Dealing with the opposition...
I have a child with ADHD. Some of her symptoms are what you'd expect, including about one billion cartwheels a day when she's not on medication. She has a few symptoms that are more frustrating, like being oppositional, angry, and difficult to get along with at times. Her unpleasant behavior comes in waves and life with her is like a roller coaster. My child is sweet, loving, helpful, and fun when things are going well; but when she meets resistance all bets are off and we might be met with eye rolls, complaints, tantrums, snippy comments, and refusal to comply. Resistance, in these situations, can be anything from being told "no" to not getting to sit in the chair she wanted to hearing she got the answer wrong on her math assignment. And it doesn't have to be "no" to a large thing. My child gets unduly frustrated over hearing "no" to things she already knows will result in an answer of "no", like having caffeinated soda at night. Some of her behavior seems to be triggered by her ADHD medicine and we are working on getting the type of medicine and dose right to correct this.
This morning, though, the Holy Spirit gave me a fresh perspective on her behavior. As it turns out, I'm just as oppositional as my child -- and I bet you are, too. I don't throw tantrums when I hear the word "no", but I do get frustrated and sometimes I even complain. When I'm wrong or receive unpleasant feedback, I try to defend myself and find reasons why I'm not really to blame for the problem. Sometimes I even get angry and become sullen in my frustration. I don't act out or yell, but I sometimes struggle to get over my hurt feelings and it affects my ability to be patient, kind, and loving toward others as I lick my wounds.
My faith life isn't immune to this kind of opposition. I pray for stressful situations I am facing and wait for God to answer. When it seems the answer is "no" or "not yet", I get antsy and then frustrated and then I start to blame God for withholding his blessing from me. Essentially, I behave like a spoiled and petulant child who is demanding her way.
But what if, like my own parenting of my child, God tells me "no" because what I want could ultimately be harmful and I just don't realize it yet? What if God is rescuing me from my own poor choices and I just can't see it because I don't have his perfect perspective? Surely my heavenly Father -- the one who is in control of the universe -- knows better than I do about what will happen if I plunge headlong into doing things my way. He already knows that his way will work better and save me pain and struggle in the process.
Perhaps with my child I need to take God's approach. He doesn't force his way onto me. He loves me, even when I am oppositional and full of complaints and he lets me make mistakes when I just can't accept his answer for my life. When the mistake is done and I'm in the midst of a mess, he doesn't sneer "I told you so" or "you should have done it my way". Instead he helps me stand up, brushes the dust off my backside, mends my wounds, and encourages me to try again.
This morning, though, the Holy Spirit gave me a fresh perspective on her behavior. As it turns out, I'm just as oppositional as my child -- and I bet you are, too. I don't throw tantrums when I hear the word "no", but I do get frustrated and sometimes I even complain. When I'm wrong or receive unpleasant feedback, I try to defend myself and find reasons why I'm not really to blame for the problem. Sometimes I even get angry and become sullen in my frustration. I don't act out or yell, but I sometimes struggle to get over my hurt feelings and it affects my ability to be patient, kind, and loving toward others as I lick my wounds.
My faith life isn't immune to this kind of opposition. I pray for stressful situations I am facing and wait for God to answer. When it seems the answer is "no" or "not yet", I get antsy and then frustrated and then I start to blame God for withholding his blessing from me. Essentially, I behave like a spoiled and petulant child who is demanding her way.
But what if, like my own parenting of my child, God tells me "no" because what I want could ultimately be harmful and I just don't realize it yet? What if God is rescuing me from my own poor choices and I just can't see it because I don't have his perfect perspective? Surely my heavenly Father -- the one who is in control of the universe -- knows better than I do about what will happen if I plunge headlong into doing things my way. He already knows that his way will work better and save me pain and struggle in the process.
Perhaps with my child I need to take God's approach. He doesn't force his way onto me. He loves me, even when I am oppositional and full of complaints and he lets me make mistakes when I just can't accept his answer for my life. When the mistake is done and I'm in the midst of a mess, he doesn't sneer "I told you so" or "you should have done it my way". Instead he helps me stand up, brushes the dust off my backside, mends my wounds, and encourages me to try again.
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