa. And I plan to celebrate those lives without the help of paparazzi or tabloids.
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